I need some parenting advice. I'm at the end of my rope and I have no idea what to do next! My daughter is 11 1/2.
We have pretty strict rules about her using the phone because she was being inconsiderate with it this past spring. Basically, she can only call someones house once - no calling back to back, no calling before 9 am, during the dinner hour, and after 8 pm. She may only use the phone downstairs but does not have to ask first to use it.
On Sunday (June 17) she was supposed to be in the shower. We heard the shower running and after about 45 minutes I went to check on her and she was on the phone in her room. I discussed it with DH and we told her no phone until Wednesday (June 20). We also explained why and reminded her of the rules.
The next morning she dropped her laundry on the phone and scooped it up to take upstairs. It took me about 5 minutes to realize what she had done. Sure enough, she was on the phone. Again, DH and I talked and we told her she had lost her phone and computer privileges until Monday (June 25). On Wednesday (June 20) we caught her on the phone again so DH extended the punishment another week and told her if she did it again she was going to lose her computer (does NOT have internet access!) and TV. My sister is visiting from Ireland and needed a cell phone to use while she's here so I offered my old blackberry and said I would set it up with a prepaid account. Of course, when I went to get it I couldn't find it (this was on Friday, June 22). DD had taken it and had been attempting to text and call with it. There was saved data starting on Monday a week ago through Friday when I took the phone from her. DH then took her computer and TV out of her room. We told her that we were really disappointed with her. At this point both house phones are being kept in my bedroom in my night stand.
I've been sick all day with food poisoning and while I'm not as alert as I normally am, I was still present. Once again I realized she was on the phone, which was confusing, considering I thought they were both in my bedroom. Apparently she had been sneaking in to our room while we were not looking or while DH was asleep (he works nights) and taking one of the phones, turning the ringer off, and then calling her friends.
My mind is just blown. I don't know how to punish her or what to do next. She is just flat out refusing to accept the consequences we have given her. She's made flippant comments suggesting we have over punished her so if she does anything else she shouldn't have a punishment. She says she doesn't care what we say or think. I was trying to make the consequence relevant to the crime but it just is not working. DH has cancelled all of her plans for the next two weeks and she just does not care. All of this has made zero impact on her. Any suggestions??