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Can a 6 year old molest his siblings???

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For the last 6 months, my almost 6 year old stepson (who is at our home 50/50) has been caught touching himself in public and recently started touching his step-siblings and peaking on them in the bathroom as well as getting dressed. We have taken extreme measures like moving his bedroom to the opposite side of the house, putting Bells on his door, enrolling in therapy, rarely letting him out of our sight and even having a parent sleep in the other children's room.

He was caught yesterday rubbing my 5 year old's penis (above clothes). When he was caught, he explained that he wanted to touch my son's penis and so he waited until I was in the kitchen and then did it. It was premeditated, which is what scares me also. Last night, he admitted to touching my "baby" (the three year old on multiple occassions, as recent as this weekend, when he woke up and made sure that everyone was sleeping. He then went into my youngest son's room (where he was sleeping also) and woke him up by rubbing his penis. He told my son not to tell me, which my son agreed. :( It makes me sick and breaks my heart. These are two of many example... When my Stepson was explaining what he has done, he was very matter of fact and cold. He didn't seem remorseful at all.

I asked my Husband to allow my step son's biological Mom to care for him until we can get this under control. He clearly has too many temptations at our home and is targeting the younger kids. I am not sure if a this is considered molesting or if there are other issues. My step son has even gotten an erection from touching the other kids. My step son says that he thinks about touching my younger boys' privates every day.

Here is the issue: My husband thinks this is a slight over reaction and that we could handle this in home versus asking my step son's Mom to step in. He thinks that we can keep my step son in his bedroom for the majority of the time and watch him vigilantly while he is out of the bedroom. He wants me to forgive his son and give him a specificdate in which I think I can "move on" from this...

I am truly scared that his son will excalate and hurt my children more. I think he has done enough as it is.... I can't give a time frame as to when I will be "over this." I am angry, I am disgusted, I am so sad for my children... I am just wondering how others would react to this and if, in your oppinion, my reaction to this is justified or if it is an over-reaction.

If this were any other child, a kiddo at school or at daycare, I would be a Mama Bear and expect the preditor to be moved to a different class and have no contact with my children. I know this is slightly different but I am still just as concerned and upset. Thoughts please.... :(

 

UPDATE:

Thank you all for your posts. His Mom has agreed to take him full-time until we get this all figured out. My husband agrees that he is a threat to the rest of the children and that we need to find out the source of all of this and fix it before he comes home.

One person mentioned "If this were your son, would you ship him off" (or something along those lines)? Trust me, I have thought of that. I know how hard this is on my husband. My heart aches for him, for my kids, for myself. No one is taking this easy, of course. Please keep in mind that just because he is not biologically my son, that doesn't mean that I don't love him or that this isn't hard on me too. I am having a very hard time sending him to his Moms as well. He is part of this family... However, at the end of the day, do we keep him here (because maaaaaybe that is what is best for him) or do we protect the other three children and place him in a home for the time being that is also safe for him.

We believe that we have made the right decision... Thank you all again.

by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 11:42 AM
Replies (11-20):
budgie1117
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 12:02 PM
This is clearly more than just natural curiosity. He is getting something out of doing this. This is molestation, IMO. That child would be gone, without question, if it were happening to me and my boys.
Get some medical/psychological help for him ASAP.
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jenniferlee_12
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 12:05 PM

Where is he learning this from? That would be my biggest question. I wouldn't let him near my kids and your husband is wrong. This child needs help. Maybe he was molested. Don't back down because he needs help and if his dad wants to ignore it, then he needs someone to get him that help.

Kimberli3
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 12:07 PM

UPDATE:

Thank you all for your posts. His Mom has agreed to take him full-time until we get this all figured out. My husband agrees that he is a threat to the rest of the children and that we need to find out the source of all of this and fix it before he comes home.

One person mentioned "If this were your son, would you ship him off" (or something along those lines)? Trust me, I have thought of that. I know how hard this is on my husband. My heart aches for him, for my kids, for myself. No one is taking this easy, of course. Please keep in mind that just because he is not biologically my son, that doesn't mean that I don't love him or that this isn't hard on me too. I am having a very hard time sending him to his Moms as well. He is part of this family... However, at the end of the day, do we keep him here (because maaaaaybe that is what is best for him) or do we protect the other three children and place him in a home for the time being that is also safe for him.

