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Am I Wrong? ::Husband texting women from work: NEW UPDATE

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Backstory: Together 8 years, Married 6. 2 kids and were about to start TTC#3.

I decided to check online at our text message history, call it a hunch I had. In the past 6 days, my husband has been secretly texting a women who recently was fired from his place of employment. They have texted 1000 times in 6 days (yes I counted).

I told him about it and he told me it wasn't a secret, nothing is going on. He told me he isn't going to end his friendship with her for me. I am being dramatic. Well I was angry, upset, hurt.... So I posted on facebook (he said dramatic, I showed him dramatic). Well he CALLED her to tell her what I wrote on facebook. "She didn't deserve to be drug into this because you are mad at me." Thats what he told me.

This women has no job...Lost her kids (CPS came and took them). Real winner, yes.

He says that it is no different then me texting my friends. Ok I don't sneak off into another room to text, and my friends are female. He is only off once every 7 days. Instead of spending that time with his children, he has been texting her. One day they texted almost 500 times!!!!! I find this wrong in so many ways.

Please, tell me...Am I wrong to be upset?!

UPDATE #1::::::: We had a nice long talk after the kids went to bed last night. He still says it was nothing. I explained that I don't care if he has female friends but the way he went about it was ALL wrong.
I have no idea if we can/will work it out but, he did text her and say he can't talk to her anymore. I saw she updated on facebook this morning (before I logged onto his account and BLOCKED her) that its sad she can't be friends with him.

He also told me that 500 in one day was a lot. He said that if she texts him again he won't delete it and won't reply. Guess we will wait and see what happens.... Trust is gone though, not sure how you can come back.

UPDATE #2:::::::: This morning he was missing...I had no idea where he was. Phone was turned off. I googled her name, got her address.... And found him at her house.

So for the few who dissed me for being concerned. Are you still on his side?

UPDATE #3:::::::::: The past few days have been exhausting. I am emotionally drained and just very very confused. I have no idea what I am going to do yet. Even though the logical answer would be to leave. I just don't think I can bring myself to do that. As stupid as that might sound right now, I am not making an decisions until I have had time to think it through. Thank you everyone for your replies. I am reading through all of the new ones now.
Also, he still maintains he is innocent. It will take time, trust is lost. The $70 flowers were nice, but def NOT going to make up for what he has done.


by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 6:36 PM
Replies (241-250):
Blovesyouuu
by Member on Oct. 12, 2012 at 8:39 PM

 500 times in a day? I'm almost 17 & I don't even text anyone that much! There must be something going on. I would sit down & talk to him about it. And if that doesn't work, maybe go to a counselor. And definitely ask about getting the text messages from Verizon! I'm sooo sorry! I know how it feels. When I was pregnant, my boyfriend of a year and a half was texting girls behind my back and then I found out he was cheating on me. Definitely, find out what's going on.

wkv2069
by on Oct. 12, 2012 at 8:45 PM
This sounds EXACTLY like what I went through.....'oh..we're just friends, nothings going on'. Yeah...that's why they got together the day we split. It sucks and makes u feel like shit and u slowly move on.........((hugs))
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Gina_C
by on Oct. 21, 2012 at 4:48 PM
It's so easy for everyone to sit back and say what they would or wouldn't do. And I can guarantee half these women wouldn't leave either if it happened to them. Not that it matters. It's your family, your decision. No one is perfect, everyone makes mistakes, and no one really knows the whole story but you and your husband. I personally think it takes a stronger woman to stay and make her marriage work. Running away is easy. Kudos for you and I hope it all works out :)


Quoting mommyames2:

I just finished reading a post from a lady who was caught cheating on her husband. 98% of you said such kind things, "pray for you," "give him time.." and so on. No one bashed her, told her she didn't deserve him. He needs to leave her, divorce her. No, just pat her on the back and give her caring words. Yet I get called names, told I'm a bad mother, and only had a few people support me and my decision to not leave. This just sickens me!

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atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Oct. 21, 2012 at 5:08 PM
Omg, you need to get your life in order and leave. Don't let him treat you like crap. He is using you.
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atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Oct. 21, 2012 at 5:09 PM
Oh yes, I would. I would already be gone. Why do women let men use them????? It is unbelievable.


Quoting Gina_C:

It's so easy for everyone to sit back and say what they would or wouldn't do. And I can guarantee half these women wouldn't leave either if it happened to them. Not that it matters. It's your family, your decision. No one is perfect, everyone makes mistakes, and no one really knows the whole story but you and your husband. I personally think it takes a stronger woman to stay and make her marriage work. Running away is easy. Kudos for you and I hope it all works out :)




Quoting mommyames2:

I just finished reading a post from a lady who was caught cheating on her husband. 98% of you said such kind things, "pray for you," "give him time.." and so on. No one bashed her, told her she didn't deserve him. He needs to leave her, divorce her. No, just pat her on the back and give her caring words. Yet I get called names, told I'm a bad mother, and only had a few people support me and my decision to not leave. This just sickens me!


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
CoeyG
by on Oct. 21, 2012 at 5:18 PM
1 mom liked this

All I can say is I wouldn't be trying to make a baby with a man I had no trust in and it is obvious that the OP does not trust her husband...But if she feels she isn't worthy of better then let him use her until she is totally drained and useless to even herself.  Yes it is sad but that is the way it will happen because she already obviously had no self esteem and no self pride.    

