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Is it legal for a mom to spank her child if she is the day care provider?

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I was recently visiting an aquaintance's in home daycare.  While we were there, on more than one occasion, she spanked her son.  I questioned her about this because she can't legally spank any of the other children, as the child care provider, so why should she be able to spank her son while the other children are there.  She said she is the mom and she can.  Seems to me if he is there at her day care, she shouldn't be allowed to spank him during day care hours.  Does anyone else know?  

EDIT: It makes a difference because it is during day care where other kids are presesnt.  As a child care provider, she isn't allowed to spank.  Do those other children in her care know that they will never be spanked?  I've done child care when my own child is present.  It is unprofessional not to treat all the children equally.  It was a difficult balance for me to treat my child the same as all the rest in the child care setting.  It is part of the reason I don't do it anymore.

by on Jul. 24, 2012 at 10:21 PM
Replies (41-50):
JeremysMom
by on Jul. 26, 2012 at 8:50 AM
1 mom liked this
No one said anything about you not having sole custody, being on welfare, or called your parenting skills into question at all. I am not sure why you ate getting so upset. I guess it's because you can call out another mom for using her best judgement and what she thinks is best for her kids but since she uses daycare she is a horrible mom(in your opinion). But if someone calls you out, you get your panties in a wad. If you are going to dish it out, you better be able to take it as well. YOU are the only one here calling other people names. If you hate CM that much, then I think it is time to step away from the computer and seek professional help. Youay want to consider anger management classes as well. I am not saying this to be a bitch. It's not healthy to have that amount of anger over someone's decision to put their child in daycare.

Quoting Sat.Wed:

I ALWAYS put my kids first thats why I have SOLE custody of them and I WORK and support them I am NOT on welfare never have, My family watches my kids after school on thursdays and fridays and from 1245pm until 1200am when I get home from work on Saturdays and Sundays and take my childern to see their sperm donar for his SUPERVISED 4 hours on Sunday (thats what EX wanted) I CHOOSE to NOT have my childern in daycare where they will be abused or bullied so you can back the hell off bitch BOTH my childern are behaved and I am currently getting them ready for Private school that I am PAYING for because Public School would NOT follow dd's IEP AND ds was being bullied and DRAGGED across the playground and BEATEN sorry that does NOT fly with me




Quoting Chelsey191:

wow how offended you are by the fact i put my child first and want the best for him. I wonder why that is?






Quoting Sat.Wed:

BOO f**king hoo, I CANT be a sahm.either BUT then again MY kids have NEVER been to daycare and YOU did NOT state that in your reply dont you f**king bite MY head off for YOUR shortcomings of a "mother"








Quoting Chelsey191:

She said she took them upstairs for a spanking. I dont give a rats ass if she spanked her kids but while my kid was present, hell no. I do not want my child in that sort of atmosphere where he would be afraid he is next. And yes when it comes to leaving my child in the care of someone else who i dont know, i am very judgemental. Its bad enough i could not afford to be a sahm mom the least i could do was make sure ds is in the best place possible.










Quoting Sat.Wed:

WOW judgemental much? did she SPECIFICALY say she took them upstairs to spank? or are you ASSumeing? did it EVER cross your mind she possiably took her kids upstairs because she used their rms for time out?












Quoting Chelsey191:

I interviewed 16 different dayhomes when I had to go back to work. I went to one and when I asked her about discipline she said time outs but she takes her kids upstairs. As in she takes them up for a spanking. I did not even bother asking her the rest of my interview questions, that was enough for me to know my son would never go there. I think if other kids there know whats going on they could be afraid they are next and I dont want my son to be terrified of the person watching him all day.






Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Sat.Wed
by on Jul. 26, 2012 at 9:07 AM
I reall dont give a flying monkey what you think. Where is you Doctrate where YOU can make medical calls? YOUR the one whom basically in few words said Im a bad mother I was GIVING you background of what I have done until YOU have been in my shoes YOU can not and should not judge YOUR post makes some think you coddle the boy which is not good for him just saying


Quoting JeremysMom:

No one said anything about you not having sole custody, being on welfare, or called your parenting skills into question at all. I am not sure why you ate getting so upset. I guess it's because you can call out another mom for using her best judgement and what she thinks is best for her kids but since she uses daycare she is a horrible mom(in your opinion). But if someone calls you out, you get your panties in a wad. If you are going to dish it out, you better be able to take it as well. YOU are the only one here calling other people names. If you hate CM that much, then I think it is time to step away from the computer and seek professional help. Youay want to consider anger management classes as well. I am not saying this to be a bitch. It's not healthy to have that amount of anger over someone's decision to put their child in daycare.



