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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

Dead beat dad and don't know what to do

Posted by on Nov. 6, 2012 at 12:02 AM
  • 32 Replies

My ex husband is the father of my children unfortianatly he is not a good father. He has not paid child support in months because he quit his job for his girlfriend. He keeps dating this woman that is my brothers baby momma.  My brother and this woman was just over at my house together and they were in a relationship talking about wedding.. This is not the first time this has happened, she left my brother for my ex again. Well when him and her get together he stops paying child support and ignores his kids. Well my children know that she was just, I mean not even the day before the sudden switch in men, here with my brother and they know that she is their cousins mother. Well now they are all upset and freaking cause he has stopped calling, only wants visitation if I already have them in bed. He started yelling at me in front of the children over the phone screaming and yelling cause he wanted me to give them thier nighttime meds and let them go to sleep so he can come over and get them while they were asleep. I asked him politly on several occasions that until the children were more emotionally stable with everything to pls not include them in his relationship. I have sole physical custody and so it would only be when he bothers to come get them. He had his brother call me and lecture me about not letting her come to my sons birthday party and he refuses to come to his sons birthday after telling him he would come cause I will not invite her. The doctor has had to put my kids on meds to help with their anxiaty and this is all due to him acting the way he is over this one woman. I mean litterally she dates my brother for a couple of months and then my ex and it is just sending the kids for a loop on top of him disowning his kids cause she says she don't like my kids. I mean it is just getting insane he won't even call them unliess I am willing to let her back in my house. I don't think it is right at all. i don't know what to do. On the one hand I believe all kids need their dad but on the other I am so tired of seeing them cry but even when I do what he asks he still acts this way and igmores them. Any advise pls?

by on Nov. 6, 2012 at 12:02 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Kaya529
by Member on Nov. 6, 2012 at 12:05 AM
I got nothing, sorry.



That must be horrible for the kids. I hope you guys get it figured out.
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Chrystal1984
by on Nov. 6, 2012 at 12:07 AM

I cry almost every night cause they hurt so bad

sleepymommy87
by on Nov. 6, 2012 at 12:09 AM
4 moms liked this
Kids without dads grow up happier than kids with shitty manipulative shady dead beat dads. At least that's my experience with it.
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Chrystal1984
by on Nov. 6, 2012 at 12:14 AM

well my options are to petition for removal of parenting time pending a psyych evaluation, I can have his visitation monotered by a court appointed social worker, I can file a no contact order against her on their behalf and hope it turns out for the best. I just don't wanna hurt them more

Chelsey191
by Member on Nov. 6, 2012 at 12:22 AM
2 moms liked this
This. I had a shit dad was stuck in the middle of crap like that and I truly believe it would have been better not to have him around at all. Ds father turned out to be much the same, and he has no part of ds life. It would be ideal to have a father for him, but full grown men who act like children, lack responcibility and are endlessly selfish are not fathers. Instead I have family who are consistent positive male rolemodels for him. The love and support him.


Quoting sleepymommy87:

Kids without dads grow up happier than kids with shitty manipulative shady dead beat dads. At least that's my experience with it.

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MissTacoBell
by Silver Member on Nov. 6, 2012 at 12:26 AM
1 mom liked this
He's not going to one day be the perfect dad out of the blue. And if he decides he wants to, who is to say he won't do it all again?

I'd cut all ties, it's more fair to them in the long run even if it doesn't seem so now.
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Chrystal1984
by on Nov. 6, 2012 at 12:27 AM

I had a shit dad to. But I had a wonderful step dad and I am getting remarried to a man he has been my best friend for 14 years we have been together for a year and he loves the kids and the kids love him. He don't wanna take the idiots place but any father like that don't have a place anyway. I know if I remove her he will follow till the end of time so maybe I just need to file a no contact order and that would give me time to take him to court


savingtheworld
by on Nov. 6, 2012 at 8:52 AM
1 mom liked this
Here's an idea..if he's a dead beat, y the hell do u care? How bout get on with your life, an stop depending on him!
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Acid
by Silver Member on Nov. 6, 2012 at 9:48 AM
2 moms liked this

This would be far easier to read with paragraphs and punctuation.

firespurity
by Member on Nov. 6, 2012 at 9:51 AM
I would say cut him out, but his lady is involved off and on with your brother.. Idk
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