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Absolute potty REFUSAL! ack!

Posted by on Aug. 12, 2012 at 9:14 PM
  • 14 Replies

DD2(37months) will not go on the potty. She sits on it only if I put her there, otherwise she will whine and fit and want nothing to do with it.  

She knows what she is suppose to do. She will tell you where potty and poopy goes. She is not scared of the toilet, and likes to flush her poopy down the toilet. She will even pee on command if its in an easy up! I have done all of the sticker charts, candy treats, special outings, new toy, ....everything!! She doesn't care for that stuff and will just brush it off and tell me she doesn't want that. Today we tried to bribe her and tell her Daddy would buy her a puppy or a kitty!!(super glad that didnt work!! LOL) She just will not go.

Today she was in her big girl undies all day and just simply holds her potty, ALL DAY. I gave in this afternoon and stuck an easy up on her so she would pee. She hadn't peed since the night before so she held out for 19 hours!!! wtH! Has anybody else been through potty refusal or withholding?! Tell me what to do and I will....I am way done with this potty business stuff! 


surrender

EDIT:I'd prefer responses from people who have dealt with potty training REFUSAL. If you haven't dealt with refusal then you just don't understand, and thats okay, but it's not as easy as a child who wants to train. 

by on Aug. 12, 2012 at 9:14 PM
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Replies (1-10):
angie2568
by on Aug. 12, 2012 at 9:27 PM

 Yes.

With my daughter who is now 14 not my boys they were both fully potty trained at 18 months old. (8 & 4 now). My daughter didnt like it, she wore panties with the plastic pants over it, so eventually she stopped refusing. She would hold it until she peed in her pants and she was punished each time. I never did the chart or rewards - potty wasnt a choice; you do it bc I say so to get rid of diapers and move on to Big kid things...

But the 19 hrs that is dangerous and could damage bladder & kidneys. I would call the doctor and schedule an appointment.

Good Luck.

frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Aug. 12, 2012 at 9:28 PM

DD was that way as well.  For some reason or another she was not ready.  We offered a pillow pet as an incentive.  We never did the pull ups or easy ups since dd struggled getting out of them to start with.  We started with the cheap diapers and when she needed to go potty put one on her to go and then back into panties.  She then made the decision on her own to use her potty chair for all peeing.  We then put diapers on for when she had to poo, transitioned into using potty chair and her emptying that compartment into toilet and helping wash it out. Within a week of this method, she was pooping on big toilet with the help of a potty seat since her rear end was too small for the toilet.  DD wasnt trained until 3 months before 5th birthday.   I know many may disagree with this but it was not worth the stress and battling her will / emotional readiness to get her to train earlier.  We did try from age 3 on with no success.

GOBryan
by on Aug. 12, 2012 at 9:54 PM
1 mom liked this

Yep. I had to fight it out with my daughter and my son. With my son, I had to hide all the diapers. He would look for that magical diaper and when he finally didn't find it, he finally sat on the potty and did it. Never looked back after that. #1 was about sitting him on the potty and waiting it out an hour until he went. #2 took a few days until he couldn't hold it anymore. Then he sat on the potty.

With my daughter, I had to make her sit on the potty and battle for about an hour until she finally went. #2 was the same and took a few days because she was capable of doing it on the floor but we knew her poop time and made her sit scream, yell, throw a fit until she finally went. 

You can't give up. If it takes two hours, then you need to sit there with her for two hours until she goes. Most parents just give up and that only makes it harder. 

CoeyG
by on Aug. 12, 2012 at 9:56 PM

Never ever, ever, ever use an animal as a bribe to get your children to do something!  Pets are not to be used as payment for a child behaving, pets should only be gotten when the entire family wants to share it's home with a pet, a family that will give the pet love and attention not use the pet as a bribe.  

You are the one who started the problem with those "easy ups" , those or "pull ups" are the worst thing a parent could get on their kids.  When you run out don't purchase anymore.  Let her know that there are no more, And you put her on the toilet...you don't ask her, you don't give her an option.    By letting her decide you have put her in control so she doesn't want to do it.  

stacy2607
by Silver Member on Aug. 12, 2012 at 10:10 PM
My DD Alyssa will be 3 at the end of September.. And she wants nothing to do with the potty.. She is my 7 th of 9 children, I have learned that they will go when they are ready.. The more it's forced, the more they refuse.
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bbyslynn
by on Aug. 12, 2012 at 10:16 PM

I do put her there...and she doesn't go. As for the easy ups, I cant have her peeing/pooping on my carpet since I am trying to sell my home so it's either those or rubber pants which do not fit her because she's too tiny for them. So it is what it is.

As for the pets... calm down geez! We have been planning on getting a new pet but are trying to wait until we are into a bigger house.  Any pets we have, we keep and care for, and love them all the same so do not assume that we would not do those things because we move up the date on getting one as a "bribe". 

