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My husband never locks any doors. What to do??

Posted by on Aug. 13, 2012 at 6:58 AM
  • 190 Replies
We have been married for 9 years and this has been an issue the whole time. I've talked to him about it over and over, and he always promises he will lock the doors. He never does. My house was burglarized growing up and I have explained this to him, and how I am concerned about the safety of our kids. I am always having to check up after he leaves and it is getting exhausting. This morning he left for a business trip at 4 a.m. and I had a feeling, so I woke up and sure enough not only was the door leading to be garage unlocked but he garage itself was wide open. He has done this countless times and I am at my wits end. Don't know what to do. Advice?
by on Aug. 13, 2012 at 6:58 AM
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Replies (1-10):
CreziaMommyTo2
by on Aug. 13, 2012 at 7:07 AM
19 moms liked this

if he hasnt changed in 9 years he isnt going to change now...

beco8627
by Bronze Member on Aug. 13, 2012 at 7:11 AM
16 moms liked this
Its pretty ridiculous, but before you go to bed write out a few post it notes. On the door leading to outside, write "lock the door!" Stick it right on the handle (use tape if it won't stick. Then on his steering wheel, right where he needs to put his hands (not on the horn part) write "close the garage door!" Yea, he should know to do these things and it sounds like your teaching a child by using post its, but whatever makes you feel safe right? Maybe after using the post its a few times, he will start to train his brain to remember on his own
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prdmama1154
by Bronze Member on Aug. 13, 2012 at 7:18 AM
4 moms liked this
I like the post it idea. I had to make my husband put sunscreen on before his fishing trips because he would come home red as a lobster. I put full sized paper notes everywhere. On the bedroom door, on the shower knob, on the fridge, in his cooler, in his tackle box, on his steering wheel and on his back window so he would see it in the rearview mirror. It was an obnoxious amount of reminders but it made my point.
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beco8627
by Bronze Member on Aug. 13, 2012 at 7:24 AM
3 moms liked this
Exactly. You don't want to treat the hub like a child, but men just don't think sometimes! I have no qualms about leaving reminder notes everywhere...at least I'm not exhausting myself by verbally reminding him about certain things every 5 min.


Quoting prdmama1154:

I like the post it idea. I had to make my husband put sunscreen on before his fishing trips because he would come home red as a lobster. I put full sized paper notes everywhere. On the bedroom door, on the shower knob, on the fridge, in his cooler, in his tackle box, on his steering wheel and on his back window so he would see it in the rearview mirror. It was an obnoxious amount of reminders but it made my point.

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Megan11587
by Bronze Member on Aug. 13, 2012 at 7:38 AM
3 moms liked this

 My dh was the same way.  Finally, when he would come back to bed everynight, I would ask him if he locked the doors.  This went on for about a month, and now he does it without being asked.

AlanaLauren
by on Aug. 13, 2012 at 7:52 AM
I think I will try the post it idea. The problem is that he always argues about it wih me when I ask him to do it. He tells me about how safe our neighborhood is and everything. It almost seems like he is trying to prove a point rather than just simply doing it because I feel safer. Otherwise I feel that he wouldn't argue about it, but that he would just say "oops, so sorry I forgot" or something.
mjande4
by on Aug. 13, 2012 at 9:06 AM
7 moms liked this

My thought, as I read this is, if I had wanted another child I would have had one.  You knew this was a quirk BEFORE you married him.  Stop trying to change him and adjust yourself.  It's not his issue, it's yours.  I know that sounds harsh, but I live it too.  My husband is JUST like this and frankly we've been married 20 years and I accept the good with the bad/annoying.  He is not going to change, it's me that has to adjust.

atlmom2
by Platinum Member on Aug. 13, 2012 at 9:09 AM
I am a person that leaves doors unlocked. I grew up never locking doors though.
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atlmom2
by Platinum Member on Aug. 13, 2012 at 9:11 AM
2 moms liked this
You need to get over it or lock the doors behind him and stop nagging.
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Alison_C
by Bronze Member on Aug. 13, 2012 at 9:30 AM
2 moms liked this
My husband was like that. He even refused to carry a house key since, in his mind, the door should never be locked. He got locked out a few times and would call yelling and expecting me to come straight home to let him in. It took that, a neighbor's house getting broken into, and a few things getting stolen from our proch for him to finally get it.

Oddly, my dad is the same way about locking the doors. If my mom confronts him, he leaves everything unlocked to prove how safe it is. We had someone go through all our cars, leaving all the doors and trunks open, when I was in high school, and he still won't lock them. He says he doesn't lock the car because if someone wanted to steal it, they won't damage it trying to get in.

You need to stand firm about locking the door, and I think the Post-it idea would help you, too.
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