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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

death and a 5 y/o

Posted by on Oct. 15, 2012 at 10:30 PM
  • 10 Replies
Last night my granny passed away from cancer it wasn't a long battle but it was very hard, my dd knows death but she can't express her feeling a like adults can any help with this
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by on Oct. 15, 2012 at 10:30 PM
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Replies (1-10):
piwife
by on Oct. 15, 2012 at 10:33 PM
You can help her by telling her how she feels by drawing. Let her mourn her own way. And sorry for the loss
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lovinmama411
by on Oct. 15, 2012 at 10:35 PM

My 5 year old is so fascinated with death. My stepmom's mom, his "granny" passed away a few weeks ago. I didn't take him to the funeral or anything, but I did tell him she died and what happend (cancer). Since then it has been a million questions "why did they bury her?"   "do you think she has turned to a skeleton yet?"  "do little kids die?"    "are you suppose to die in your bed?"   "how old do you get before you die?"    "why do people die?"   it has been alot of questions since it happened and I don't have much of a clue on how to answer all this, lol.

Sorry about your granny, if you are religious maybe you can use that in some subtle way. I am not religious so I don't use that and it makes it a little harder I think, I really do want to tell him when you die you just go to heaven and everything is perfect, but I can't bring myself to do it. At the same time I hate seeing him so concerned, so IDK!

atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Oct. 15, 2012 at 10:38 PM
I went to my great grandmas funeral when I was 5. Death is a part of life and I wasn't shielded and I never shielded my girls.
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lextjmom0709
by on Oct. 15, 2012 at 10:40 PM
I am religious I did.tell her people go to heaven I kind of explained to her about death in 2009 when my.sister passed but she was 2 almost 3 but its harder now she was really close to my granny
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mommyof11050307
by Bronze Member on Oct. 15, 2012 at 10:40 PM

We lost my husband's father and grandfather this year. We took both of our kids to the funeral. They were 4 and 6 with their great grandfather and 6 and 5 with my FIL. We were honest and up front with them about everything. They didn't really ask questions about how or why it happened. 

lextjmom0709
by on Oct. 15, 2012 at 10:41 PM
I was shielded from that when I was little but I take them to family funerals not many others


Quoting atlmom2:

I went to my great grandmas funeral when I was 5. Death is a part of life and I wasn't shielded and I never shielded my girls.

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bowhunter2012
by on Oct. 15, 2012 at 10:42 PM
When i was seven my dad passed away. I remember parts of it. I was told he went to heaven, but i dont think i really understood all of it. I just remember playing with all the family that came. For me it was a big deal to talk about stuff. Just be there for her. Like other people said let her draw. That might help. Sorry for your loss.
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ELFs_Mommy
by Bronze Member on Oct. 15, 2012 at 10:46 PM
Just be there for her. We lost my Grandma February of last year. She and my oldest DD (then 5) were very close. I explained to her that GG (her special name for her- short for Great Grandma) had been blessed with a long and happy life, and that it was time for her to go to heaven and meet God and Jesus. She still has days even now where I'll catch her holding GGs picture & music box and crying. All you can really do is let her know its ok to feel sad, but try to help her remember that your Ganny isn't in pain anymore and that she would want you guys to be happy for that.
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crwspringer
by Silver Member on Oct. 15, 2012 at 10:47 PM
My dd was 4 when my MIL passed away. We were all at hospice with her for 5 days so it gave her chances to ask questions.
I explained that the doctor could not get rid of the kind of sick that grandma had. I told her that when she died that grandmas heart and soul went to heaven where it would not be sick anymore, but also couldn't come back.
Lastly I told her that grandma would always be in her heart and she could talk to her anytime. Grandma can't talk back, but she is always listening.
I also told her that the wake and funeral were grandmas going away party.
Not sure this was helpful, but that was how I handled the situation.
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CoeyG
by on Oct. 15, 2012 at 10:51 PM

How are you expecting her to express her feelings?  There is no right or wrong way one needs to feel when someone has passed. 

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