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Am I Wrong? ::Husband texting women from work: NEW UPDATE

Posted by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 6:36 PM
  • 251 Replies

Backstory: Together 8 years, Married 6. 2 kids and were about to start TTC#3.

I decided to check online at our text message history, call it a hunch I had. In the past 6 days, my husband has been secretly texting a women who recently was fired from his place of employment. They have texted 1000 times in 6 days (yes I counted).

I told him about it and he told me it wasn't a secret, nothing is going on. He told me he isn't going to end his friendship with her for me. I am being dramatic. Well I was angry, upset, hurt.... So I posted on facebook (he said dramatic, I showed him dramatic). Well he CALLED her to tell her what I wrote on facebook. "She didn't deserve to be drug into this because you are mad at me." Thats what he told me.

This women has no job...Lost her kids (CPS came and took them). Real winner, yes.

He says that it is no different then me texting my friends. Ok I don't sneak off into another room to text, and my friends are female. He is only off once every 7 days. Instead of spending that time with his children, he has been texting her. One day they texted almost 500 times!!!!! I find this wrong in so many ways.

Please, tell me...Am I wrong to be upset?!

UPDATE #1::::::: We had a nice long talk after the kids went to bed last night. He still says it was nothing. I explained that I don't care if he has female friends but the way he went about it was ALL wrong.
I have no idea if we can/will work it out but, he did text her and say he can't talk to her anymore. I saw she updated on facebook this morning (before I logged onto his account and BLOCKED her) that its sad she can't be friends with him.

He also told me that 500 in one day was a lot. He said that if she texts him again he won't delete it and won't reply. Guess we will wait and see what happens.... Trust is gone though, not sure how you can come back.

UPDATE #2:::::::: This morning he was missing...I had no idea where he was. Phone was turned off. I googled her name, got her address.... And found him at her house.

So for the few who dissed me for being concerned. Are you still on his side?

UPDATE #3:::::::::: The past few days have been exhausting. I am emotionally drained and just very very confused. I have no idea what I am going to do yet. Even though the logical answer would be to leave. I just don't think I can bring myself to do that. As stupid as that might sound right now, I am not making an decisions until I have had time to think it through. Thank you everyone for your replies. I am reading through all of the new ones now.
Also, he still maintains he is innocent. It will take time, trust is lost. The $70 flowers were nice, but def NOT going to make up for what he has done.


by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 6:36 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Gina_C
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 6:40 PM
4 moms liked this
Maybe it's me, but I don't have ANY friends that I text 500 times in one day. I mean, really?? Have you tried to talk to her? Maybe tell her how inappropriate it is for her to be texting a married man like that? And no, I don't think you are wrong. Maybe your husband should show you the texts.
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mommyames2
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 6:44 PM

Yep, I don't text anyone that many times a day either. After I found out. He called her... Then she CALLED ME. She told me nothing was going on. Well in my opinion, it shouldn't be a secret then. It just doesn't sound right to me. I told him I wanted to see texts, he said he deleted them "because I always delete everyone's."

ashleybgarcia
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 6:45 PM
1 mom liked this
Sounds fishy to me. Something is going on.
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Gina_C
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 6:48 PM
6 moms liked this
Ok, so let's say nothing is going or whatever. Then he should be a man and stop all this crap simply for the fact that you are his WIFE, and it's upset you, and he obviously isn't respecting your feelings. He isn't acting like a married man.


Quoting mommyames2:

Yep, I don't text anyone that many times a day either. After I found out. He called her... Then she CALLED ME. She told me nothing was going on. Well in my opinion, it shouldn't be a secret then. It just doesn't sound right to me. I told him I wanted to see texts, he said he deleted them "because I always delete everyone's."


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katielawlor
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 6:49 PM

Hell no ur not wrong girl! And dont let him make u feel like the bad guy in this!! I cought my husband doing the same thing a few months ago, He doesn't want me texting any guys or anything like that, but he was texting someone from work, and Its a long story but, in the end I made him call her and tell her I knew they were texting and didnt approve so he had to stop talking to her and for her to stop texting him. So i watched him tell her and delete her number and he asked her to delete his number to and not to call or anything anymore. But now I still check his phone everyonce in awhile, bcuz I feel like he's up to something, althou everytime i look theres nothing on there, but then again hecould be deleting everything....so i know how you feel. You need to tell your husband its either the loser chick, or his wife and kids!

Gina_C
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 6:49 PM
2 moms liked this
And I hate to be negative or put thoughts in your head, but you know better than any of us. And if it doesn't feel right to you, then it probably isn't. My ex cheated and his fave thing to do was turn it around in me like I'm the crazy insecure one. Don't let him pull that crap
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katielawlor
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 6:51 PM

Yea they are right, if he is deleting them I'd definatly say somethings up!

mommyames2
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 6:54 PM

He told me "I think that you are the one cheating because you are so insecure." So yeah he has def been trying to turn it around.

Quoting Gina_C:

And I hate to be negative or put thoughts in your head, but you know better than any of us. And if it doesn't feel right to you, then it probably isn't. My ex cheated and his fave thing to do was turn it around in me like I'm the crazy insecure one. Don't let him pull that crap


mommyames2
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 6:55 PM
1 mom liked this

I told him that. He said that he deletes ALL his messages from everyone. Bull. I literally sat at my computer forever counting up each and every text. I never see him text, so he must be doing it while hes in he bathroom or I am in the other room. Yeah he isnt' hiding it is he.

Quoting katielawlor:

Yea they are right, if he is deleting them I'd definatly say somethings up!


2girlsYES
by Member on Oct. 3, 2012 at 6:56 PM
2 moms liked this
Hey there was a reason you checked into this --- I think your reason was spot on.

If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck -- it's a duck.
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