Ok, so I'm a survivor of domestic violence. One night, shortly after I
turned 19, my mother and I were both shot in our home. She died from
her injuries. I nearly died from mine.
Now I have a daughter (will be 10 in Nov) and a son (turned 7 in June). All they know is that a bad man hurt my mom and me, and she isn't alive anymore. They know I was hurt very badly but am ok now. They also know he's in prison and will stay there the rest of his life. That's all they know.
My daughter is getting curious. She has asked me a few times for more details about what happened. I've told her that some day I'll tell her more. She wants to know when.
I don't know when. If you were in this position, what factors would you use to determine when your child is ready to learn what happened? How am I supposed to know when she'll be ready to handle it? I'm not in any hurry, but I think she deserves to know at some point.
Plus, I think it can serve as a learning opportunity as this was the result of someone with insufficient coping skills. I have always tried to (age-appropriately) teach her how to handle disappointment, how to be flexible when things don't go exactly how you wanted them to, that if a relationship doesn't work out like you hoped, there WILL be another person out there, etc.
Thanks for your input.