I haven't been in that situation but have you tried counseling? You could go individually as well as together and see if you can work through whatever issues you're having. Good luck!
I think maybe it depends on what you are scared of? Is it the fact that things are no longer "as you knew them"? Are you afraid he'll harm your children? Depending on your situation counseling could help, a good encouraging book on your specific fear might help, a great friend to listen and be there, etc.
What really helped my kids was allowing them to see their dad as often as they wished. Even though he's now moved out of state, they talk to him on the phone whenever they want to and spend as much time as they can with him when he is in town.
I don't blame you for being both scared and down. It's a big loss, even if you know it is right and has to be. And it's a big change for you all. I haven't been in your exact situation, but I have gone through a year of extreme change and unknown future, and I got tired of feeling scared and anxious so I made a conscious decision to remind myself when I start freaking out, that - Right now, right this moment, everything is o.k. I don't need to be concerned about tomorrow, next week, next month, or next year. I can be happy and content in this moment because everything is o.k. And I also took note of how many things I worried about that never really happened. The what if's drove me crazy! So instead of thinking about all the terrible things that could happen, I started thinking about all the wonderful amazing things that might happen. The change in my life creates an opening for great surprises. so when I start worrying, I force myself to stop and think, what if my dreams come true? What if I find I love my life more than ever? What if I tried this experience I've always wanted to. I'm finishing my master's degree. So I don't think, what if i can't find a job? I think, what if I find the most amazing dream job? What if I get to love what I do?
Anyway, it sounds like small things, but it has really, really helped me to be a happier person. And I have nurtured some new friendships, and some old ones I had neglected. I feel better about my future now than I have in years.
I feel for you....my son was 3 when I seperated from my ex but we had been married 12 yrs. At the time I worked nights and all the women I worked with were divorced so they understood and always lent an ear or shoulder to cry on. Hugs Hon and Good Luck
Just be reassurring. There is no easy way to seperate. Continue to emphasize that just because Mom and Dad no longer live together that they still love him as much and that will not change. Try not to bad maouth the father and if and when you both start dating again, don't bad mouth the new person in your exes life.
She's cheating on him
- proudmomma529
on Jul. 1, 2012 at 10:20 AM