I like Attachment parenting, although my hubby and I didn't follow every single guideline. We did what worked best for us and the baby, and my little guy has turned out pretty well.
Some of the things that worked well for us was co-sleeping for the first four months, although my baby was in an Arm's reach co-sleeper and not in the bed with us. In the beginning, this made it much easier to feed, diaper, and attend to his needs in the night. It also felt good to be in the same room with my little guy, and gave me peace of mind.
When my baby cried, I always tried to immediately respond; although this can be tiring in the beginning, as my baby has gotten older, I really believe I am able to meet his needs and intuitively know what he wants. He's able to communicate with me when he needs a diaper change, food, cuddles....I think responding immediately in the beginning has made communication a lot easier now that my baby is a bit older.
Baby-wearing also worked well for me, although I didn't do it 100% of the time. I used a boba sling, and it was very comfortable for me, and comforting as well to have the assurance of my baby with me. I think it brought us closer together.
I think with Attachment parenting, you have to do what works for you and the baby. Dr. Sears has a book called "The Baby Book" and it's a great book for reference and reading.
I don't know exactly what that is...but when I was pregnant I had read that between birth and 2, immediatly respond when baby cries, don't do 'cry it out' - blah blah blah. Well, I didn't like for my son to cry anyway...so I always picked him up when he cried and catered to every need... It was suppose to make them feel secure. It worked! My 'baby' will be 4 next weekend and he is very independent and has a lot of self confidence. He is a perfectly normal little man! :)
I'm a big fan but it doesn't work for every child. My oldest for instance has to be left alone to calm down. She also had to CIO to sleep though I comforted her often. She just wouldn't sleep when she needed too. We both nearly died (or so it felt) from sleep deprivation. My youngest on the other hand would only sleep while touching me for the first two years. Both have turned out well though the oldest has ADHD, and the youngest clinical anxiety, they are both in college with scholarships right now. We are very proud of them.
I CIO with one and picked up the other at every whimper, they both turned out fine.
The difference in my relationship with my oldest who I raised in the classic style for 3-3 1/2 years, and my second son who I wear in a baby carrier, full term breast feed, co-sleep, gentle-possitive discipline is huge.
I've of course begun AP my oldest but the difference is still noticable. These are children, yes, but children who will only be in our home for a short time after which they will be on their own. If the only reason they did things or didn't do others is because of the consequenses we arbetrarilly put on them then they have little to no reason to continue once out of our home.
If we want them to be respectful contributing members of society, we should concetrate on teaching them why other then fear of the punishments we choose.
I don't have experience in attachment parenting but like a PP say, I don't label my parenting style, I just do want works for our family. So far I have some pretty healthy and happy kids, so I say do what feels like as a parent, you can go ahead and read everything but somtimes just knowing what feels right for you is best.
Quoting JoyfulJ:LOVE IT!!! The difference in my relationship with my oldest who I raised in the classic style for 3-3 1/2 years, and my second son who I wear in a baby carrier, full term breast feed, co-sleep, gentle-possitive discipline is huge.I've of course begun AP my oldest but the difference is still noticable. These are children, yes, but children who will only be in our home for a short time after which they will be on their own. If the only reason they did things or didn't do others is because of the consequenses we arbetrarilly put on them then they have little to no reason to continue once out of our home.If we want them to be respectful contributing members of society, we should concetrate on teaching them why other then fear of the punishments we choose.
AP can be really hard if the dad is not on board. No drugs with either deliverty....I nursed on demand, slept with babies, carried in a sling, for the first 20 months of my eldest life he never heard the word no. It was harder with the second but still nursed for ever...past two for both...co slept, carried but not as much. The husband just wanted out and didn't really want to be a parent anyways. The few times I would put the eldest in day care I found that I really got distanced from him...the attachment I think was more me to them then the other way around. My boys are 13 and 11 and are really delightful excellent children even tho our life is not easy.
Sometimes I wonder how it would have been if I had a c section, bottle fed, trained them to sleep in a crib and hang out in a play pen...the marriage probably would have lasted longer and not sure that would have been a good thing.
Connect with CafeMom:
Switch to Mobile Site
Getting Started Guide
Frequently Asked Questions
Part of the CafeMom family
© 2014 CMI Marketing, Inc. All rights reserved.