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Am I Wrong? ::Husband texting women from work: NEW UPDATE

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Backstory: Together 8 years, Married 6. 2 kids and were about to start TTC#3.

I decided to check online at our text message history, call it a hunch I had. In the past 6 days, my husband has been secretly texting a women who recently was fired from his place of employment. They have texted 1000 times in 6 days (yes I counted).

I told him about it and he told me it wasn't a secret, nothing is going on. He told me he isn't going to end his friendship with her for me. I am being dramatic. Well I was angry, upset, hurt.... So I posted on facebook (he said dramatic, I showed him dramatic). Well he CALLED her to tell her what I wrote on facebook. "She didn't deserve to be drug into this because you are mad at me." Thats what he told me.

This women has no job...Lost her kids (CPS came and took them). Real winner, yes.

He says that it is no different then me texting my friends. Ok I don't sneak off into another room to text, and my friends are female. He is only off once every 7 days. Instead of spending that time with his children, he has been texting her. One day they texted almost 500 times!!!!! I find this wrong in so many ways.

Please, tell me...Am I wrong to be upset?!

UPDATE #1::::::: We had a nice long talk after the kids went to bed last night. He still says it was nothing. I explained that I don't care if he has female friends but the way he went about it was ALL wrong.
I have no idea if we can/will work it out but, he did text her and say he can't talk to her anymore. I saw she updated on facebook this morning (before I logged onto his account and BLOCKED her) that its sad she can't be friends with him.

He also told me that 500 in one day was a lot. He said that if she texts him again he won't delete it and won't reply. Guess we will wait and see what happens.... Trust is gone though, not sure how you can come back.

UPDATE #2:::::::: This morning he was missing...I had no idea where he was. Phone was turned off. I googled her name, got her address.... And found him at her house.

So for the few who dissed me for being concerned. Are you still on his side?

UPDATE #3:::::::::: The past few days have been exhausting. I am emotionally drained and just very very confused. I have no idea what I am going to do yet. Even though the logical answer would be to leave. I just don't think I can bring myself to do that. As stupid as that might sound right now, I am not making an decisions until I have had time to think it through. Thank you everyone for your replies. I am reading through all of the new ones now.
Also, he still maintains he is innocent. It will take time, trust is lost. The $70 flowers were nice, but def NOT going to make up for what he has done.


by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 6:36 PM
Replies (41-50):
grownsexy
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 7:43 PM

The moment that you expressed discomfort that should have been the end. He is wrong. five hundred text is excessive. I don't care for texting, personally I perfer to talk on the phone. He must not have much to do who has time for all of that. I don't know anyone who has that much to text about. I smell a little rat. Talk to the man put your foot down or go to the spy shot and get a hold of them text. Good luck.

mommyames2
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 7:43 PM

Yeah that hurt. The fact he is choosing her over our family. That just isn't right...

Quoting eafowler76:

Whether or not there are personal things in this text, there would be a HUGE fight coming on if he told me "I'm not getting rid of her for you"!!!!!!


mommyames2
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 7:45 PM

He will be home in about 45 minutes. Once the kids are in bed... You better believe he will be explaining. He can hide his lies over the phone... But when we are face to face, lets see what he has to say.


 

Quoting grownsexy:

The moment that you expressed discomfort that should have been the end. He is wrong. five hundred text is excessive. I don't care for texting, personally I perfer to talk on the phone. He must not have much to do who has time for all of that. I don't know anyone who has that much to text about. I smell a little rat. Talk to the man put your foot down or go to the spy shot and get a hold of them text. Good luck.


lizzie_8690
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 7:46 PM
1 mom liked this
There is definitely something going on and if I were you I would get to the bottom of it. He should respect your feelings and shouldn't even be going behind your back to text her
I would be livid if my dh did this to me I should come first before anybody else period!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Oct. 3, 2012 at 7:46 PM
1 mom liked this
Female friends are ok. Texting 1000 times is no longer just a friend.


Quoting GagaNTattooS:

He has female friends yes I dont really care



Quoting atlmom2:

To women he used to work with?????






Quoting GagaNTattooS:

Meh. My husband sends about 4,000 texts a month I really don't care


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
A.J.s_mommy
by Bronze Member on Oct. 3, 2012 at 7:48 PM
I agree.

Quoting eafowler76:

Whether or not there are personal things in this text, there would be a HUGE fight coming on if he told me "I'm not getting rid of her for you"!!!!!!

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
alnilam
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 7:51 PM
2 moms liked this

if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck...........its a duck

the number of texts is just ridiculous hes acting like a teenager, maybe he gets a thrill out of having his little secret friend but he needs to grow up!

opal10161973
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 7:56 PM

That's BS!  I can't wait for his explanatin because it can't be good.  I mean, the very fact that he said he wouldn't give her up because of you, is ominous.

prinzesa_edith
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 7:56 PM
Hope you don't let him turn the table on you, stick to your guns!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
mommyames2
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 7:58 PM

He will be home in about 20 minutes. I will update as soon as I can. Kee you ladies posted on his new excuse.

Quoting opal10161973:

That's BS!  I can't wait for his explanatin because it can't be good.  I mean, the very fact that he said he wouldn't give her up because of you, is ominous.


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