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Dealing with religious Mother-in-law

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My mother-in-law is Christian and very outspoken with her beliefs. She is actively involved with the church and will  throw scripture into any conversation. My husband was raised this way, however he does not live a Christian life and we do not attend church. I was raised Christian, but stopped going to church in middle school and I do not consider myself religious at all.

Latley, my mother-in-law has been asking me some very personal questions in regards to our 5 month old son. For example, "What will you do if he is gay?" "How are you going to discipline him." I gave her my honest answers for both questions, telling her I will love him no matter what if he is gay and I believe homosexuality starts from birth. Her response was giving me a bunch of scripture and how homosexuality is not God's plan. 

I know the day is coming when she is going to ask me how we are going to raise our son in terms of religon/faith. I am looking for advice on how to approach this topic. I do not want to direspect her, but at the same time I want her to know we are not raising him to be Christian and I really do not want her to start taking him to church and telling him Christianity is what he has to believe. My husband says he agrees our son can make his own choice as he gets older, but doesn't see the harm in putting him in sunday school as a yoiung child just for some guidance. That is something we are working through as parents. 

My husband has told me I should just tell his mother what I believe, but of course that is easy for him to say because he has dealt with her his whole life. She is a very loud, opinionated and pushy woman. 

Not sure how to approach this topic. She can be very intimidating. 

by on Nov. 4, 2012 at 8:47 PM
Replies (11-16):
by on Nov. 5, 2012 at 10:12 AM

My response would be "I respect the fact that you are religious, I expect you to respect thet fact I am not" Or something along those lines. Turn the tables to make her look like the jerk. 

by on Nov. 5, 2012 at 10:16 AM
Tell her you plan on finding a relaxed open church for possible Sunday school (if anything it's good for socialization) but all choices as far as religion will be his call when he is old enough to make an educated decision. Put your foot down that her church will not be the one because it sounds as though her churh is pretty umm intense?
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by on Nov. 5, 2012 at 10:46 AM

I understand how you feel,I have family members who also attend certain churches,and they all hink that thier chosen religion or churches beliefs are the only way to live and raise kids.I didn't like how they would say certain things in front of my kids ,such as things involving gay or lesbian lifestyles being against Gods will,and that those who live this way are sinners and will be punished.In-laws ,aunts ,uncles ..I don't care who they are ..have no right to say these things to someone elses kids and try and drill in them that they would be evil if they chose certan paths in life.I made it clear to everyone that my childrens religious beleifs or what some considered a lack of ...was not anyones business or place to discuss.If I caught anyone trying to tell them anything about such ,they would o longer be welcome around the kids.That it is our own personal and private business and if we feel the need to discuss it ,it would be os who would bring it up. After that we were left alone,some were not to happy about it..but I'm not trying to win thier approval ,I'm trying to raise my kids and have my families rights respected.

by Member on Nov. 5, 2012 at 1:13 PM

Bump for similar problem.

by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 8:24 PM

If she asks, you really need to set the boundaries and tell her straight out that this is your child and you will be raising your child the way you see fit. 

by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 8:42 PM

Your husband is right.  Why on earth would you want to lie to her?  Deceit is disrespectful, not honesty.  She raised her child this is your child and you have the right to raise him as you choose an if she asks you have the right to let her know that you will raise him as you choose

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