Quoting CoeyG:

Never ever, ever, ever use an animal as a bribe to get your children to do something!  Pets are not to be used as payment for a child behaving, pets should only be gotten when the entire family wants to share it's home with a pet, a family that will give the pet love and attention not use the pet as a bribe.  

You are the one who started the problem with those "easy ups" , those or "pull ups" are the worst thing a parent could get on their kids.  When you run out don't purchase anymore.  Let her know that there are no more, And you put her on the toilet...you don't ask her, you don't give her an option.    By letting her decide you have put her in control so she doesn't want to do it.  


bbmkfo03
by on Aug. 12, 2012 at 10:21 PM
2 moms liked this

 

Quoting stacy2607:

My DD Alyssa will be 3 at the end of September.. And she wants nothing to do with the potty.. She is my 7 th of 9 children, I have learned that they will go when they are ready.. The more it's forced, the more they refuse.

 I agree with this. Potty training my DD was so easy b/c I waited until she was 100% ready, i.e. showed interest in the potty, asked to use the potty & used it with success 2-3 times, this was over several months time span. I put her in undies and we never looked back, by day 3 she had 0 accidents. Pull ups/easy ups are the worst. Throw them away and only use undies. If she's really ready she'll hate the way she feels all wet in undies. If she could care less then she's not ready yet.

CoeyG
by on Aug. 12, 2012 at 10:43 PM


Quoting bbyslynn:

I do put her there...and she doesn't go. As for the easy ups, I cant have her peeing/pooping on my carpet since I am trying to sell my home so it's either those or rubber pants which do not fit her because she's too tiny for them. So it is what it is.

As for the pets... calm down geez! We have been planning on getting a new pet but are trying to wait until we are into a bigger house.  Any pets we have, we keep and care for, and love them all the same so do not assume that we would not do those things because we move up the date on getting one as a "bribe". 

Quoting CoeyG:

Never ever, ever, ever use an animal as a bribe to get your children to do something!  Pets are not to be used as payment for a child behaving, pets should only be gotten when the entire family wants to share it's home with a pet, a family that will give the pet love and attention not use the pet as a bribe.  

You are the one who started the problem with those "easy ups" , those or "pull ups" are the worst thing a parent could get on their kids.  When you run out don't purchase anymore.  Let her know that there are no more, And you put her on the toilet...you don't ask her, you don't give her an option.    By letting her decide you have put her in control so she doesn't want to do it.  


So  she isn't potty trained and you take her out of diapers...okay have it your way...make that, she's having it her way...

And no I will not calm down when it comes to using animals as a bribe.  So what will you be bribing her with when she is in college...an elephant?

bbmkfo03
by on Aug. 12, 2012 at 10:50 PM

 If you don't have the time to pick up after messes (b/c there will be accidents....she will be in training after all) then maybe now isn't the best time for either of you to begin training.

ETA: I had to spend about 1 week at home with her just doing the training.  I used the 3-5 day method and in order for it to be successful you need to have nothing else going on so you can be home and devote your time to this. It is time consuming but when she's ready it will be a breeze!

Quoting bbyslynn:

I do put her there...and she doesn't go. As for the easy ups, I cant have her peeing/pooping on my carpet since I am trying to sell my home so it's either those or rubber pants which do not fit her because she's too tiny for them. So it is what it is.

As for the pets... calm down geez! We have been planning on getting a new pet but are trying to wait until we are into a bigger house.  Any pets we have, we keep and care for, and love them all the same so do not assume that we would not do those things because we move up the date on getting one as a "bribe". 

Quoting CoeyG:

Never ever, ever, ever use an animal as a bribe to get your children to do something!  Pets are not to be used as payment for a child behaving, pets should only be gotten when the entire family wants to share it's home with a pet, a family that will give the pet love and attention not use the pet as a bribe.  

You are the one who started the problem with those "easy ups" , those or "pull ups" are the worst thing a parent could get on their kids.  When you run out don't purchase anymore.  Let her know that there are no more, And you put her on the toilet...you don't ask her, you don't give her an option.    By letting her decide you have put her in control so she doesn't want to do it.  

 

 

Nicholy10
by Bronze Member on Aug. 12, 2012 at 10:54 PM

My son is 35 months, and absolutely refuses potty too. He just pees/poos all over himself. He will only sit on the potty if made to, and won't go at all. He's only pooed on the potty 2 times EVER and he's peed some on the potty but rarely. He mostly he wears diapers, but we have pull-ups for him to wear when he goes to preschool (diapers embarass him there). He still won't potty on the potty. I don't think he's ready though. He has a sensory processing disorder though, and the therapist said not to push too hard. So we started trying at 12 months, he wasn't ready so we took a break tried again at 18 months, 22 months, 24 months, 30 months, and on/off this entire summer, but he's just not ready. 

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