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Am I Wrong? ::Husband texting women from work: NEW UPDATE

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Backstory: Together 8 years, Married 6. 2 kids and were about to start TTC#3.

I decided to check online at our text message history, call it a hunch I had. In the past 6 days, my husband has been secretly texting a women who recently was fired from his place of employment. They have texted 1000 times in 6 days (yes I counted).

I told him about it and he told me it wasn't a secret, nothing is going on. He told me he isn't going to end his friendship with her for me. I am being dramatic. Well I was angry, upset, hurt.... So I posted on facebook (he said dramatic, I showed him dramatic). Well he CALLED her to tell her what I wrote on facebook. "She didn't deserve to be drug into this because you are mad at me." Thats what he told me.

This women has no job...Lost her kids (CPS came and took them). Real winner, yes.

He says that it is no different then me texting my friends. Ok I don't sneak off into another room to text, and my friends are female. He is only off once every 7 days. Instead of spending that time with his children, he has been texting her. One day they texted almost 500 times!!!!! I find this wrong in so many ways.

Please, tell me...Am I wrong to be upset?!

UPDATE #1::::::: We had a nice long talk after the kids went to bed last night. He still says it was nothing. I explained that I don't care if he has female friends but the way he went about it was ALL wrong.
I have no idea if we can/will work it out but, he did text her and say he can't talk to her anymore. I saw she updated on facebook this morning (before I logged onto his account and BLOCKED her) that its sad she can't be friends with him.

He also told me that 500 in one day was a lot. He said that if she texts him again he won't delete it and won't reply. Guess we will wait and see what happens.... Trust is gone though, not sure how you can come back.

UPDATE #2:::::::: This morning he was missing...I had no idea where he was. Phone was turned off. I googled her name, got her address.... And found him at her house.

So for the few who dissed me for being concerned. Are you still on his side?

UPDATE #3:::::::::: The past few days have been exhausting. I am emotionally drained and just very very confused. I have no idea what I am going to do yet. Even though the logical answer would be to leave. I just don't think I can bring myself to do that. As stupid as that might sound right now, I am not making an decisions until I have had time to think it through. Thank you everyone for your replies. I am reading through all of the new ones now.
Also, he still maintains he is innocent. It will take time, trust is lost. The $70 flowers were nice, but def NOT going to make up for what he has done.


by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 6:36 PM
Replies (31-40):
mommyames2
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 7:23 PM

Agreed. I don't even text my bestfriend 500 times daily! Thats like nonstop!

Quoting mama_l:

500 texts a day?! Dang I don't even speak 500 WORDS to my husband a day. Yup something's up with that without thought or question. Sorry!


Kiki7808
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 7:26 PM

he is probably finding something cuz he is turning it on you and not wanting to give her up like you said. if nothing was going on it would be easy for him to just say he was sorry and didnt think it would be a problem and to stop but since he wont it seems he is feeling guilty about it thus externalizing it onto you. if you cant get the text records i would leave or make him leave and tell him to let you know who he decides is more important you and your family or this women and that you dont want to hear from him till he has an answer for you, but if he picks you he needs to be all in and forget this girl.. suck you have to go through this been there.. its hard. trust is the hardest thing to get back... 

ashleybgarcia
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 7:34 PM
Yeah , I think I've heard of this !


Quoting mommyames2:

Really? I have verizon. I will def be looking into that!


Quoting juniebug11:

I do think there is a way to view these on your cellphone bill, you may have to request it. But as long as your name is on the bill.
I know Verizon does it .



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
mommyames2
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 7:35 PM

I am def calling them tomorrow when the kids are at school!

Quoting ashleybgarcia:

Yeah , I think I've heard of this !


Quoting mommyames2:

Really? I have verizon. I will def be looking into that!


Quoting juniebug11:

I do think there is a way to view these on your cellphone bill, you may have to request it. But as long as your name is on the bill.
I know Verizon does it .

 



GagaNTattooS
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 7:35 PM
He has female friends yes I dont really care

Quoting atlmom2:

To women he used to work with?????




Quoting GagaNTattooS:

Meh. My husband sends about 4,000 texts a month I really don't care

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
GagaNTattooS
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 7:36 PM
You can see the numbers not the text only way to get the text is with a court order I do this for a living


Quoting mommyames2:

I am def calling them tomorrow when the kids are at school!


Quoting ashleybgarcia:

Yeah , I think I've heard of this !



Quoting mommyames2:


Really? I have verizon. I will def be looking into that!



Quoting juniebug11:

I do think there is a way to view these on your cellphone bill, you may have to request it. But as long as your name is on the bill.
I know Verizon does it .


 




Posted on CafeMom Mobile
GagaNTattooS
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 7:38 PM
Thank you I am very happy o don't have to sneak and check his texts I don't care its not that important and most of all I trust him. Trust is kinda. The key point to a relationship

Quoting mommyames2:

Congratulations to you.


Quoting GagaNTattooS:

Meh. My husband sends about 4,000 texts a month I really don't care


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
mommyames2
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 7:38 PM

This is not about having female friends. I don't care who his friends are. If you don't care that your husband texts a women 500 times a day, hides in the bathroom to text and while he is at work ignores your texts and calls for another women. Then more power to ya. You are 1 in a million.

Quoting GagaNTattooS:

He has female friends yes I dont really care

Quoting atlmom2:

To women he used to work with?????




Quoting GagaNTattooS:

Meh. My husband sends about 4,000 texts a month I really don't care


mommyames2
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 7:40 PM

Yes, now take your happy self else where. Also, I assume you mean you work at a cell phone company. I am sure that the courts don't hire someone with such poor grammar. Have a nice day.

Quoting GagaNTattooS:

Thank you I am very happy o don't have to sneak and check his texts I don't care its not that important and most of all I trust him. Trust is kinda. The key point to a relationship

Quoting mommyames2:

Congratulations to you.


Quoting GagaNTattooS:

Meh. My husband sends about 4,000 texts a month I really don't care

 


eafowler76
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 7:42 PM

Whether or not there are personal things in this text, there would be a HUGE fight coming on if he told me "I'm not getting rid of her for you"!!!!!!

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