Discipline Advice

I would choose "A". If my 6 yo was acting like that she wouldn't get to do anything fun for awhile. I know it's hard to be consistent and to stick to your guns but it will be worth it in the long run. Good luck momma and hang in there.

 (Long-get ready). Get poster boards. Ok you need to make 10 family rules that are clear and concise. Do not put behave, put what you expect her to do in your home. If you use - be respectful, explain that in () underneath.

Next make a routine (do not break routine if you dont have to) examples: 6am wake up, 6:30a breakfast, 6:45a brush teeth, wash face, get dressed, 7:10a daycare etc - use illustrations or magazine cut outs.

Next have a chore list for her: Put dirty clothes into laundry basket, pick up toys when you are done playing with them, do not have items on your floor that do not belong there, if you take toys/books to family room or living room put them back where they belong.

Use time out for punishment 6 minutes have a designated place (this will take weeks or a few months to "sink in". Do not let her wiggle, get up or talk during the 6 min time out, if she does explain to her the timer will be reset again and u will do that until she sits still. *If you dont have timer use microwave or oven - with a ding she can hear* 

Also there is another way of discipline - let her know you will tell her one time not to do what it is you dont want her doing. The next step you will take her and both of you remove all toys from her room, family room and living room and she will help you place them in clean garbage bag or toy bin - these will be placed in yalls room for one whole day/night. Then in the am after she wakes up she can get them back with good behavior. Only leave books she can not tear up, and learning activity books.

Good Luck!

You blame your inlaws on her being a spoiled brat, you are the parent if my inlaws were to even try to spoil my daughter she wouldn't get to spend time with them.  I had rules for my daughter and I expected her grandparents to stick to the rules as well.  Her grandfather was the worst and yes indeed I did yell at him when he would try and usurp my authority  My ex MIL was great and I have always appreciated that she would refer to me if there was a question.  

Discipline has to be consistent and it may be boring for you and her but she has to learn there are no expectation to the rules , period.

Grounding doesn't really work, see how miserable you are  The damage has already been done, she is spoiled, now you have to use damage control.  If she has a computer, television, game system unplug them all, if they are in her room take them out of her room and don't put them back until she is old enough to purchase her own and does so or she moves out and gets her own.  Then start setting rules and letting her know exactly what they are and exactly what you expect of her and that there will be consequences for all of her actions good or bad.  If she wants television time, time on the computer or with video games make her earn them by following the rules.  You determine how much time she can have, I limited my daughter to an hour after school and a couple of hours on Saturday.  She didn't have a television or computer until she was almost 18 years old.  I monitored and supervised all of her online time because she had to use my computer and she had to have me to get her on the Internet because I pass worded the connection.  She was rewarded  greatly and didn't earn privileges as well.  I was Assistant Leader of her Girl Scout Troop and while I went along on the trip to an amusement/water park she missed out because of her behavior.  When she talked back to me I'd ignore her for the rest of the day.  My point in that is if you can't give me the respect to follow my rules in my home  and you talk so nasty to me I can't give you the respect to listen to you when you want something from me.  My daughter got bored once, I handed her a dust rag and funiture polish pointed to all the wood furniture in the living room and told her to go to work.   

I blame me too, absolutely!! Isn't it hard thoough, to keep your child away from the in laws? I mean, they are her family. . . and mine. It has been a LONG, rough road for me in that department. They used to give me that dismissive wave and almost laugh at me and say "Oh, it's fine!! You're being too hard on her" or "You're being over-protective" and "I raised (insert name here) and he/she turned out fine, don't worry about it".

I, like you, had a huge yelling match with the worst offender. I told her and her hubby that the kids they raised DID NOT turn out fine. I pointed out their selfishness, inability to communicate, impulsivity issues, and inability to express emotion in a healthy manner. I was retorted with "Whoever raised you did a horrible job!!" and my mother had just passed. . .my father passed when I was teenager so I responded with "Get The FUCK out of here, NOW!! You will not see my daughter again!" and I booted two elderly people off of my property. I told them I did not care how old anybody is, disprespect begets disprespect.

