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OVERWHELMED AND DON"T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!! ( Kinda Long)

Posted by on Oct. 1, 2012 at 6:27 AM
  • 18 Replies

     First off let me say that this is just me talking I guess. I am currently overwhelmed and don't know what to do... I have a beautiful 2 month old daughter ho is my whole world.. And a very loving and awsome mother I am very close too. Right before i had my daughter my mom went in for surgery to get a stint in her heart.. After she came home she could barely walk her legs and feet were all bruised.. The doctors told her it was from where plaque fell from her heart when they did the stint and it would work it's self out.. About a month after having my daughter my mother went to the emergency room cause she was in so much pain. they admitted her and ened up doing surgery on her amputating her big right toe... Well she was in their for about two and a half weeks. I stayed with her the whole time.. They sent her home and told her that she will lose her big left toe and smaller left foot toe as well maybe her foot. They told her that they were sending her home so they could elf amputate their selves due to she has Dry gain green in them. an if they went in an cut them then it would spread.. So now she is back home and i am taking care of her. Changing her bandages and doctoring them like they showed me.. She has a home health cre nurse that comes out once a week but they don't change her stuff i do. they just watch me.. 

  I love my mother and will always take care of her.. I just have been feeling overwhelmed and depressed lately. Due to where i am taking care of her and taking care of my daughter as well. I don't have any help at all. My siblings don't offer to help at all and my daughters dad isn't around to help me.. I just don't know what to do for my self to not be overwhelmed. I can't leave the house and go out for a night or nothing cause i can't leave my mom.. I just ugh don't know anymore...

by on Oct. 1, 2012 at 6:27 AM
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Replies (1-10):
CreziaMommyTo2
by on Oct. 1, 2012 at 6:29 AM

your insurance shold cover more than a 1 time a week visit.  if they dont, then your mom should be able to be left home alone.. if you arent comfortable.. POP, home nurses are as much as a baby sitter

JoeMax
by on Oct. 1, 2012 at 6:37 AM
The nurse should be doing her job while she is there. If the nurse isn't doing the bandages, she is not making an accurate report about state of the wound in your mom's chart. If I were you, I would call the company that sends the nurse and complain, not in a rude way, but the nurse really should be taking care of things when she comes.
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shortiesmom24
by on Oct. 1, 2012 at 6:45 AM

The nurses watch me change the bandages and what not when their their.. but since im her care taker at home they want to make sure i know what i'm doing i guess.. and my mom would perfer me to do it cause im more gentle then they are... they end up hurting her.... And she doesn't have insurance at this time to hire anyone.. so it's all on me

robyann
by on Oct. 1, 2012 at 7:22 AM
1 mom liked this

 Wow, I can imagine your overwhelmed! This is alot of responsibility for you. Your an awesome dd to be there for your mom day in and day out. While also trying to take care of your baby. You really do need some help. You have to get your siblings together and work out a plan. Maybe say if you have 2 siblings that each day one of them can come and stay with your mom for 2 hours, or something like that. They have to pitch in and help too. Just force them to. If you have a plan worked out before you meet with them, they'll be more likely to agree....they may feel like the whole situation is overwhelming to them too and they just don't know what to do. So you can tell them what they need to do to help you and your mom. You just need to make sure you get some time away from the situation at least a few times a week.

imgnabamommy
by on Oct. 1, 2012 at 8:00 AM
1 mom liked this

since she doesn't have insurance, you can always post on craigslist or other caregiver websites to hire a PRN (as needed) nurse aid and call them when you need to have some time away from your mom without worrying, even if you do take your dd with you.


Abigail0210
by on Oct. 1, 2012 at 1:28 PM
1 mom liked this

Medicade should be able to help but only if she doesn't have a savings account...

Comfort Keepers are great but on the expensive side....

I am so sorry that you are dealing with all of this...

country280
by Member on Oct. 1, 2012 at 6:58 PM
1 mom liked this

talk to your mom's dr and tell them you are overwhelmed and your mom needs more help. They will order a nurse out more often and her insurance or medicare should cover it.

Lindalou907
by Silver Member on Oct. 1, 2012 at 7:25 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm so sorry,I hope you can use some of these excellent suggestions. Your siblings need to be made aware of how stressed you are,and told exactly what you need,so hopefully they will step up.

panther79
by Member on Oct. 1, 2012 at 7:53 PM
1 mom liked this

 I really feel for you and I wish i had some other suggestion. Have you tried to get medicaid for your mom since she has no insurance? I know it's PA but if she qualifies it sounds like you could use the help. That does suck that your siblings wont step in and help their own mom. Keep your head up I hope something works out for you and your family.

shortiesmom24
by on Oct. 2, 2012 at 12:48 AM

I wish it was tht easy with them i have one sister and two older brothers i am the youngest.. I mean my older brother lives a hour away and works alot so i understand why he can't help. my other two siblings just refuse to help no matter what i say...  I try to be the best daughter i can be... I just wish i had some help so i could go out for a while or something.. but i feel like it is not possible.. But i am making it just feel overwhelmed at times

Quoting robyann:

 Wow, I can imagine your overwhelmed! This is alot of responsibility for you. Your an awesome dd to be there for your mom day in and day out. While also trying to take care of your baby. You really do need some help. You have to get your siblings together and work out a plan. Maybe say if you have 2 siblings that each day one of them can come and stay with your mom for 2 hours, or something like that. They have to pitch in and help too. Just force them to. If you have a plan worked out before you meet with them, they'll be more likely to agree....they may feel like the whole situation is overwhelming to them too and they just don't know what to do. So you can tell them what they need to do to help you and your mom. You just need to make sure you get some time away from the situation at least a few times a week.


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