I am a visiting grandmother who is frustrated when trying to interact with my 3 yr old grandson. "G" is active and smart, cute and has intense tantrums when things don't go his way. The frequency of his tantrums are 2-3 per day. He can be cheerful and warm and loving one minute and then suddenly his mood changes. He says "no" over and over, and then clenches his fists, becomes rigid, screams and will do this for a long period of time (sometimes 30 min....home or public), Frustration level is very low. He has been having these tantrum for at least 1 and 1/2 years. My daughter has 2 other older boys and their tantrums were not even near the intensity of the behavior and stubborness of this child. Usually I back off and tell him to see me when he is ready. With his mom, she cannot talk him into calmness or cooperation or do anything until he screams it out and ends it himeself. At times when she holds strong his mood will eventually change and he seems to act "sweet and cute" to get in her good graces. During this he demands to have his way and I think we tip toe around him trying not to trip the wire that fuses him. He is catered to by the entire family and of course this just doesn't seem right, but they have not found an approach that is effective with him. I know you don't give into the demands, but even that does not seem to help. I need to know what I can do to strengthen my relationship with him as a grandmother. My visits are only 3 or 4 times a year and I would love to hold him, read to him or participate with him and there have been few successes. Suppose there are just too many circumstance to relate. I am concerned and would very much like to enrich my relationship with little G but its difficult. Daughter has 1 son with ADHD.
on Oct. 7, 2012 at 7:18 AM