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what do i do?? will he ever leave ?????

Posted by on Nov. 8, 2012 at 10:48 AM
  • 12 Replies
Ok so I'm in a relationship with my bestfriend of 8yrs .... we got together 5 months ago .... my exboyfriend doesn't have anywhere to move to ..... he was "looking" for a place and I was tryin to b patient ... I don't wanna kick him to the streets ..... I do care about him still just not in "that way" .... soooo my boyfriend moved in with me mid august ... my ex said he was gonna b gone by the time my bf moved in .... then it was "ill b out in a wk" then "ill b out by the end of the month" now I don't know if he is ever gonna leave !!!! He has given me $100 since mid august and doesn't do anything to help around the house .... he works 3rd shift so I barely see him and gets along great with my boyfriend ... BUT ..... THIS IS MY HOME I WANT HIM GONE !!!!!!!!!! I know he has nowhere to go and no friends .... not tryin to b mean just bein honest ....... I don't wanna kick him to the street but I don't wanna b nice anymore .......... any advise????
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by on Nov. 8, 2012 at 10:48 AM
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Bmat
by Barb on Nov. 8, 2012 at 10:50 AM
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It seems that you are enabling him. Tell him he has by the end of the week (or month) to get out and that you will need to put his things out and change the locks at that point.

anotherandree
by Inga on Nov. 8, 2012 at 10:53 AM

I would give him a time frame.  You are not "kicking him to the street" if you say to him that he has until the 1st of next month to find another place.  Give him time to actually find a place (giving him a week would suck), but not enough time for excuses.  I think 1 month notice is plenty.

On another note, is it your pattern to let guys move in quickly?  I mean, you are trying to get you ex out, have not dated you new bf for that long (although I realize that you have been friends for a long time), and you guys are already living together.  My advice?  Learn from this when you want to let another guy live with you.

Had3girls
by on Nov. 22, 2012 at 3:10 PM
2 moms liked this

FYI  ......... I flipped on him and he left the next day  =)      thank God i have my HOME back  =)

CoeyG
by on Nov. 22, 2012 at 6:55 PM

You are obviously enabling him.  If you want him out tell him to get out period.  Research homeless shelters in your area and give him a list of them.  The only way he is going to leave is if you tell him to leave.  And don't wait for him to pay anything lese either.   FYI if you are renting this place and he is not on the lease you run the risk of being evicted yourself.  By law all adults over the age of 18 have to be on a lease.  Hopefully your boyfriend is, if not, you need to go see your landlord.  

brownhoney21
by Member on Nov. 22, 2012 at 7:01 PM

 Make a contract with a date he is to be out and have him sign it.

navewife
by Member on Nov. 22, 2012 at 7:05 PM
He left so now just make sure he dont come back.lol
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robyann
by on Nov. 22, 2012 at 7:07 PM

 He is using you. He has a job, you said he works third shift, so he could have been saving up for a place of his own. I'd give him 30 days, IN WRITING, and tell him if he isn't out in 30 days, he will be put out by the sheriff. Sounds like you are feeling sorry for him, but that's what he is playing on. He is a grown man, he has a job, he should not be free loading off his ex gf!

typingMom to 6~MawMaw to 9 & counting!

Bmat
by Barb on Nov. 22, 2012 at 9:07 PM

As difficult as it is, tell him end of the week or month, and that he will leave by then because you are getting the locks changed.

savingtheworld
by on Nov. 23, 2012 at 8:26 AM
Uhh if he lives there legally he has 30 days to move out..he could break all your windows an there would b nothing u could do about it..


Quoting CoeyG:

You are obviously enabling him.  If you want him out tell him to get out period.  Research homeless shelters in your area and give him a list of them.  The only way he is going to leave is if you tell him to leave.  And don't wait for him to pay anything lese either.   FYI if you are renting this place and he is not on the lease you run the risk of being evicted yourself.  By law all adults over the age of 18 have to be on a lease.  Hopefully your boyfriend is, if not, you need to go see your landlord.  


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Had3girls
by on Nov. 23, 2012 at 3:54 PM
My Landlord knows exactly who lives here and he doesn't have to b pn tje lease that's not the law here and my ex left finally ....
I posted that yesterday



Quoting CoeyG:

You are obviously enabling him.  If you want him out tell him to get out period.  Research homeless shelters in your area and give him a list of them.  The only way he is going to leave is if you tell him to leave.  And don't wait for him to pay anything lese either.   FYI if you are renting this place and he is not on the lease you run the risk of being evicted yourself.  By law all adults over the age of 18 have to be on a lease.  Hopefully your boyfriend is, if not, you need to go see your landlord.  


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