I think we have made the right decision... Thank you all again.

atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 12:09 PM
Yes it is.
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erinsmom1964
by Gold Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 12:36 PM
Of course it is how can you think its not? I cant beleive the 2 of you kept subjecting the other chikdren to this. Now you have to worry about what those children will also do to others. This post is extremly disturbing. Let me ask you this. Have you warned his school? Do you allow him to go to others childrens homes without warning their parents? Daycare? ETC
Kimberli3
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 12:57 PM

You don't know what you are talking about... How judgemental can one person be.

We knew of ONE TIME up until this week. Rther than chalking the ONE time up to it being curiousity, we took huge steps to protect everyone. We had no idea that it was this big of an issue untilwe caught him (what we thought was the second time) yesterday and then he told us a whole host of different times. We immediately notified the school this morning and contacted his Mom. We have taken every precaution and how dare you try to blame us for this. I refused to be the parent tht turned a blind eye. I took this VERY VERY seriously as soon as I realized that this wasn't just regular curiousity. We spoke to a seasoned Child Psychologist and also a pediatrician when this happened the first time and they assured us that children have heightened hormones between 5-6 and so this curiousity is normal. Inspite of their oppinion, we took these drastic steps. We made it very clear to ALL children what is a good touch and what is a bad touch. We educated everyone involed... This was something that we thought he moved passed based on the child PSYCHOLOGIST's opinion and that of his pediatrician.

We could never have known and now that we do, he is out of the house, Please, tell me how you could have detected it when 1.) he didn't say anything about it 2.) The other children said nothing until we witnessed it recently 3.) every professional is telling us that the threat is gone and the phase has passed.

 

savingtheworld
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 12:58 PM
Has he ever been checked to have bipolar? There over sexual..its one of the signs..
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Kimberli3
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 1:03 PM


Quoting ColorMeCrazy:

He needs to go IMO. He needs therapy immediately and I wouldn't allow him in the home anymore. I'm not saying this to be mean, he just obviously has a problem and it's your job to protect your other children. He's planning this stuff out, meaning that he absolutely knows what he's doing. He needs to be removed from the home.


I don't know what IMO means...

robyann
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 1:03 PM

 I have read your update, and I guess your step son being at his mom's is good, at least for your other children. Your first concern was to protect the other children. Now that is done, you really need to figure out why your step son would do this, he is child, he would not just think of this on his own. Someone somewhere has molested him. Is there a step dad? Or mom's bf? Even an uncle, cousin or anyone that has spent any time with him. You have to figure this out asap, to protect your step son from his molester! I feel so bad for your children, all of them, this is so sad. I can only imagine how you and your dh are feeling. I hope you can get to the bottom of this soon and begin to heal your family.

erinsmom1964
by Gold Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 4:29 PM
Quoting Kimberli3:

You don't know what you are talking about... How judgemental can one person be.


We knew of ONE TIME up until this week. Rther than chalking the ONE time up to it being curiousity, we took huge steps to protect everyone. We had no idea that it was this big of an issue untilwe caught him (what we thought was the second time) yesterday and then he told us a whole host of different times. We immediately notified the school this morning and contacted his Mom. We have taken every precaution and how dare you try to blame us for this. I refused to be the parent tht turned a blind eye. I took this VERY VERY seriously as soon as I realized that this wasn't just regular curiousity. We spoke to a seasoned Child Psychologist and also a pediatrician when this happened the first time and they assured us that children have heightened hormones between 5-6 and so this curiousity is normal. Inspite of their oppinion, we took these drastic steps. We made it very clear to ALL children what is a good touch and what is a bad touch. We educated everyone involed... This was something that we thought he moved passed based on the child PSYCHOLOGIST's opinion and that of his pediatrician.


We could never have known and now that we do, he is out of the house, Please, tell me how you could have detected it when 1.) he didn't say anything about it 2.) The other children said nothing until we witnessed it recently 3.) every professional is telling us that the threat is gone and the phase has passed.


 




I asked you VALID questions that you hadnt covered. That you have to ASK if what he did is molestation is disturbing. I dont beleive for one second the incidents you described any professional would say is normal behavior. You knew it wasnt or you wouldnt of taken what you call extreme measures. Claiming bells on his doors and a parent sleeping in his room. No one who beleives its natural goes to all that trouble. You asked for opinons and choose to air your. families nasty laundry for everyone to see. My smpathy is with the smaller children who had a predator right under their own roof the one place in the world they should feel safe.
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