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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

Does my child really need a sibling?

I grew up an only child, and I always wanted a sibling.  My husband and I always planned to have two children pretty close together, but since having my son I often find myself thinking that having another child would be too much for me (I love my husband, and he is a good man, but when it comes to parenting he is really more like a teenage child himself rather than a responsible adult...he is great with our son, but most of the actual child rearing falls on me.)  I LOVE my son and my husband, and I LOVE our life together...I just don't want to take on more than I can handle, and I fear that bringing another child into the mix would be more than I'm capable of, so be honest...how crucial is it to really have another child?  If I get a dog and make sure my son has an active social circle of peers, could that just be enough?

by on Aug. 18, 2012 at 1:29 PM
Replies (21-26):
diamondsetter
by on Aug. 18, 2012 at 5:02 PM
I have yet to meet anyone IRL who has been happy growing up as an only child. That was the deciding factor for us to have at least 2.
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bpryce
by on Aug. 18, 2012 at 5:05 PM
I grew up with 3 siblings and so did my dh. Siblings are very important to us. Siblings are like a friend for life. Someone who will always be there for you no matter what, they know you and they understand where your coming from. My dh and i were raised knowing that our relationships with our siblings are more important than the relationship with our parents. Yes no body needs a sibling but i couldnt imagine a life without them, they are my support system and my best friends.

Do what you feel is best for your situation but believe me nothing bad can come out of having more than one child. And i personally have never met an only child who hasnt been selfish and felt entitled, even into adulthood (im not saying you are, thats just a trend ive noticed and a behavior i frown upon)
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lauriebash
by on Aug. 18, 2012 at 5:25 PM
1 mom liked this

You will find that everyone is going to have very opinions, depending on their experiences. I am an only child. I was a little lonely sometimes, but mostly because my dad had always been ill, and my mom had to get a full time job to fill the financial obligations. She had always been home (they were married 4 years before I came along) until then. She just assumed that she would be home with me, too.

When I was young, it was fine, I had Grandma. I only got a little lonely when I was a bit older and wished I had someone to talk to besides my Grandma and friends that I only saw in school. We lived in the country, pretty far away from everyone. 

 When my husband and I got married, I would only discuss having 2 children. I never dreamed of having just 1, simply because I was a little lonely sometimes and would have liked to have had company. We have our 2 boys, 3 1/2 years apart.

From the day I brought baby #2 home, there has been so much stress. Don't get me wrong , I never have regretted the birth of either of our boys, but the stress can be overwhelming sometimes. The fighting between the 2 was horrible. I got no help from my otherwise wonderful husband when it came to discipline at all. The "boys" are now 19yo and 16yo. They are FINALLY getting along. I am sure it's because the 19yo moved out and only comes home on weekends to do laundry.

 Thinking about it, I am sure either of our boys would have been perfectly fine being an only child. They have always had lots of friends and they do lots of things on their own. The only thing they really enjoy doing together is fishing, and like I said, that took 16 years to come about. 

 I would just have to figure out how to roll both of the boys into 1, so that I can have the best of both, as they are 2 VERY different personalities. 

LiesLiesLies
by on Aug. 18, 2012 at 5:27 PM
1 kid is perfect.

That's all I have and all I ever want:)
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MommyCakes1122
by on Aug. 18, 2012 at 5:28 PM

Thank you, I appreciate your honesty :-)  You sound very objective 

Mommy2justone
by Mommy2justtwo on Aug. 19, 2012 at 4:55 PM

We have been blessed with one child. We have been TTC for over 2 years, and have started looking into adoption. But after thinking it over for the past month, she is all we need. We can give her everything she needs to be a great person when she grows up, she doesn't "Need" a sibling to be a good person. 

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