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Please tell me that this is a normal feeling *eta*

Posted by on Aug. 6, 2012 at 5:39 PM
  • 13 Replies

My son is a month old. I EBF.

My son eats every 2 hours around the clock.

I love my son and I know how important bfing is and I wouldn't change it for anything in the world.

About a week ago, during the day, I would bf my son and then he would end up falling asleep on my boob.

so he doesn't get a full feeding but i don't wake him and i will put him down to let him sleep. 1/2 later he'll wake up and be hungry.

So......I changed it. He would fall asleep on my boob, not getting a full feeding and then i would try to wake him up. i would tickle his foot, rub his belly, play with him or lay him down and he wouldn't wake up.

or he'll feed, but won't get a full feeding and then he'll stop. he won't fall asleep but he'll smile at me and then just stay awake.

so my point i'm trying to get at it. i feel like he's constantly on my boob. it is starting to drive me crazy because i don't get any "me" time.

he use to sleep every 2 hours and now he doesn't. um.....well.....i should say, depending on whether or not he gets a full feeding. if he gets a full feeding then he'll sleep for 2 hours but if he doesn't get a full feeding then he'll sleep for about a 1/2 hour.

it starts to drive me crazy because i just want some time where i don't have to breastfeed for more than 2 hours. or just have some me time.

i'm having mixed feelings. i love, love bfing bc i know it's the best for my son but at the same time i don't like it bc i feel like he's attached to me all day and night long. i just want some time where i don't have to worry about breastfeeding.

i want some alone time. it's driving me crazy and i'm starting to show my frustration and my SO and I are starting to fight over it.

like last night i slammed something in the kitchen just because i was completely frustrated with feeling like my son is attached to my boob constantly. and my SO got upset with me bc i slammed something.

is this a normal feeling?

eta: please help me explain this to my SO. he says that he's trying to support me and try to understand what i'm going through but i don't know how to explain this to him.

by on Aug. 6, 2012 at 5:39 PM
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by on Aug. 6, 2012 at 5:53 PM
Yes it is normal. A newborn will do that. You just have to try waking him up and making sure he eats enough. DD was like that for the longest time. I luckily had my parents to take her for a few hours with milk I pumped. Gave me the "me time" I needed desperately. This is going to be a rough time when it comes to breastfeeding and around 4 months or so they have growth spurts. Those are never fun either. It is frustrating and I don't know if a man will ever understand unless they are in our shoes for the week lol.
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by on Aug. 6, 2012 at 5:56 PM
While I didn't BF, I'm sure that's a normal feeling. Just keep telling herself that he will only be a newborn/baby for so long.
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by on Aug. 6, 2012 at 8:27 PM

With my oldest - I swear he fed for 20 minutes EVERY 20 minutes. Yes, it was exhausting. After his first check up, his doctor said that if he falls asleep he's full at that moment, but because he wakes up so often, he recommended giving him a little rice cereal in his milk for his 2nd feeding. I pumped and added it to my milk - OMG WHAT A HUGE DIFFERENCE!!!!! He finally got full and would actually sleep for hours... I did a happy dance. LOL

As to what to say to your DH.. When You are somewhat calm - explain to him that you are still hormonal, you are completely exhausted from constantly getting up, you are sleep deprived, and frustrated. Ask him to please be aware that until you get your hormones under control and are able to get some sleep that he will need to bare with you. If your doc recommends the rice/milk - I would also have him do the 2nd feeding - all night long - every night.. 

by Member on Aug. 6, 2012 at 8:31 PM
What's "me time?" :/ wish I could have me time!
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by Bronze Member on Aug. 6, 2012 at 9:03 PM
I know how you feel...have you tried pumping and giving him a bottle? Thats what I have had to do with dd cause thats how I was feeling and I was snapping at everyone.
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by on Aug. 6, 2012 at 9:05 PM

I have not looked at any other response, so this may have been suggested already, or not.

Time your b/f on each side. Start out by 5 minutes. So, say you start on your right breast first...time it for five minutes, break his suction and burp him, etc. Then, move him to the left - time it - 5 minutes, then break suction and burp. Keep doing this until you feel that he's full. If he can nurse 10 minutes without falling asleep do the 10 minutes versus the 5 minutes, and then switch. Just don't let him fall asleep before you think he's full.

Good luck mama!

by on Aug. 6, 2012 at 9:30 PM

Your SO doesn't have boobs so he will never really understand. You both need to educate yourselves on how breast feeding works so that he can support you. If you don't want to bf at the moment you can always have him hold, carry bounce cuddle the baby and you can take a walk, get your nails done, take a bath (and send him for a walk so he can't just hand the baby back to you the second he makes a peep.) Needing a break is normal and so is your son's feeding pattern.  At your son's age the dont eat more than a few oz and they digest it quickly. As hard as it is right now he's training your body to produce enough milk to supply him when he starts going longer between feedings. I went through this exactly with my second dd. (my oldest tended to cluster feed in the evening and I got some sleep and down time in the morning.) I found undressing her helped perk her up and make her stay away a little longer. 

by on Aug. 6, 2012 at 11:47 PM
1 mom liked this

group hugHang in there it WILL get better!!!

by Amber on Aug. 7, 2012 at 1:12 AM
Yes feelings of all kinds are normal.

Do be sure with your doc there's no ppd issues.

I can assure you it'll be more frustrating to make bottles, buy formula, etc.

Try to take the time to enjoy this. I am just now feeling adjusted and normal, my kids are 4&6. Get it? Being a mom is what it is.

Your baby doesn't love anyone like they do you. Give it back. :)
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by on Aug. 7, 2012 at 2:16 AM
What's me time... I have 3 kids I don't have me time. Everything that your baby is doing is normal. I have 3 mth old she is always on my boob. Sometimes it drives me batty but I know breastfeeding is what's best and as a mom I want to give her the best start in life.
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