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Has anyone else almost died during childbirth? Closer to this child?

Posted by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 6:14 PM
  • 8 Replies

Just recently, my DS was born and under scary circumstances.  I have an 11 yr old DD, but I feel like I always want to be around my DS.  I am afraid the trauma may cause me to prefer him.  Will this change?  We both could have died, so I am wondering if my need to watch him constantly will subside, or will I forever feel this way...  I am feeling rather guilty.

by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 6:14 PM
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jillbailey26
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 6:20 PM
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I guess so.  I had severe preeclampsia.  To the point that I had to deliver 2 days after finding out.  They would've delivered her sooner, but she needed steroid shots to help develop her lungs.  I was 30 weeks along when she was born.  I also had excess fluid.  A ton!  If my water would have broken naturally, it could have also severely hurt or killed both of us.  Of course, no one told me until after the fact.  

She may be favored a little more, but she's also the only girl.  She's also the "baby" so she's got the double whammy going for her, lol.  We try not to, but sometimes it happens.  

I don't have that guilty feeling or the need to hover over her though.  Even though all of that happened, we ARE alive and healthy.  I don't dwell because that's what holds you back.  Live life, you're both okay.  


"Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification"  Romans 14:19

KRIZZ25
by Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 6:29 PM
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U NEED TO LET GO OF THE GILT ..
trilliandent42
by New Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 7:04 PM

Well, he was only born almost 3 weeks ago...  So, I am hoping to stop hovering, eventually...  lol.  I guess I should have included that in my question.  I am happy that we are both alive and doing very well, I am just having those 3am, "O, my G-d, I can't believe that happened" moments quite a bit.  He is also still on oxygen...

hip2it
by Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 7:45 PM
I had a bleeding issue and had to have a couple of transfusions. It was pretty sketchy for a little while. That pregnancy was with dd and her I'd twin, who was stillborn. I don't prefer dd over my other children but I do have a different bond with her.
Bmat
by Barb on Oct. 9, 2012 at 8:06 PM
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I suspect that the bond you have with a newborn is different from that of a pre-adolescent. It is part of nature.

crystal-boyd
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 9:16 PM
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When i had my dd they didnt know if either of us would make it. We both did obviously. She was prefect . She was a premi only three lb but the only issue she had was that she didn't have enough muscle to eat on her own so she had to have a feeding tube, which is very common for permis. I was ok but wasnt allowed out of my bed for three days. . But yes i felt the.same bond with her. It was like i was afraid she would vanish if i wasnt constantly by her side. But as her got older and others started taking her for visits it got easier to be apart from her. In no way did i love her any less. And we still have a very strong bond . .. I also recently had a baby boy hes six months now. And i had the sametype of worry. I thought that maybe i was more bonded with him becuz of breastfeeding. But not that hes older i know that it was just maternal instinct. It had to be y i felt closer to him. Because i loved them both the same i just felt a pull to him. I think its natural to feel the way u are.now.infants need there mommys . Ur morning noon and night when they're that little so ur gunna feel more bonded to him now . And this is when hes learning to bond with u so u feeling that heartwarming bond is a good thing. I know this is pointless to say cuz ur going to anyways but dont feel guilty. This is a nature instinct to help u bond with ur child. N dont worry balancing ur time between the two will get much easier. Hope i eased ur worry some . Congrats on ur new additon!
trilliandent42
by New Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 11:57 PM

Glad ur still here!  Were you dealing with D.I.C.?

Quoting hip2it:

I had a bleeding issue and had to have a couple of transfusions. It was pretty sketchy for a little while. That pregnancy was with dd and her I'd twin, who was stillborn. I don't prefer dd over my other children but I do have a different bond with her.


marinewife55
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 12:38 AM
I'm like that with my dd, during my whole pregnancy drs/nurses told me that I would lose her like I did my previous babies and that they didn't even kno how I got pregnant with her. Then her birth was the most traumatic thing I have ever went through and I did not know if either of us were going to make it. For the first three months, I barely slept because I was so afraid of losing her. Even now she's 2.5 and I kno its not true, but sometimes I feel like its too good to be true and is it borrowed time. She's my only child though, so I'm not sure about multiple children kind of thing. But I kno me and my dd have a super special bond.
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