Quoting Sheilamommyof3:This is my daughter rashel..she is 4 and has alopecia and lost her hair when she was 18mnths. If u have questions or just wna talk feel free to email me :-)
NO ONE is saying that if this child does have a disease (which has not yet been confirmed), that the parents should not be upset, or worried, or that is will not "affect her".
What we ARE saying is that while we all know folks (kids in particular) can be mean, most folks, will not "make fun" of a child with a disease.
Especially if they are educated about the disease.
What we are also saying is that with a child this young, if the parents act like their child is "different" or "not right", the child will pick up on that, and start seeing themselves as being somehow wrong because they "look different".
I agree with Sabrtooth - get a diagnosis FIRST - before you start worrying about what "could be".
If - NOT when - you get a diagnosis of alopecia areata, you can then start working with the doctor, and a therapist, to help your daughter.
Aside from folks with hair loss due to cancer, I have known a young girl who had alopecia areata universalis. While alopecia areata is patchy loss of scalp hair, alopecia areata universalis is the complete loss of all body hair, including eyebrows, and eyelashes.
This girl was the younger sister of a girl in my son's class. She wore hats, and scarves, on her head most of the time. However, on occasion, she did come to school "au natural".
When she started in school, there was some speculation by parents that she might be suffering from the side effects of cancer treatments. Her parents asked for permission for them, and their daughter, to speak to the entire school at a school assembly. The mom explained that their daughter was not suffering from a life threatening disease. She explained the disease their daughter had. The young girl explained how it affected her, and that the other kids should not feel bad for her, or afraid of her. It was simply how she was.
NOT ONCE, did any of the kids in the school make fun of this girl.
As she got older, and hit her pre-teen/teen years, she did start to feel a bit self conscious (don't most teen girls?). At this point her parents got her a nice wig.
At 20+ years old, she still wears wigs, hats, and scarves.
She is also one very self-confident young women.
That is, as they say, the crux of the matter. No matter what her problem is (even if there really is no problem), this young girl's parents need to make sure she grows up with a strong, healthy, positive, self-image.
Quoting sabrtooth1:Go to the dermatologist. Find out exactly is going on. I've known several kids who were bald, and they wore scarves or wigs, and NO ONE made fun of them. Of course, they were bald because they had cancer. Being bald because of alopecia, or a dermatological disorder, is far preferable. And stop making this a big deal. It will only be upsetting for your daughter if YOU continue to act upset.
A good friend of mine in high school had the disease, most people didn't even know. I only saw her get teased about it once and the girl that did it had the rest of her school jumping down her throat for being such a bitch. She's married with kids now and she had a very normal high school experience to include a super hot BF :) While it will be hard, it doesn't mean her life will be lacking!
If it is alopecia areata, then the mother doesn't need to stress over it. If she stresses and the daughter gets stressed, that can worsen the condition.
Quoting Elyssa414:
I'm sorry, but as a mother of a child who has had 4 massive brain surgeries and been seriously ill, I find it really sad and mean when mothers to tell other mothers not to be upset or sad or worried about what their kids are going through just because its not catastrophic. :/
Just because she doesn't have cancer doesn't mean it won't affect her to be "different" from her peers in a society that is so focused on looks.
OP- I hope you get some answers, and I hope that if she is permenantly affected, you both become stronger, more gracious people because of it! *HUGS*
Quoting sabrtooth1:
Go to the dermatologist. Find out exactly is going on. I've known several kids who were bald, and they wore scarves or wigs, and NO ONE made fun of them. Of course, they were bald because they had cancer. Being bald because of alopecia, or a dermatological disorder, is far preferable. And stop making this a big deal. It will only be upsetting for your daughter if YOU continue to act upset.
Quoting nuts4scouts:NO ONE is saying that if this child does have a disease (which has not yet been confirmed), that the parents should not be upset, or worried, or that is will not "affect her".
What we ARE saying is that while we all know folks (kids in particular) can be mean, most folks, will not "make fun" of a child with a disease.
Especially if they are educated about the disease.
What we are also saying is that with a child this young, if the parents act like their child is "different" or "not right", the child will pick up on that, and start seeing themselves as being somehow wrong because they "look different".
I agree with Sabrtooth - get a diagnosis FIRST - before you start worrying about what "could be".
If - NOT when - you get a diagnosis of alopecia areata, you can then start working with the doctor, and a therapist, to help your daughter.
Aside from folks with hair loss due to cancer, I have known a young girl who had alopecia areata universalis. While alopecia areata is patchy loss of scalp hair, alopecia areata universalis is the complete loss of all body hair, including eyebrows, and eyelashes.
This girl was the younger sister of a girl in my son's class. She wore hats, and scarves, on her head most of the time. However, on occasion, she did come to school "au natural".
When she started in school, there was some speculation by parents that she might be suffering from the side effects of cancer treatments. Her parents asked for permission for them, and their daughter, to speak to the entire school at a school assembly. The mom explained that their daughter was not suffering from a life threatening disease. She explained the disease their daughter had. The young girl explained how it affected her, and that the other kids should not feel bad for her, or afraid of her. It was simply how she was.
NOT ONCE, did any of the kids in the school make fun of this girl.
As she got older, and hit her pre-teen/teen years, she did start to feel a bit self conscious (don't most teen girls?). At this point her parents got her a nice wig.
At 20+ years old, she still wears wigs, hats, and scarves.
She is also one very self-confident young women.
That is, as they say, the crux of the matter. No matter what her problem is (even if there really is no problem), this young girl's parents need to make sure she grows up with a strong, healthy, positive, self-image.
Quoting Nicsone:
And I will. I was simply looking for a mom who has been here. I do not make a big deal out of it with her. She is three and she doesn't care, I just do her hair so it covers the bigger spot for now. I came on here looking for advice, that's it
Please keep in mind that advise comes in all forms, some we might not agree with, yet it can still be valid.
You asked for been there advise, that is what I, and others, have given you.
Quoting offrdngal:If it is alopecia areata, then the mother doesn't need to stress over it. If she stresses and the daughter gets stressed, that can worsen the condition.
Quoting Elyssa414:
I'm sorry, but as a mother of a child who has had 4 massive brain surgeries and been seriously ill, I find it really sad and mean when mothers to tell other mothers not to be upset or sad or worried about what their kids are going through just because its not catastrophic. :/
Just because she doesn't have cancer doesn't mean it won't affect her to be "different" from her peers in a society that is so focused on looks.
OP- I hope you get some answers, and I hope that if she is permenantly affected, you both become stronger, more gracious people because of it! *HUGS*
Quoting sabrtooth1:
Go to the dermatologist. Find out exactly is going on. I've known several kids who were bald, and they wore scarves or wigs, and NO ONE made fun of them. Of course, they were bald because they had cancer. Being bald because of alopecia, or a dermatological disorder, is far preferable. And stop making this a big deal. It will only be upsetting for your daughter if YOU continue to act upset.
my mom and my aunt had it. i was terrified growing up with every stray hair that it may heppen to me! my mom grew up in the 60's, i don't remember her ever talking about being picked on for that though. i think aside from always having very cool hair accessories (hats, scarves, etc), if she does have it, you will face challenges on how to handle things at every step of the game as she grows and matures.
how long did you wait for another?
- Nicsone
on Nov. 11, 2012 at 5:49 PM