Am I expecting too much from a 4 year old? *kind of long story*

maybe you should try putting her in a dance class or something to build her confidence in what she can do..

amber, she might be terrified when you aren't around her and I feel for both you and your daughter.  When I was a child, I was scared of my own shadow.  My parents would go out on a date and I would cry, and cry.  It wasn't because they were leaving, but because I was scared.  When it was bedtime, my heart raced because I would be so afraid someone would come through the window and either kidnap me or kill me.  There are times I'm even afraid now.  Like others have said, I wouldn't allow your daughter to watch any part of any scary movie.  My husband watches scary movies with my daughter sometimes, but I have to leave the room.  I guess what I'm trying to say is that perhaps your daughter truly is scared and it's not an attention getting reaction.  Good luck to you and your daughter!   

OTHER-----my DD is 3 1/2 and could for awhile do these things alone.  there are times she wanted me to be with her upstairs and the last thing on my mind is that she is trying to get attention.  I assume she is a small child and could very well be afraid or uncomfortable. i don't judge my DD's feelings or fears and i sure don't punish her for them.  I find now on my 4th child that by not judging a child by an adult standard gives them the confidence to take on their fears because they know i support them and have their back if you will.  She JUST started going up to the bathroom and even turning the light on by herself now this last week because instead of bullying her and telling her how silly it was she was afraid or uncomfortable I just went with her until SHE was ready and wanted to "do it all myself Mommy"  I agree with your husband

If she really is afraid and not just trying to get attention, I would go see a kids counselor. Even one session may be enough. It could be from a shock of losing someone or something close to her that has caused it. could be a change in a family member's or friend's (if she goes to daycare or church or something) attitude or emotional state that made her fear something. and even if it is to just get attention counseling could really help with that as well. 4 year olds should be fine doing things on their own without fear. and sometimes a parents "knowledge that things are safe" just arent enough to help a child through their fears.sadly :/

I don't have the answer, I have the same problem. Eagerly waiting for a more experienced mom to answer

did you ask her where she got that idea from? what makes a clown scary? how would a stranger get in the house? and just keep asking questions. maybe get her to tell herself there really is nthing to be afraid of instead of you telling her that.

Quoting amber710:

I don't think you are crazy. I think you are being honest about what you think it could be and I appreciate that. I did sit down on her bed during the issue earlier and ask her what she thought there was to be afraid of. She said....

"There could be a stranger or a clown in my closet or something."

Quoting skylarkdancer:

I know ppl may make fun of me for saying this or say I'm crazy but I just want to mention this....my dh has been able to see things since he was a child. Children tend to be very sensitive to things like that especially. Have you asked her what she is seeing or is afraid of? I know a lot of ppl don't believe in this kind of thing but I do. Just try to be open and not judgmental about this theory. Good luck!

I think she's genuinely scared. My son does the same thing. I know my child well enough to know that it is real fear and panic in his eyes. His doctor said to be patient with him because things are different in the minds of four year-old kids than in the minds of us as adults.

I've heard this too, and I didn't think anything of it until I became a mother. We sleep in the room that used to be my Gran's (she passed in 2001). I was uncomfortable in her room because it still smelled like her. Anyway, when I had a cesarean, we used her room instead of my old room upstairs. When he was a baby, my son would stare at the door or a corner of the room, and laugh and giggle. It used to give me the chills. Now, he's 4, is freaked out by the upstairs (I was too when I was a kid. I slept with my Gran or on the couch until I was 14 because I was scared up there) and says that he has ghost friends. My Gran always said this house was haunted, and at night it sounds like someone is pacing upstairs. Anyways, that's my story.

Quoting skylarkdancer:

I know ppl may make fun of me for saying this or say I'm crazy but I just want to mention this....my dh has been able to see things since he was a child. Children tend to be very sensitive to things like that especially. Have you asked her what she is seeing or is afraid of? I know a lot of ppl don't believe in this kind of thing but I do. Just try to be open and not judgmental about this theory. Good luck!

My dd sees supernatural things, and I know she has since she was a baby, so I would say be open about it. However, that said empower your daughter, my dd is 2.5 and I encourage her to do things on her own. Not saying this will work with your dd, but sometimes my dd gets really freaked out day/nite, at home, in town about the "bad ones" and I remind her that doesn't she have her own angels. Then she pauses and looks at me, then looks around her and goes Ohhh yeah momma I forget sometimes, my angel army is stronger. I have had people tell me I need to stop her from believing in imaginary friends, ugh.

Her father is enabling her clinginess and her whinning.  She should have been able to be in a room by herself by the time she was two and of course she was going to throw a fit, she was a toddler.  Until her father let's go and ignores the fits she is going to be this way...and how is it going to look when she is a teen and her father is standing in her door watching her change her clothes?