Quoting Sat.Wed:

I ALWAYS put my kids first thats why I have SOLE custody of them and I WORK and support them I am NOT on welfare never have, My family watches my kids after school on thursdays and fridays and from 1245pm until 1200am when I get home from work on Saturdays and Sundays and take my childern to see their sperm donar for his SUPERVISED 4 hours on Sunday (thats what EX wanted) I CHOOSE to NOT have my childern in daycare where they will be abused or bullied so you can back the hell off bitch BOTH my childern are behaved and I am currently getting them ready for Private school that I am PAYING for because Public School would NOT follow dd's IEP AND ds was being bullied and DRAGGED across the playground and BEATEN sorry that does NOT fly with me






Quoting Chelsey191:

wow how offended you are by the fact i put my child first and want the best for him. I wonder why that is?








Quoting Sat.Wed:

BOO f**king hoo, I CANT be a sahm.either BUT then again MY kids have NEVER been to daycare and YOU did NOT state that in your reply dont you f**king bite MY head off for YOUR shortcomings of a "mother"










Quoting Chelsey191:

She said she took them upstairs for a spanking. I dont give a rats ass if she spanked her kids but while my kid was present, hell no. I do not want my child in that sort of atmosphere where he would be afraid he is next. And yes when it comes to leaving my child in the care of someone else who i dont know, i am very judgemental. Its bad enough i could not afford to be a sahm mom the least i could do was make sure ds is in the best place possible.












Quoting Sat.Wed:

WOW judgemental much? did she SPECIFICALY say she took them upstairs to spank? or are you ASSumeing? did it EVER cross your mind she possiably took her kids upstairs because she used their rms for time out?














Quoting Chelsey191:

I interviewed 16 different dayhomes when I had to go back to work. I went to one and when I asked her about discipline she said time outs but she takes her kids upstairs. As in she takes them up for a spanking. I did not even bother asking her the rest of my interview questions, that was enough for me to know my son would never go there. I think if other kids there know whats going on they could be afraid they are next and I dont want my son to be terrified of the person watching him all day.







Posted on CafeMom Mobile
JeremysMom
by on Jul. 26, 2012 at 9:10 AM
Please show me where I said anything about your parenting skills. The only thing I said to you was that you are judging her for judging a daycare provider.

Quoting Sat.Wed:

I reall dont give a flying monkey what you think. Where is you Doctrate where YOU can make medical calls? YOUR the one whom basically in few words said Im a bad mother I was GIVING you background of what I have done until YOU have been in my shoes YOU can not and should not judge YOUR post makes some think you coddle the boy which is not good for him just saying




Quoting JeremysMom:

No one said anything about you not having sole custody, being on welfare, or called your parenting skills into question at all. I am not sure why you ate getting so upset. I guess it's because you can call out another mom for using her best judgement and what she thinks is best for her kids but since she uses daycare she is a horrible mom(in your opinion). But if someone calls you out, you get your panties in a wad. If you are going to dish it out, you better be able to take it as well. YOU are the only one here calling other people names. If you hate CM that much, then I think it is time to step away from the computer and seek professional help. Youay want to consider anger management classes as well. I am not saying this to be a bitch. It's not healthy to have that amount of anger over someone's decision to put their child in daycare.





Quoting Sat.Wed:

I ALWAYS put my kids first thats why I have SOLE custody of them and I WORK and support them I am NOT on welfare never have, My family watches my kids after school on thursdays and fridays and from 1245pm until 1200am when I get home from work on Saturdays and Sundays and take my childern to see their sperm donar for his SUPERVISED 4 hours on Sunday (thats what EX wanted) I CHOOSE to NOT have my childern in daycare where they will be abused or bullied so you can back the hell off bitch BOTH my childern are behaved and I am currently getting them ready for Private school that I am PAYING for because Public School would NOT follow dd's IEP AND ds was being bullied and DRAGGED across the playground and BEATEN sorry that does NOT fly with me








Quoting Chelsey191:

wow how offended you are by the fact i put my child first and want the best for him. I wonder why that is?










Quoting Sat.Wed:

BOO f**king hoo, I CANT be a sahm.either BUT then again MY kids have NEVER been to daycare and YOU did NOT state that in your reply dont you f**king bite MY head off for YOUR shortcomings of a "mother"












Quoting Chelsey191:

She said she took them upstairs for a spanking. I dont give a rats ass if she spanked her kids but while my kid was present, hell no. I do not want my child in that sort of atmosphere where he would be afraid he is next. And yes when it comes to leaving my child in the care of someone else who i dont know, i am very judgemental. Its bad enough i could not afford to be a sahm mom the least i could do was make sure ds is in the best place possible.














Quoting Sat.Wed:

WOW judgemental much? did she SPECIFICALY say she took them upstairs to spank? or are you ASSumeing? did it EVER cross your mind she possiably took her kids upstairs because she used their rms for time out?
















