Really need help on a tough relationship/parenting situation!!
I would give the baby your last name, but make sure that you seek legal advice from a family attorney, to see what you need to do. Keep documentation or a journal of any conversation or interaction that you may have with the baby's father. I would not deny allowing him to see the baby if he wants to. I would set some rules though to ensure the safety of the baby. If he does not follow through, then write it down with the date and time. When your baby gets older, he will have to make the decision of having a relationship with his father. If he thinks in anyway that you played a part in denying his father, there may be resentment and anger, even though you tried to shield him from the bad situation. I know that it is going to be hard, but you have to stay strong and be the better person.
Cut your ties!!! I know they say it's always best to allow the child that relationship....I don't believe this one bit. Best case scenario he will form a bond w/ child and you will be taking your child for visitation w/ a loser drug addict and his stripper girlfriend here in ten years. You wil constantly be worried for his safety and emotional health, as he will most likely be in and out of his life and have no stability. Get away while you can! Forget about him. Tell him if he can make some serious changes to his life (getting a job and place of his own and keeping it for a period of time,) THEN you might reconsider. Make him show you progress before you allow him back in your life. I would almost bet my life he wont do it...
First of all, I beleive that the absolute dirtiest thing a "man" could do is cheat on his pregnant girlfriend. My husband did that to me with my first baby!!! (in retrospect im an idiot for ever staying with him) anyways, advice on that .. dirty stripper? eww. get tested dear. As for deadbeat dad, forget about him. If he wants to visit with his child he can go to court and get rights. Chances are that will never ever ever happen and it surely sounds like your child will be much better off. Believe me making a child doesnt make someone a daddy!!! So, take the highroad, try not to stress as best you can for babies sake, have that beautiful miracle and raise him/her to be a good person like yourself without the POS
The best thing she could do is keep his name off of the birth certificate, especially if he isnt there to sign it when the babies born. This would giveher the choice of allowing him to see her baby or not. If he were to contest it in court, he would have to go through all of the steps (and its not cheap) paternity test, child visitation, and to top it off, he'll most likely be required to pack pay child support from birth, so he most likely wont go through it all in the first place. This is a harsh way of doing things so if she thinks hes not a danger to the child, or could be a good father, then Id say let him try to be. But with the prior daughter of his never being seen or finacialy cared for, and with his drug habits and selling problems, I think shed be better off keeping him out of her babies life.
Quoting Nikkimich:
does anyone want to know the update on this crazy situation? it only got even worse and more screwed up than it already was..
How do you deal with a potty mouth?!
- Nikkimich
on Jul. 20, 2012 at 12:13 AM