It was almost 8 months before I allowed them to see her again, and while away from them her behavior was AMAZING!!! I allowed them to see her once a week, though they wanted much, much more. See, with my family gone the in laws are all the family my daughter has, and me for that matter. After a LONG, hard road we have all come to an understanding and we get along much better but they all strongly believe that kids should be left to do whatever they want, eat whatever they want, etc., and I completely disagree with that. I have 'trained' them to ask me before giving her anything and they do it in front of my daughter, dangling the treat or toy the whole time. . . then I am the 'bad guy' but I have grown used to that and can handle it. 

Can I ask how you got your in laws to comply? Did you have to blow up on them or just have a heart-to-heart?

Quoting CoeyG:

You blame your inlaws on her being a spoiled brat, you are the parent if my inlaws were to even try to spoil my daughter she wouldn't get to spend time with them.  I had rules for my daughter and I expected her grandparents to stick to the rules as well.  Her grandfather was the worst and yes indeed I did yell at him when he would try and usurp my authority  My ex MIL was great and I have always appreciated that she would refer to me if there was a question.  

Thank you for the concise & detailed feedback!! I appreciate it, and I will definitely get on this. I just described a chart to my daughter with rewards & consequences and she is EXCITED!! She ran in and cleaned her room!! LOL!! 

Your idea is a great one! I will keep you updated on the progress. Thank you so much

Quoting angie2568:

 (Long-get ready). Get poster boards. Ok you need to make 10 family rules that are clear and concise. Do not put behave, put what you expect her to do in your home. If you use - be respectful, explain that in () underneath.

Next make a routine (do not break routine if you dont have to) examples: 6am wake up, 6:30a breakfast, 6:45a brush teeth, wash face, get dressed, 7:10a daycare etc - use illustrations or magazine cut outs.

Next have a chore list for her: Put dirty clothes into laundry basket, pick up toys when you are done playing with them, do not have items on your floor that do not belong there, if you take toys/books to family room or living room put them back where they belong.

Use time out for punishment 6 minutes have a designated place (this will take weeks or a few months to "sink in". Do not let her wiggle, get up or talk during the 6 min time out, if she does explain to her the timer will be reset again and u will do that until she sits still. *If you dont have timer use microwave or oven - with a ding she can hear* 

Also there is another way of discipline - let her know you will tell her one time not to do what it is you dont want her doing. The next step you will take her and both of you remove all toys from her room, family room and living room and she will help you place them in clean garbage bag or toy bin - these will be placed in yalls room for one whole day/night. Then in the am after she wakes up she can get them back with good behavior. Only leave books she can not tear up, and learning activity books.

REWARDS Reward your child with privileges, praise, or activities, rather than with food or toys. Change rewards frequently. Kids get bored if the reward is always the same. Make a chart with points or stars awarded for good behavior, so your child has a visual reminder of his or her successes. Immediate rewards work better than the promise of a future reward, but small rewards leading to a big one can also work. Always follow through with a reward.

CONSEQUENCES Consequences should be spelled out in advance and occur immediately after your child has misbehaved. Try time-outs and the removal of privileges as consequences for misbehavior. Remove your child from situations and environments that trigger inappropriate behavior. When your child misbehaves, ask what he or she could have done instead. Then have your child demonstrate it. Always follow through with a consequence.

Good Luck!

I would choose A.  A life lesson is worth missing a family function.  There will be other birthday parties.

Stay home....unless you want to make yourself miserable at a party, and have everyone telling you to let her 'get up' from her punishment.....and enforce to her that the family is staying home due to HER punishment, now the whole family has to suffer because of her.  If you don't nip this in the bud now, it will get much worse, with her making even worse choices, because she knows someone, somewhere, will back her, regardless of what she's done.