Quoting Chelsey191:

I interviewed 16 different dayhomes when I had to go back to work. I went to one and when I asked her about discipline she said time outs but she takes her kids upstairs. As in she takes them up for a spanking. I did not even bother asking her the rest of my interview questions, that was enough for me to know my son would never go there. I think if other kids there know whats going on they could be afraid they are next and I dont want my son to be terrified of the person watching him all day.







Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Sat.Wed
by on Jul. 26, 2012 at 9:16 AM
Not you the other poster sorry. Yes when people make it sound like they dont do any wrong I will judge them


Quoting JeremysMom:

Please show me where I said anything about your parenting skills. The only thing I said to you was that you are judging her for judging a daycare provider.



Quoting Sat.Wed:

I reall dont give a flying monkey what you think. Where is you Doctrate where YOU can make medical calls? YOUR the one whom basically in few words said Im a bad mother I was GIVING you background of what I have done until YOU have been in my shoes YOU can not and should not judge YOUR post makes some think you coddle the boy which is not good for him just saying






Quoting JeremysMom:

No one said anything about you not having sole custody, being on welfare, or called your parenting skills into question at all. I am not sure why you ate getting so upset. I guess it's because you can call out another mom for using her best judgement and what she thinks is best for her kids but since she uses daycare she is a horrible mom(in your opinion). But if someone calls you out, you get your panties in a wad. If you are going to dish it out, you better be able to take it as well. YOU are the only one here calling other people names. If you hate CM that much, then I think it is time to step away from the computer and seek professional help. Youay want to consider anger management classes as well. I am not saying this to be a bitch. It's not healthy to have that amount of anger over someone's decision to put their child in daycare.







Quoting Sat.Wed:

I ALWAYS put my kids first thats why I have SOLE custody of them and I WORK and support them I am NOT on welfare never have, My family watches my kids after school on thursdays and fridays and from 1245pm until 1200am when I get home from work on Saturdays and Sundays and take my childern to see their sperm donar for his SUPERVISED 4 hours on Sunday (thats what EX wanted) I CHOOSE to NOT have my childern in daycare where they will be abused or bullied so you can back the hell off bitch BOTH my childern are behaved and I am currently getting them ready for Private school that I am PAYING for because Public School would NOT follow dd's IEP AND ds was being bullied and DRAGGED across the playground and BEATEN sorry that does NOT fly with me










Quoting Chelsey191:

wow how offended you are by the fact i put my child first and want the best for him. I wonder why that is?












Quoting Sat.Wed:

BOO f**king hoo, I CANT be a sahm.either BUT then again MY kids have NEVER been to daycare and YOU did NOT state that in your reply dont you f**king bite MY head off for YOUR shortcomings of a "mother"














Quoting Chelsey191:

She said she took them upstairs for a spanking. I dont give a rats ass if she spanked her kids but while my kid was present, hell no. I do not want my child in that sort of atmosphere where he would be afraid he is next. And yes when it comes to leaving my child in the care of someone else who i dont know, i am very judgemental. Its bad enough i could not afford to be a sahm mom the least i could do was make sure ds is in the best place possible.
















Quoting Sat.Wed:

WOW judgemental much? did she SPECIFICALY say she took them upstairs to spank? or are you ASSumeing? did it EVER cross your mind she possiably took her kids upstairs because she used their rms for time out?


















Quoting Chelsey191:

I interviewed 16 different dayhomes when I had to go back to work. I went to one and when I asked her about discipline she said time outs but she takes her kids upstairs. As in she takes them up for a spanking. I did not even bother asking her the rest of my interview questions, that was enough for me to know my son would never go there. I think if other kids there know whats going on they could be afraid they are next and I dont want my son to be terrified of the person watching him all day.








Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Chelsey191
by Member on Jul. 26, 2012 at 9:39 AM

Your so angry you cant even keep your posts straight. And over what? The fact I have standards when leaving my son in the care of another person? Two words, anger management.

Quoting Sat.Wed:

I reall dont give a flying monkey what you think. Where is you Doctrate where YOU can make medical calls? YOUR the one whom basically in few words said Im a bad mother I was GIVING you background of what I have done until YOU have been in my shoes YOU can not and should not judge YOUR post makes some think you coddle the boy which is not good for him just saying


Quoting JeremysMom:

No one said anything about you not having sole custody, being on welfare, or called your parenting skills into question at all. I am not sure why you ate getting so upset. I guess it's because you can call out another mom for using her best judgement and what she thinks is best for her kids but since she uses daycare she is a horrible mom(in your opinion). But if someone calls you out, you get your panties in a wad. If you are going to dish it out, you better be able to take it as well. YOU are the only one here calling other people names. If you hate CM that much, then I think it is time to step away from the computer and seek professional help. Youay want to consider anger management classes as well. I am not saying this to be a bitch. It's not healthy to have that amount of anger over someone's decision to put their child in daycare.



