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Am I being childish or do I have a right to be pissed??

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Ok, so my husband is a spur of the moment kinda guy while I like things to be planned. Well, today I planned on taking kids to get flu shots, pumpkin patch and clothes shopping which he knew a wk ago about. SO this morning I get up clean house and get ready. Then he tells me he's going to stay home while I go and clean yard and garage. Yeah ok fine I kinda expected that. Then he goes on to tell me that he's invited people over tonight to watch football and grill steaks. Wth??! Yes I'm the wife and mother so of course I'll be expected to entertain and clean up everyone's mess after I just cleaned my entire house. So I tell him I won't be here. Let me just add that I absolutely hate entertaining 2 birthdays a yr are enough!! I had rather be alone than in a room full of ppl and that's just me. Anyway I just got home from a very long and exhausting day the kids were tired so I put them in bed and I'm laying in my bed (their beds are in our room) while my husband is outside with guests. I know they think I'm being a bitch but I really dont care. This wasn't planned and I'm tired I'm recovering from a wreck and ruptured cyst so yeh I'm in a little pain also. So anyway would u think I was being a bitch or do I have a right to be?? Be honest.
by on Oct. 13, 2012 at 8:40 PM
Replies (11-20):
lilbit04
by on Oct. 13, 2012 at 9:07 PM
I beg to differ on that one...hubby has his friends and I have my friends, if he wants to invite ppl over fine bug I'm not picking up after then and I don't feel the need to socialize with them if I chose not to. I don't think she is being bitchy, I think she is sore an tired and wants time to herself which is not a big deal.


Quoting IheartPEACOCKS:

There really is no separation of your friends and mine in a marriage. And they're in her house, she doesn't have to entertain them but she is right that they probably think she's bitchy for avoiding everyone


Quoting offrdngal:

 I don't agree with this at all.  They are not her guests, they are her husbands guests.  She doesn't owe them an explanation. 


I'd be willing to bet that they don't even care that she isn't "entertaining" them.


Quoting IheartPEACOCKS:


IDK if you're right or not, but it is rude to ignore the guests. At the very least explain why you're going to leave them to go to bed


 



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
momtotwo08
by Member on Oct. 13, 2012 at 9:08 PM
Quoting mamakin616:

Why is at that you think you are being bitch??? He's a grown man...if He wants to have people over to watch a football game and cook them steak why do you have to be in the middle of it?? It's not anything you planned and you didn't invite them . I wouldn' feel bad about it. I wouldn't clean up after all of them either. His party His guests His mess. If he says something about it remind him of what the plans actually were and that he dumped this on the entire family. If I were you I'd be pissed that he pulled this crap to start with and let you clean everything by yourself was wrong.


well bc I'm friends with them too. And everytime we have guests I always get stuck cleaning everyones messes and picking toys up all over the house. It would be different had I known sooner but he just popped it up knowing u already had plans today.
offrdngal
by Terri on Oct. 13, 2012 at 9:09 PM
1 mom liked this

 lilbitbit04...you beat me to it.  This is what I was getting ready to say.

Quoting lilbit04:

I beg to differ on that one...hubby has his friends and I have my friends, if he wants to invite ppl over fine bug I'm not picking up after then and I don't feel the need to socialize with them if I chose not to. I don't think she is being bitchy, I think she is sore an tired and wants time to herself which is not a big deal.


Quoting IheartPEACOCKS:

There really is no separation of your friends and mine in a marriage. And they're in her house, she doesn't have to entertain them but she is right that they probably think she's bitchy for avoiding everyone


Quoting offrdngal:

 I don't agree with this at all.  They are not her guests, they are her husbands guests.  She doesn't owe them an explanation. 


I'd be willing to bet that they don't even care that she isn't "entertaining" them.


Quoting IheartPEACOCKS:


IDK if you're right or not, but it is rude to ignore the guests. At the very least explain why you're going to leave them to go to bed


 

 


 

jamieharper08
by on Oct. 13, 2012 at 9:11 PM

Not at all. You'd be a bitch if you were ruining their good time by being out there and not wanting to be bothered.

rockabillybetty
by on Oct. 13, 2012 at 9:16 PM
Its your house do what you want you owe nobody an explanation for anything. They're his guests not yours. And have him clean up after his guests that you never planned to have in the first place
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
-PB
by Gold Member on Oct. 13, 2012 at 9:17 PM

 If it were me...I don't think I'd be pissed but I don't know that I would want to "hang out" with guests that I didn't invite after a long day either.  I would say hi to them to avoid being rude and tell them I had a long day so I'm going to bed and tell dh to make sure he cleans up.  No big deal.

momtotwo08
by Member on Oct. 13, 2012 at 10:21 PM
Well, I ended up asking them if they wanted to come inside (they were in husbands shop) and explained that I wasn't trying to be rude but I don't feel very well and my little one is coughing so didn't wanna leave him. So we chatted for a while and they just left. Hubby has yet to clean his mess and he assured me he will, so we shall see! #wish I wasn't such a neat freak sometimes!!
buttersworth
by Bronze Member on Oct. 13, 2012 at 10:31 PM

If you yellled at or were snoddy to the guests, I would think that's a little off...but I don't think you did anything wrong at all. Your husband wanted guests, he can entertain them and clean up from them. You took care of the kids all day, and you wanted to sleep. Good for you. Now I hope there's no mess for you when you get up in the morning!

CoeyG
by on Oct. 13, 2012 at 10:34 PM

I wouldn't have married a man who was such a diametrically opposite to myself to begin with.   That way I wouldn't have this problem.  While I can understand your points I also have to say it is his home too and he is just as entitled to enjoy his evening as you are your's.  I think the two of you at least need to communicate a bit better about how you want to spend your weekends at least. 

momtotwo08
by Member on Oct. 13, 2012 at 11:14 PM
1 mom liked this
Quoting CoeyG:

I wouldn't have married a man who was such a diametrically opposite to myself to begin with.   That way I wouldn't have this problem.  While I can understand your points I also have to say it is his home too and he is just as entitled to enjoy his evening as you are your's.  I think the two of you at least need to communicate a bit better about how you want to spend your weekends at least. 


I'm so happy for you and that your marriage is all glitter and butterflies and we communicate fine but as I stated he's a spur of the moment person while I like things to be planned out which works for us bc we find ways to meet in the middle. And I like his spontaneity just like he likes me planning things out so it works for us. I think I did the right thing by inviting them inside to let them know why I didn't come out and my boys were in the next room snoozing, so everybodys happy ;)
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