**VERY GRAPHIC** We belive my 10yr old sister is being "messed with". How do I talk with her to find out?
When I was 13, my half-sister was born. Let's call her Carly. I was forced to raise her until I was almost 17. I actually raised her, they took me out of school when she was born and I took care of her during the day: fed her, bathed her, dressed her, kept her entertained, taught her, put her to bed at night, woke up with her during the night, did my best to make her feel loved and adored when our mom and her dad would scream and fight and the police would come out and take one to jail, everything.
A nurse once tried to say (while trying to get me to have an abortion, which I did not), "well you were not raising her because you were not bringing in the money." Well you know what, every cent of my "babysitting money" went into feeding that child and if I had enough, I got to eat too. And you know what else, right now with my own two children, I am doing the exact same thing I was with my sister (except we have more than enough for food), and my husband is bringing in the money, not me. So yes, I was raising my sister, just like the stay at home mom I am today.
Once when my sister was about 2, she stuck a very long screwdriver up the dogs back-end. Once when she was about 3, she laughed and said, "Lick my butt." (Our mom taught her that her vagina was called her "butt" and her butt was called her "bottom", so you know what she was saying.) When Carly was about 6, she drew a picture that looked like a child shoving a screwdriver up a dogs butt. I never saw the picture, but my mom and grandma told me about it, and it could be open to interpretation.
When I was 8 was when my moms boyfriend (Carly's dad) moved in. He was constantly making sexual advances at me and would punish me (physical, not sexual abuse) for not responding, and once when he was drunk he snuck up on me in the shower. So yes, I completely believe he is capable of "messing with" Carly.
At the age of almost 17, I ran away to live with my dad because of the abuse her father was dishing out. They never let me talk to my sister even though she wanted to know where her "Mommy" went. Our mom was "Mom" and I was "Mommy". My husband and I went to visit when I was 20 and she was 7, and that was the last I saw her. Now that she is 10, my mom is bringing her to my state (with permission from the courts) to see me and my children.
I'm going to take her out and get pampered and have ice cream and watch movies and cuddle and bond. And before she leaves, after I have her trust, I am going to talk to her about when she was little and somehow ask if there is any one doing anything to her. Without her knowledge (it is legal in my state, where this will be taking place), I am going to record it. If that bastard is touching her, I am going to lock his ass away for as long as I can.
Ofcourse, I am going to ask her permission if I can use the video, and if she will help us. She hates her dad and cries because she has to go visit him.
Sorry for the life story, I just need to be thorough so I can get the best advice. I have one chance at this, and I need to do it right.
What is the best way to go about talking with a 10 year old about this?
Thank you ladies for your advice. Please do not be mean, I have alot to deal with right now and you will just be ignored. I know that alot people say it's none of my business, but would you let this happen to your little sister, even though no one else will help?