Quoting Sat.Wed:

I ALWAYS put my kids first thats why I have SOLE custody of them and I WORK and support them I am NOT on welfare never have, My family watches my kids after school on thursdays and fridays and from 1245pm until 1200am when I get home from work on Saturdays and Sundays and take my childern to see their sperm donar for his SUPERVISED 4 hours on Sunday (thats what EX wanted) I CHOOSE to NOT have my childern in daycare where they will be abused or bullied so you can back the hell off bitch BOTH my childern are behaved and I am currently getting them ready for Private school that I am PAYING for because Public School would NOT follow dd's IEP AND ds was being bullied and DRAGGED across the playground and BEATEN sorry that does NOT fly with me






Quoting Chelsey191:

wow how offended you are by the fact i put my child first and want the best for him. I wonder why that is?








Quoting Sat.Wed:

BOO f**king hoo, I CANT be a sahm.either BUT then again MY kids have NEVER been to daycare and YOU did NOT state that in your reply dont you f**king bite MY head off for YOUR shortcomings of a "mother"










Quoting Chelsey191:

She said she took them upstairs for a spanking. I dont give a rats ass if she spanked her kids but while my kid was present, hell no. I do not want my child in that sort of atmosphere where he would be afraid he is next. And yes when it comes to leaving my child in the care of someone else who i dont know, i am very judgemental. Its bad enough i could not afford to be a sahm mom the least i could do was make sure ds is in the best place possible.












Quoting Sat.Wed:

WOW judgemental much? did she SPECIFICALY say she took them upstairs to spank? or are you ASSumeing? did it EVER cross your mind she possiably took her kids upstairs because she used their rms for time out?














Quoting Chelsey191:

I interviewed 16 different dayhomes when I had to go back to work. I went to one and when I asked her about discipline she said time outs but she takes her kids upstairs. As in she takes them up for a spanking. I did not even bother asking her the rest of my interview questions, that was enough for me to know my son would never go there. I think if other kids there know whats going on they could be afraid they are next and I dont want my son to be terrified of the person watching him all day.








laparla
by on Jul. 26, 2012 at 2:32 PM

It's legal.  It may not be socially correct, but would you prefer she leaves the other kids unattended to go and discipline her own child?  That would be a lot worse.

EvilQueenMommy
by Bronze Member on Jul. 26, 2012 at 4:02 PM

Where did you go to school? It must be regional or a private school? I'm 28 and there was never spanking in any school I went to.

Quoting mommy2b39465:

yeah I don't think there's anything illegal about it. Maybe unethical for that profession, but nothing more.She really should treat all the children equally. 

At my elementary and middle school (I'm 26, so probably these rules are somewhat outdated, lol), each parent signed a release form at the beginning of the year, stating whether their child was allowed to be spanked or not. I believe every child there was allowed to be spanked, except for one, where the girl apparently had a bruise on her butt from being spanked. Mom flipped, and no teacher was allowed to spank her daughter after that. 


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EvilQueenMommy
by Bronze Member on Jul. 26, 2012 at 4:05 PM

I know you were talking to someone else, but I'm in WV and our own kids count as ratio here.

Quoting melisawoosley:

Idk where they live but here if you open a home center you can have so many children plus your kids meaning your own children do not count within the ratio.

Quoting AnakaAlisyn:

Why should it make a difference where they are?  He still counts in the ratio for the number of children she is allowed to watch.  If she didn't have him, she would have space for one more kid, which means more money.  So he is part of the day care.  


Quoting vwd_johnson:

I don't think the daycare hours matter whatsoever. She is still a mom during their daycare hours. She just so happens to have a "job" where her son can be present, whether its in her home, or whatever. Her son is not there for childcare, the other kids are, her child is there because he is her son. Whatever a mother choses, to spank or not spank, does not affect how she treats her "clients" so to speak.



If she worked AT a daycare facility & her son was there with her as a paying participant, I would say no, she could not spank her son.



But this is different



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EvilQueenMommy
by Bronze Member on Jul. 26, 2012 at 4:12 PM

It's probably legal, but check if you are worried. I would not leave my son there though. My sil hits her daughter, my niece, so she is never babysitting my son.

EsmeVincent
by Bronze Member on Jul. 26, 2012 at 4:51 PM
This

Quoting terramarie:

I don't think there is a law against it. He is HER child. Spanking isn't illegal. She legally can't touch a child who is not hers. It doesn't seem like she is breaking any laws, just disciplining her child.
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