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Questioning my parnter on if he is right...

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 Hello everyone I am 24 years old a mother of four. My oldest three are from a previous relationship, and my newest addidtion is from the guy I am with now. We have been together for two years on the 30th of this month. I am having a really hard time with him. I have a bad past of drug use and stupid things. been sober for two years but we live in a area were my past is always right there. So when someone finds me on facebook or something I have even had some get ahold of my number he makes it all my fault. Actually everything that goes wrong in our relationship is all my fault and I need help i love him so much but to a point I can't take it. I do everything a mother and wife is so post to do cook, clean take care of the kids no breaks... It just seems like I will never be good enough for him and it is really starting to get to me HELP please...

by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 1:18 PM
Replies (11-20):
yperez0209
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 8:40 PM

What I have to say to you is very simple. Do you want to save your relationship and make it easier to deal with your past without so much temptation? DELETE FACEBOOK........ and never look back. That is the link to the puzzlethat is causing issues. Everyone and there mom has a facebook, and so many marriges end because some old boyfriend or person finds you and all types of issues surface. Many may agrue with my opinion and say tempation is everywhere, wheither you have facebook or not. But why make it harder? Can we live without it? YES.

And yes you are good, you have survived many things and he will see your efforts just be patient. And stay strong to what you believe. I read that you are tempted because of where your living, remove yourself from that neighborhood. It may take a few months of planning and saving but you have to defend your sobriety.

starlynn2012
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 3:58 PM

the only thing that is my fault is i didn't have my number blocked it showed up when you looked me up it was puiblic veiw. So yes that part was my fault I dont add people from my past there in my past for a reason so how is it my fault if people seek me out. Like I said the only thing that is my fault is my number wasn't blocked but leason learned its blocked now. But this post isn't just about that its about just everything in genral. Its very hard to be with someone you love so much and is really the first person you have ever truely loved but he is still so young in his mind from the choices he made and were he ended up because of them that makes it hard. And he holds a lot of what his baby mama did against me. so I 100 % take fault for having my number on there to were anyone could see it but nothing else.

Mommyof2114
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 4:00 PM
You probably should move. It seems like he needs a fresh start with you.
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Had3girls
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 4:05 PM
1 mom liked this
I've noticed u comment on a lot of stuff and u rarely try to help any1 u always have something negative to say and a way to make some1 feel worse about their current situation ..... I'm starting to feel like u think u r sooo much better than others .... u need to learn how to show compassion ....

Ill pray for u


Quoting CoeyG:

You have control over who you friend and who you block on Face Book so if you allow them to contacrt you via Face Book it is your fault.  Change your phone number and stop giving it out, and if by any change they do get your number don't talk to them when they call, hang up, it is your fault if you don't  


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CoeyG
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 4:07 PM


Quoting starlynn2012:

the only thing that is my fault is i didn't have my number blocked it showed up when you looked me up it was puiblic veiw. So yes that part was my fault I dont add people from my past there in my past for a reason so how is it my fault if people seek me out. Like I said the only thing that is my fault is my number wasn't blocked but leason learned its blocked now. But this post isn't just about that its about just everything in genral. Its very hard to be with someone you love so much and is really the first person you have ever truely loved but he is still so young in his mind from the choices he made and were he ended up because of them that makes it hard. And he holds a lot of what his baby mama did against me. so I 100 % take fault for having my number on there to were anyone could see it but nothing else.

If they seek you out and they are on your facebook then you had to have allowed them to be there.  If they were in your past you wouldn't have heard from them to begin with, you had to open their message.  I delete messages from people I don't know and I frend no one that I don't want to have my facebook information. .  There are people in my past I don't want my  Face Book, and they have tried.  You can block them...if you don't that is your fault. 

cchanner
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 7:42 PM
1 mom liked this
The last time I knew it tskes two to be in a relationship!!! Never let anyone brinb you down or make you feel like you arent good enough. My personal view on this is he is insecure about himself and blaming you for everything makes him feel better!!! Hang in there and do what makes you and your kids happy ;)
Momforhealth
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 7:58 PM

 ok..so think about this.  How is it your fault someone else contacts you?  Unless you are not setting the boundries to protect yourself.

If you do not want contact with these people because possibly they are not good for you..they pressure you to be something you do not want to be anymore, you have some control on facebook.  You can put blocks on or accept as friends and only open only to certain ppl.  Me when I was on there which I am not anymore, I was only friends with those I know were somewhat good for me.  Facebook can be very hard because people from your PAST may think of you of how they remember you.  So maybe it would be good to say...I'm not like that anymore, please stop. If they can not, then say goodbye and block them.   Tell your husband you are trying.  Block you phone number when they call.  and on facebook.

Maybe counseling would be good at teaching you guys how to communicate more effectively rather than feeling like each others is pointing the finger.  What he could be saying is, I don't like when...., or I feel when....rather than..you you you!!  Relationships take hard work and lots of change...lots of compromise and loving the other person. 

CoeyG
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 8:30 PM


Quoting Had3girls:

I've noticed u comment on a lot of stuff and u rarely try to help any1 u always have something negative to say and a way to make some1 feel worse about their current situation ..... I'm starting to feel like u think u r sooo much better than others .... u need to learn how to show compassion ....

Ill pray for u


Quoting CoeyG:

You have control over who you friend and who you block on Face Book so if you allow them to contacrt you via Face Book it is your fault.  Change your phone number and stop giving it out, and if by any change they do get your number don't talk to them when they call, hang up, it is your fault if you don't  


starlynn2012
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 10:18 PM

wow coey g you are really rude. You know I come here for help and your just like him IT IS NOT MY FAULT IF THE SEEK me and no he wasn't a friend Hell i thought i would never have to worry about this person every getting ahold of. And yes my number was unblocked what don't you get about that all you had to do is type in my name on facebook and it showed it because me not realzing it it showed but that is changed now. And I blocked that person but honestly how can you sit there and be just like him are you not getting the issue wow that is very rude for you to go off about it when you obviously don't read things because like i said the only thing I am at fault for is not having my number blocked that is it. TO EVERYONE ELSE. Thank you for your kind words they are really helping me on what i need to do....

savingtheworld
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 10:45 PM
I was really wild at a point..I married 2 yrs ago also..an like u my past followed me an I hated it..so I moved to another town..I actually left my 3 kids behind.. I told my new hubby stories about my past..but we did work on trust..but he has to want to trust u..I do have a facebook but I do not friend any body from the past..we recently moved bk to the little town..bc I wanted my kids..
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