Need an outlet & advice - bedtimes, alone time & more
I know I'm not the only one dealing with this, so I am hoping some of you have some advice.
First, I have a 6yo & a 2yo who will not sleep through the night. I have had only a few nights' uninterrupted sleep in over 6 years. Both kids insist on being "snugged" until they go to sleep. Then, if I don't crash with them due to utter exhaustion, they wake up in the middle of the night to come find me & ask me to either come sleep with them (in the double bed in our spare bedroom) or to climb in bed with me & hubby. So, nobody gets a full night's sleep. I have tried night-lights, strings of Xmas lights in their rooms, music, reading stories to them until they fall asleep, making sure they are not to warm/cold.....nothing seems to work. Lately, the issue with the 6yo has been dealing with the recent abductions of kids around our area. Totally understandable that she'd have nightmares about being kidnapped or about her siblings being kidnappes (I have a step-daughter as well). However, this behavior is not new for her.
Second, how the hell do you get time to yourself? My kids are very "Mommy do" & won't let my hubby watch them, snug them, hang with them (unless it's to go shopping or to the park to play). They are very clingy & needy & "Mommy, you hurry back fast as you can." "Mommy, I just wanted to know where you were." Won't let me pee in peace, "take me with you", "come sit with me" all the time. Literally. I try to explain that Mommy needs some alone time to re-charge or to meditate or do yoga or whatever....and they steam-roll me. "I'll meditate with you. I'll climb on you while you do yoga. I'll do yoga with you." I don't know what to do, b/c when I get frustrated & snap at them, they assume I don't love them/don't want them.
Unfortunately, all of our family lives out of state. We have no babysitters we can call. My husband & I rarely get a moment to ourselves. My husband has friends he meets with a couple of times a month or so, but since the 2yo was born, I have lost touch with all my friends & since I don't have anyone to watch the kids, I have no outlet to vent/talk/get away for a bit.
I feel like I'm in a pressure cooker. Does anybody else have these issues? How do you deal? I have a part-time job working with my husband in our business, but I have to take the 2yo with me b/c we can't afford child care currently, so it's still not much of a break. Any other suggestions? How do you keep from cracking up?