I need legal advise but no one can give me a straight answer. Please help? *UPDATED AGAIN*
I don't have the standard court orders in our divorce. I have full residential custody and we have joint custody as far as decision making. He has to give me a two week notice to see our kids, even on certain holidays. He goes around telling everyone that I keep them from him but he won't follow the court orders and keeps canceling on them. He even wanted them on a weekend that I made plans, we went out of town, when he had 2 dedicated weekends out of this monh. ( I worked around those weekends and he didn't want them then.) He wants to see them in October for a day. He hasn't seen them in over a year in July. He has made the comment to me that I don't need to know where the kids are as long as they are with him. Now because he has not followed orders on giving me an address to where he lives, DO I HAVE TO LET MY KIDS GO WITH HIM?
An update. My X wants to see the kids but still won't follow court orders. He was getting angry with me for asking for his address. He asked if he can see them so my response was, Are you going to follow court orders? I told him it depended on him. He asked over and over if he could see the kids. I kept telling him it depends on him. He gave the phone to his friend and his friend immdiately started to yell at me and swear at me. I never did tell him no. I did hang up on him friend when he did that. I sent him a text telling him that I won't tolerate his friends swearing and bullying me to do things. I'm not playing games and it is between him and me not other people. . My X even tried to turn things around on me and asking why I was bringing in his sister into it. I told him I didn't say anything about her. I just asked for an address. He said her address hasn't changed. I told him that he doesn't live there because she is in a defferent state and city. (He works 3 hours on the other side of me and she lives 3 hours the other directions so they are 6 hours aparty. There is no way he is living with her). He got mad because I'm calling him out on his lies. He hasn't even tried comtacting back yet to see the kids. NO BASHING PLEASE! SO what do people think now?
Okay I finally was able to take him back to court. And for the bashers who thought I had too much control at the time, well, I have all of the control now. So that has to say something about what kind of person he is! I talked to my lawyer and told her what was going on. She said I had every right not to let him see the kids for him not following court orders. So she went ahead and modified the orders. So in the state that I live in, I already had orders standing so the court papers only had to be mailed to him not served nor certified. And because he wouldn't give me an address, they were sent to his last known which was from 2 years ago and the papers had gotten sent back. So he had no idea that I took him back to court. But in the papers, they were stating that he refuses to give an address like he is suppose to in court orders, he and HIS family were doing derogatory language about me in front of the kids. So not I have sole custody, visitations at my discretion, and if he has visitations, they have to be supervised by anyone that I appoint to. It could be me or anyone that I know and want to have them do it. This shows how much this man actually cares about his kids that he can't do what what court orders and it came down to this. Yes everything was done legally because my lawyer wouldn't do anything other of course. He dug his own grave and lost his kids. He hasn't asked to see them yet either. So the subject has not even came up on him being supervised. Now its been well over a years since he has seen his kids at I haven't stopped that at all.
i think you should go abck to court and get the orders reviewed...if hes not following thru on his end..then things need to change..i think technically YES you do have to let the kids go with him..but, i wouldnt want to either...my ex technically is allowed to have my daughter every other weekend...he hasnt been involved for over 2 yrs....so yaa if he showed up at my door wanting her, i wouldnt let him!! (even tho technically he should be allowed)
In most places, if he's not following the orders of the court then you do not have to turn them over.
These laws differ widely from one place to another; however it would be incredibly unwise and irrresponsable in every way to let your children go with some one who refuses to provide you with the honest address of where they live. You should take all of the information you have just given here, put it on paper and make copies. Give one copy to the Judge, one copy to your lawyer, one copy to Child Protection Services and keep a fourth copy for yourself. This guy sounds pretty shady and not a safe & stable person to entrust with the lives of your kids SO DON'T.
As an outsider to your situation -but one who's been there- his comment about you not needing to know where your own children are; in my opinion, screams of a man with a plan to grab the kids and run. DO NOT GIVE THEM TO HIM UNTIL HE FULFILLS ALL THE ORDERS OF THE COURT (and preferrably some mandated parenting classes c/o your friendly neighborhood Social Workers)
I tried contacting my lawyer after the divorce. She has been paid in full and won't return my calls or anything. I have not gotten any notice of her not being my lawyer anymore. I don't recommend her to anyone either. He is an OTR truck driver so that gives him access to travel. Even though he has to give me a 2 week notice to take them out of state. He just isn't abiding by the laws. Child Support Enforecement can't even get a good address on him either. They were getting returned mail. I have a really good case worker for the child support part. But trying to get him to abide by the court orders, he just won't do it. I had to find him. Even a friend even helped me to a point that he could. The only thing I didn't do is give him the notice of a certified letter because I didn't have an address for him. But I told him on the phone, text, and email. I know he has it because he used our old address as a return address to send our daughter a bday card. He was told not to bad mouth me and yet he did. He lied to me about his sister's address whene he was supposedly living. Our oldest daughter told me it was not the street. She was reading the street signs. She knew he had lied. Our kids don't want to talk to him on the phone, He doesn't let them tell him what they want to talk about. He'll change the subject on them if he doesn't like what he hears.And our oldest tried to contact him through fb and he doesn't really respond. She'll tell him something and it makes him mad so he won't respond to her. He wonders why she won't friend him but he hasn't friended her either. Sorry about the venting a little. Just frusterated on how he treats his kids. But my DF treats them as his own and shows so much love to them. He is even willing to adopt them if X would sign them over. He was to a point he was ready to just so he wouldn't have to pay child support. I think his family changed his mind for him.
In my state...probably a lot others also...if he is already in breech of the contract...the court order...then you have every right to deny him access and force him to take you to court to regain his access to the kids. I would call another lawyer for a free consult and ask them directly this question," If the father of my children is in breech of contract with his support and visitation...do I legally have to turn the kids over to him for visitation or can I force him to take me to court to regain his visitation?" That should get you the answers you seek without speaking to your lawyer who won't return your calls. Good Luck.
Your orders do not make sense. If he has joint custody he should be having freer access to his children, sounds as if you, its BS that he has to give you 2 weeks notice for access to his kids. I don't believe you. He needs to take you back to court and get his visitation revised. YOU ARE INTERFERING WITH ACCESS. My husband had the same problem with his ex. He had joint custody andwould make plans on his visitation days.
im getting the urge again... (a little of a vent also)
- Dayna29
on Jun. 28, 2012 at 11:41 PM