Gina_C
by on Oct. 21, 2012 at 5:29 PM
There is more than just him and her. There are kids involved. A family, a home, careers, schools, a life. What's wrong with trying to salvage what's left of their marriage? She's not letting him use her, she is making a choice to stay and try to fix things


Quoting atlmom2:

Oh yes, I would. I would already be gone. Why do women let men use them????? It is unbelievable.



Quoting Gina_C:

It's so easy for everyone to sit back and say what they would or wouldn't do. And I can guarantee half these women wouldn't leave either if it happened to them. Not that it matters. It's your family, your decision. No one is perfect, everyone makes mistakes, and no one really knows the whole story but you and your husband. I personally think it takes a stronger woman to stay and make her marriage work. Running away is easy. Kudos for you and I hope it all works out :)





Quoting mommyames2:

I just finished reading a post from a lady who was caught cheating on her husband. 98% of you said such kind things, "pray for you," "give him time.." and so on. No one bashed her, told her she didn't deserve him. He needs to leave her, divorce her. No, just pat her on the back and give her caring words. Yet I get called names, told I'm a bad mother, and only had a few people support me and my decision to not leave. This just sickens me!






Posted on CafeMom Mobile
atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Oct. 21, 2012 at 5:34 PM
Salvage something with a liar and cheater???? If you have any self esteem you leave. This isn't a one time cheating or him liaing once.


Quoting Gina_C:

There is more than just him and her. There are kids involved. A family, a home, careers, schools, a life. What's wrong with trying to salvage what's left of their marriage? She's not letting him use her, she is making a choice to stay and try to fix things





Quoting atlmom2:

Oh yes, I would. I would already be gone. Why do women let men use them????? It is unbelievable.




Quoting Gina_C:

It's so easy for everyone to sit back and say what they would or wouldn't do. And I can guarantee half these women wouldn't leave either if it happened to them. Not that it matters. It's your family, your decision. No one is perfect, everyone makes mistakes, and no one really knows the whole story but you and your husband. I personally think it takes a stronger woman to stay and make her marriage work. Running away is easy. Kudos for you and I hope it all works out :)






Quoting mommyames2:

I just finished reading a post from a lady who was caught cheating on her husband. 98% of you said such kind things, "pray for you," "give him time.." and so on. No one bashed her, told her she didn't deserve him. He needs to leave her, divorce her. No, just pat her on the back and give her caring words. Yet I get called names, told I'm a bad mother, and only had a few people support me and my decision to not leave. This just sickens me!










Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Gina_C
by on Oct. 21, 2012 at 5:42 PM
Well, we should all be so lucky as to be as perfect as you because only someone who has never made any mistakes has the right to judge others..

Just saying..


Quoting atlmom2:

Salvage something with a liar and cheater???? If you have any self esteem you leave. This isn't a one time cheating or him liaing once.




Quoting Gina_C:

There is more than just him and her. There are kids involved. A family, a home, careers, schools, a life. What's wrong with trying to salvage what's left of their marriage? She's not letting him use her, she is making a choice to stay and try to fix things








Quoting atlmom2:

Oh yes, I would. I would already be gone. Why do women let men use them????? It is unbelievable.





Quoting Gina_C:

It's so easy for everyone to sit back and say what they would or wouldn't do. And I can guarantee half these women wouldn't leave either if it happened to them. Not that it matters. It's your family, your decision. No one is perfect, everyone makes mistakes, and no one really knows the whole story but you and your husband. I personally think it takes a stronger woman to stay and make her marriage work. Running away is easy. Kudos for you and I hope it all works out :)







Quoting mommyames2:

I just finished reading a post from a lady who was caught cheating on her husband. 98% of you said such kind things, "pray for you," "give him time.." and so on. No one bashed her, told her she didn't deserve him. He needs to leave her, divorce her. No, just pat her on the back and give her caring words. Yet I get called names, told I'm a bad mother, and only had a few people support me and my decision to not leave. This just sickens me!














Posted on CafeMom Mobile
atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Oct. 21, 2012 at 5:45 PM
Whatever, you are always so damn rude. I put my opinion. I don't give a crap if you disagree. This was not a one time thing. This is ongoing and him lying over and over.


Quoting Gina_C:

Well, we should all be so lucky as to be as perfect as you because only someone who has never made any mistakes has the right to judge others..



Just saying..




Quoting atlmom2:

Salvage something with a liar and cheater???? If you have any self esteem you leave. This isn't a one time cheating or him liaing once.






Quoting Gina_C:

There is more than just him and her. There are kids involved. A family, a home, careers, schools, a life. What's wrong with trying to salvage what's left of their marriage? She's not letting him use her, she is making a choice to stay and try to fix things











Quoting atlmom2:

Oh yes, I would. I would already be gone. Why do women let men use them????? It is unbelievable.






Quoting Gina_C:

It's so easy for everyone to sit back and say what they would or wouldn't do. And I can guarantee half these women wouldn't leave either if it happened to them. Not that it matters. It's your family, your decision. No one is perfect, everyone makes mistakes, and no one really knows the whole story but you and your husband. I personally think it takes a stronger woman to stay and make her marriage work. Running away is easy. Kudos for you and I hope it all works out :)








Quoting mommyames2:

I just finished reading a post from a lady who was caught cheating on her husband. 98% of you said such kind things, "pray for you," "give him time.." and so on. No one bashed her, told her she didn't deserve him. He needs to leave her, divorce her. No, just pat her on the back and give her caring words. Yet I get called names, told I'm a bad mother, and only had a few people support me and my decision to not leave. This just sickens me!


















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