My kiddo turns 5 at the end of next month. Her father and I split after he attacked me and he just got out of prison on Monday for that charge among others. He is legally prohibited from all contact with her. Here is my question. I don't know what to do about his family for her party. In the 2 years since the incident they haven't had an awful lot to do with her. Occasional phone contact and occasional supervised visits. The first party since he was forbidden contact (her 3rd) only his mother bothered to show. Last year the family did show up and were cordial. Unfortunately now that he has out they have gone back to their games and I am concerned about what may happen if I invite them since he is now back in town. He has admitted to having me stalked before. They have tried to have me falsely arrested before and made countless false reports to CPS. These antics stopped when he went to prison and now that he's out again are starting. Should I invite his family (obviously he can't be there himself nor can he legally send gifts which is a sore point for them) and hope that they won't cause problems or should I just forgo it and just keep it at my family. I just don't know.
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on Aug. 4, 2012 at 9:46 PM
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Gold Member
on Aug. 4, 2012 at 9:53 PM
personally id keep it just ur family so if anything does happen ur five year olds birthday isnt ruined. sorry tough situation
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on Aug. 4, 2012 at 9:56 PM
Given the circumstances I don't see why you would want to risk having them there.
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Silver Member
on Aug. 4, 2012 at 10:01 PM
Agree with all above. just invite ppl ur daughter will have fun with. its about her. not u, him or his family. my sons first birthdays, I invited my whole family. His last birthday (5)? I only invited his favorite cousins amd friends which were like 20 and he had more fun than the first four. your daughter rarely spends time with them..so why bother?
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Silver Member
on Aug. 4, 2012 at 10:42 PM
I wouldn't invite them, it sounds like they would cause problems and you don't want that at your dd's party
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Bronze Member
on Aug. 5, 2012 at 4:01 AM
I wouldn't invite them. If you do they'll tell him where and when. And if he's as big of a stupid ass, and as angry as you say, his dumb ass will show up and then you'll have to have him arrested and that will be more trauma to the child... Dangerous if you ask me!
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on Aug. 5, 2012 at 4:55 AM
That's my biggest fear about the entire deal. I hate to exclude them since she loves them, but I want it to be a happy day without drama for her.
Quoting elzmnsf:
I wouldn't invite them. If you do they'll tell him where and when. And if he's as big of a stupid ass, and as angry as you say, his dumb ass will show up and then you'll have to have him arrested and that will be more trauma to the child... Dangerous if you ask me!
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Bronze Member
on Aug. 5, 2012 at 5:06 AM
I totally get that. And while he was locked up and they were being reasonable, then they were good to have around. But you have said that their previous antics have started up again since his release, and that proves where their loyalty lies. It's with him, the crazy that attacked you, not with your child who deserves a peaceful childhood... We have to do the right thing for our kids, even when it is hard. I believe you will do the right thing for your baby, even if it sucks and is hard. I will pray for you to keep having the incredible strength you have shown thus far. You know what you have to do...
Quoting Cpdsptchgrl:
That's my biggest fear about the entire deal. I hate to exclude them since she loves them, but I want it to be a happy day without drama for her.
Quoting elzmnsf:
I wouldn't invite them. If you do they'll tell him where and when. And if he's as big of a stupid ass, and as angry as you say, his dumb ass will show up and then you'll have to have him arrested and that will be more trauma to the child... Dangerous if you ask me!
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on Aug. 5, 2012 at 5:10 AM
It sucks that they even put me in this position. I of course will be made to be the bad guy, but that's no change so whatever. Just once I wish they could put their pettiness aside for her. It isn't like I enjoyed having those asses in my home...but for the sake of DD I plastered a smile on my face and did it. Blows my mind how grown adults can behave this way. I'll never understand it.
This year will just have to be different. They have to prove to me they can and will put her first. So far they are failing miserably.
This year will just have to be different. They have to prove to me they can and will put her first. So far they are failing miserably.
Quoting elzmnsf:
I totally get that. And while he was locked up and they were being reasonable, then they were good to have around. But you have said that their previous antics have started up again since his release, and that proves where their loyalty lies. It's with him, the crazy that attacked you, not with your child who deserves a peaceful childhood... We have to do the right thing for our kids, even when it is hard. I believe you will do the right thing for your baby, even if it sucks and is hard. I will pray for you to keep having the incredible strength you have shown thus far. You know what you have to do...
Quoting Cpdsptchgrl:
That's my biggest fear about the entire deal. I hate to exclude them since she loves them, but I want it to be a happy day without drama for her.
Quoting elzmnsf:
I wouldn't invite them. If you do they'll tell him where and when. And if he's as big of a stupid ass, and as angry as you say, his dumb ass will show up and then you'll have to have him arrested and that will be more trauma to the child... Dangerous if you ask me!
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She's cheating on him
- Cpdsptchgrl
on Aug. 4, 2012 at 9:46 PM