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bad relationship?

Posted by on Aug. 14, 2012 at 1:05 PM
  • 19 Replies
has anyone ever been in a bad relationship but stuck it out for the kids and it got better?
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by on Aug. 14, 2012 at 1:05 PM
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Replies (1-10):
LiesLiesLies
by on Aug. 14, 2012 at 1:06 PM
No.

I would never be in a bad relationship.
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CrazyLife1996
by on Aug. 14, 2012 at 1:07 PM
No
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beco8627
by Bronze Member on Aug. 14, 2012 at 1:10 PM
Every relationship goes through ups and downs...even to the point of considering it a "bad relationship" at times...but you should never think "I'm gonna stick to this just for the kids." You should be saying "I'm gonna stick to this because I want it to work." That's why there is marriage counseling if need be. I believe that every relationship will work if you make it work. If you were once in love, then you can fall in love with the same person all over again
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luvnmykids1824
by on Aug. 14, 2012 at 1:57 PM

my husband and i have been through so much together.some things are really hard to get passed.and i want to stick it out for the kids but also because i still feel love for him.i just hope we can be 100% happy together one day.

Quoting beco8627:

Every relationship goes through ups and downs...even to the point of considering it a "bad relationship" at times...but you should never think "I'm gonna stick to this just for the kids." You should be saying "I'm gonna stick to this because I want it to work." That's why there is marriage counseling if need be. I believe that every relationship will work if you make it work. If you were once in love, then you can fall in love with the same person all over again


beco8627
by Bronze Member on Aug. 14, 2012 at 2:44 PM
1 mom liked this
Lol, there is no 100% happy when it comes to marriage/relationships. There will always be something that upsets you or gets on your nerves. The difference is in how you react.
Example: my husband and I have been together for 8 yrs, married for 5. After we had been together for 2 yrs he had an online affair. I read every single email...after that, he continued to deceive me for 2 more years. I had trust issues, insecurities, depression and anxiety. We had A LOT to move on from....fast forward to a year ago. I began individual therapy for myself, to work on MY emotional issues, then we got into couples therapy. We learned how to communicate, how to argue, how to compromise and I learned how to trust and completely, whole heartedly love him again.
I never said I was going to leave him, I knew I wasn't going to leave him because I knew we could get past it, if he learned to make changes, and I learned to make changes...which we did. The only thing we did for our kids in the process was to handle our shit privately...and we now have the best relationship we have ever had. We still disagree and argue. We just handle ourselves differently and healthier than we used to...which in turn is a lot better environment for our kids.
You have to make a choice that will benefit you and your family, but you never handle your relationship having only your children in the forefront of your mind. All they need is a healthy, happy environment; whether it be in both mommy and daddys house, or in a house that only has mommy and in a house that only has daddy. Know what I mean?


Quoting luvnmykids1824:

my husband and i have been through so much together.some things are really hard to get passed.and i want to stick it out for the kids but also because i still feel love for him.i just hope we can be 100% happy together one day.


Quoting beco8627:

Every relationship goes through ups and downs...even to the point of considering it a "bad relationship" at times...but you should never think "I'm gonna stick to this just for the kids." You should be saying "I'm gonna stick to this because I want it to work." That's why there is marriage counseling if need be. I believe that every relationship will work if you make it work. If you were once in love, then you can fall in love with the same person all over again



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CoeyG
by on Aug. 14, 2012 at 2:47 PM

I was going to but certain events made me change my mind.

jenniferlee_12
by on Aug. 14, 2012 at 2:59 PM

Every relationship has its ups and downs. Some days I wonder what they hell am I doing, but that is mostly when I have a lot of stress, no sleep, and stuff like that. I guess it depends on what you think is a bad relationship.

luvnmykids1824
by on Aug. 14, 2012 at 3:06 PM
When I said 100% what I ment was a relationship were we can trust and love 100%.I know we will have ups and downs but I just want to love and trust again so I can be happy.the same thing happend with my husband.when he was deployed we argued all the time because he thought I was cheating on him.come to find out he was talking to a few girls online saying I died or I cheated so he could seem like a single man! He would say he loved them and hated me and all kinds of stuff.he was even going to meet up with one when he got home.anyways when he came back home he got physical with me.we went to counseling and he went to anger managment.he has changed and I want to be happy and trust again.I just don't know how.


Quoting beco8627:

Lol, there is no 100% happy when it comes to marriage/relationships. There will always be something that upsets you or gets on your nerves. The difference is in how you react.

Example: my husband and I have been together for 8 yrs, married for 5. After we had been together for 2 yrs he had an online affair. I read every single email...after that, he continued to deceive me for 2 more years. I had trust issues, insecurities, depression and anxiety. We had A LOT to move on from....fast forward to a year ago. I began individual therapy for myself, to work on MY emotional issues, then we got into couples therapy. We learned how to communicate, how to argue, how to compromise and I learned how to trust and completely, whole heartedly love him again.

I never said I was going to leave him, I knew I wasn't going to leave him because I knew we could get past it, if he learned to make changes, and I learned to make changes...which we did. The only thing we did for our kids in the process was to handle our shit privately...and we now have the best relationship we have ever had. We still disagree and argue. We just handle ourselves differently and healthier than we used to...which in turn is a lot better environment for our kids.

You have to make a choice that will benefit you and your family, but you never handle your relationship having only your children in the forefront of your mind. All they need is a healthy, happy environment; whether it be in both mommy and daddys house, or in a house that only has mommy and in a house that only has daddy. Know what I mean?




Quoting luvnmykids1824:

my husband and i have been through so much together.some things are really hard to get passed.and i want to stick it out for the kids but also because i still feel love for him.i just hope we can be 100% happy together one day.



Quoting beco8627:

Every relationship goes through ups and downs...even to the point of considering it a "bad relationship" at times...but you should never think "I'm gonna stick to this just for the kids." You should be saying "I'm gonna stick to this because I want it to work." That's why there is marriage counseling if need be. I believe that every relationship will work if you make it work. If you were once in love, then you can fall in love with the same person all over again





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Mommy2justone
by Mommy2justtwo on Aug. 14, 2012 at 3:11 PM

My mother did. For 5.5 years. She thought we didn't see him hitting her and berating her, but we did. Fighting of any kind is never good for the children in the middle. 

luvnmykids1824
by on Aug. 14, 2012 at 3:17 PM
I agree.idk if you read but my husband was physical with me.he put his hands around my throat twice.he didn't choke me but it scared mw because I didn't know if he was going to.the anger has stopped.its been like 2 years.so its not something he always does.its something that happend when he came home from Iraq.so I'm just trying to move on.its just so hard.


Quoting Mommy2justone:

My mother did. For 5.5 years. She thought we didn't see him hitting her and berating her, but we did. Fighting of any kind is never good for the children in the middle. 


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