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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

Should I stay or should I go???

Posted by on Nov. 11, 2012 at 7:19 PM
  • 58 Replies

Well I moved back to Michigan to be with my family because we have a larger number of family members here rather than im Pennsylvania (we meaning my husband, my daughter and I) but we have been here since July and have yet to find a job that can support us so we are with my mom. I have had some negative feed back about being with my mom and complaining but im to the point where I can not mentally take it anymore but I do not know what to do, on one side of my mind I think we should stay here and try and stick it out and the other side of my mind says to go where we can get financial help from my mother in law until we can make it on our own but my husband and I had to go and complicate things by getting pregnant again, and i know that we should have waited so please leave it to me to say that. I already know that while living with family is not the time nor place for it. but the fact of the matter is that its done and over with and im pregnant so that aside, I dont know if we should go back or not, here in Michigan we are staying with my mom in her 2 bedroom home with three other people. If we go back to PA where we moved from just 4 short months ago we could move in with his mom and step dad that have a spair room for us and another spair room for my daughter, while we cant stay their perminently because I do not get along with my brother-in-laws wife we would be able to move out with in a couple of months and still have enough time to get our own place before the baby is born. But I just feel like im running back and forth and I dont know what to do, here we have somewhere to stay, but theres not enough room for us and its hard to find a job or we can go where there is room for us and he could probably get his old job back and even if he cant get his old job back there are several places that he could go to get one. I feel like moving back to PA is the right thing to do but its going to cause so many problems with my family because they feel like I need to stay here so that I can be with them because no one in my family has ever moved away before but I was gone for two years and I loved it, but after two years of hearing that i needed to come home my husband and i decided to try and nothing seems to be working out and we cant afford to live on our own without help for a while.

by on Nov. 11, 2012 at 7:19 PM
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Replies (1-10):
atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Nov. 11, 2012 at 7:23 PM
1 mom liked this
Why did you move with no job prospects? And now have a baby on the way?
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strictmomhere
by Platinum Member on Nov. 11, 2012 at 7:23 PM
Id go back;)
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mamaeagle216
by on Nov. 11, 2012 at 7:26 PM
This exactly. Jobs don't grow on trees. You shouldn't have moved without lining a job up first. And to add another innocent child into your problems. Geez.


Quoting atlmom2:

Why did you move with no job prospects? And now have a baby on the way?

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Randi1234
by Member on Nov. 11, 2012 at 7:40 PM

I guess posting this on here was a mistake because only one of the three people that have commented on it actually read everything I said, I KNOW that I should have waited to have another child but theres nothing that I can do about it now. its done and over with, im human I make mistakes, I will never regret my childeren, they are all I have in my life, my childeren and , my husband we are doing the best to make things work, but the only reason that we moved from where we were was because we couldnt afford living where we were living because I had to stop working and our bills were falling way too far behind, My mother said that she knew of a few places that were hiring...well clearly they didnt turn out to be real hiring places because he applie to all of them. His mom at the time had 4 other people living with her because they had no place to go and shes always willing to help someone out when they need it so she did and it just so happened to be the same time that we needed the help so our only way out was to move where my mom (usually the person you trust) said he could get plenty of jobs, I hadnt lived there in 2 years so i trusted her and we just moved. now we are stuck at her house in a situation i wish we didtnt have to be in....

Randi1234
by Member on Nov. 11, 2012 at 7:43 PM

and as far as lining a job up first he had one that he still works at but he brings home between $75 and $100 a week, and that gets him gas, diapers and wipes. and misc. things that we need for around the house. he works at a party store as a bottle boy. so it doesnt even pay minimum wage but it was only to get us by until he got a full time job.

Quoting mamaeagle216:

This exactly. Jobs don't grow on trees. You shouldn't have moved without lining a job up first. And to add another innocent child into your problems. Geez.


Quoting atlmom2:

Why did you move with no job prospects? And now have a baby on the way?


Mommyof2114
by on Nov. 11, 2012 at 7:54 PM
1 mom liked this
Honestly, I think you need to move back. I know it's hard to make life changes and move but, something will work out its just going to take sometime. I'm sorry you are dealing with so much just before the holidays :(
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nuts4scouts
by Bronze Member on Nov. 11, 2012 at 8:15 PM
4 moms liked this

You moved once because of family pressure, with no job for either of you waiting at the end.

Learn from your mistakes.

Don't do it again!

Don't simply assume that your husband can get his old job back, or will be able to find a new one.

FIRST -have him call his former employer. He needs to talk to the Human Resources dept, and find out if - 1) there are any jobs open  - 2) if they would be willing to re-hire him for any of those open positions. If he gets 2 yes answers then he can fill out, and send in a job application.

If he gets no for his answers, then he can start looking online for jobs, and filling in applications online.

Do NOT move again until he has a confirmed job that he is moving to.

Once he has a job, and you have a place to live, you can start looking for part time work to help pay the bills.



Mrs.wilcox01
by Member on Nov. 11, 2012 at 8:18 PM
Bump to read later
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robyann
by on Nov. 11, 2012 at 8:29 PM

 you have to go to where you can support your family. If your dh can't find a job where you are, then you should go back, but first like another mom said, call his old job to make sure he can go back there. Your family now is your dh and kids, so they come first. You and dh have to make this decision yourselves, without worrying what anyone else says. Just plan this out and take it step by step.

Congrats on the baby. You know it wasn't perfect timing, but it is a new baby! :)

typingMom to 6~MawMaw to 8 & counting!

rockinmom6
by on Nov. 11, 2012 at 9:00 PM

My friendly advice to you is to stay where you are for now..holidays are right around the corner and alot of places are starting now for "temp" employment for the holidays. Save what you can where you can..join your church and offer babysitting services.. get out with other Moms..check your local paper for programs and services offered for Moms in your area. Check Craigs list for a job as a nanny..CPR classes can be offered for free somtimes at local hospitals..see what your human resource department at your local hospital offers. Its not about how much you can make but the contacts you make to get a better job..for you OR your husband. HOME is where YOU make it!

 

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