I'm new to this forum and had to join because I need to talk to someone and need serious mom advise. This is why I am the worst mom ever... I feel like my 2 children are a constant disappointment too me. They are 5 and 6. I have worked in early child education/ care for 17 years, even been a director for 4, so I know how to motivate children and postively reinforce desired behavior as well as redirect negative behavior. However my 2 children are the exeception. Both of them are so stubborn they simply refuses to conform to appropriate social behavior as well as follow simple rules and directions.
It seems they are always the only 2 kids who never get it right in whatever the situation is. They are the kids laying in grass during soccer practice, using potty words at the snack table, running around like little crazy people, walking off in a store, leaving messes everywhere even though they were just told to clean up. It's not just typical kid stuff, it's all the time!
These are not dumb kids and they are actually really loving, funny, beautiful children. They love me so much and seem to really want my approval and attention, so I just can't figure out why they are so hell bent on disobeying every rule I have despite redirection, time outs, loss of toys and yes even a spanking. I have even had the children evaluated by the IU and personal child pyschologist...consensus is they are perfectly healthy, normal children.
I love my children with all my heart and I know what amazing beautiful souls they are, but it just seems like that take ever opportunity possible to embarrass and shame me. I feel like I work so hard to teach them the right things and give them a consistant stable life and they just disappoint me at every turn. I don't know what I'm doing wrong to be such a failure as a mom. I don't want to be a negative influence for them or have them feel inadequate because of my feelings, but at the same time I have to adress and change the behavior.
Please positive advise only, I'm sincere in my plee for benefical help. I don't want to feel this way about my children, I really just want others to see the wonderful things I love about them too. How can I change me to better help them? Thanks.