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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

MY CHILD'S FATHER STILL HAS FEELINGS FOR ME..........

Posted by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 9:26 PM
  • 8 Replies

Hey guys! I need some advice. My daughter's father and I are no longer together.( It's been 2 years since we''ve split)  He still has feelings for me. But I DO NOT have feelings for him what so ever. We have good communication when it comes to our child. And he is interested to know what goes on in my life. But I know Thats a sign for him wanting to be involved in my life. I have told him repeatedly that I wasnt in love with him. And I have moved on.  He says that he knows Ive told him a million times. But he does act like it. He has this false hope and every time he sees me he hugs me. I dont want to sound rude. But he's getting to close. And I want to move on and see other people.  And I do not want to get back with him.  What should I do to set more boundaries. Please Help

by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 9:26 PM
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Replies (1-8):
frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Oct. 6, 2012 at 9:41 PM

I would take a male friend the next time you see him so that he can see you are moving on since apparently you havent.   Be honest and blunt that there are no feelings and you do not like your personal space invaded whether it asking about personal things or hugging.

emmy526
by Silver Member on Oct. 6, 2012 at 10:29 PM

yes, start having a date nite with someone else, and make yourself unavailable to him, except for visitation, when you have no choice but to see/interact with him.   Keep it brief and platonic, and tell him if he can't do the same, he needs to consider professional help because his behavior is starting to make you uncomfortable.  If he won't comply with your requests to keep his distance, it may  be time to modify child visitation.

signingmama2915
by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 10:49 PM
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robyann
by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 11:03 PM

 Only talk to him about things that involve your child. If he brings up anything else, tell him you dont want to discuss your personal life with him, your only connection the two of you have is your child. If he asks you about anything other then your child, repeat the above. Be consistant in this, every single time, he'll get it eventually. But dont let your guard down, he may try again later, just do the same thing. Not rude or mean, just matter-of-factly. GL

CoeyG
by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 11:29 PM

Tell him that you will discuss only your child with him, that any questions he asks about your life are none of his business and you will not talk to him about your personal life.  

PINKmyfavcolor
by Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 12:43 PM

 I agree with this.

Quoting CoeyG:

Tell him that you will discuss only your child with him, that any questions he asks about your life are none of his business and you will not talk to him about your personal life.  

 

ida123
by on Oct. 17, 2012 at 1:40 AM
Have a boyfriend and introduce to him.
Its.me.Sam.
by Bronze Member on Oct. 17, 2012 at 1:42 AM

just behave in the way that is civil and with respect of your past together and daughter together.  tell him tht you are happy for the time you guys had together but that time is over and you want to be the best co-parents you can be.  i would just really limit the 'friendly' chats or being here to listen to his troubles etc...he needs to go somewhere else for comfort.
i know its hard to break away.   

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