Traveling Husbands....

You just adjust. Mine is gone from monday(4am) til Friday (anytime after7). He's been doing this for 4 years. My son, also has adhd, and I also have a daughter, they bond with him when he's home, talk to him on the phone when he's not here(when they were tiney he would talk to them on the phone or facetalk type thing)the first 3-4 months were the hardest, cauuse I was just adjusting. Pregnancy was a little demanding bc I don't get breaks. I don't have anyone but his family.but you just get used to it.

I agree with PP, you just adjust. My DH has been home maybe 3 months total this year. We talk on the phone a lot and video chat. It works for us but its not for everyone.

Im divorced now but when we were married he was gona for months at a time and we talked on the phone and video chat with skype and my son has adhd so it was hard but we did what we had to and i spent most my time trying to stay as busy as i could so i didnt think about him beeing gone. and the hose hold stuff i did all of it even before he worked on the road so it wasnt a big deal. sorry if i wasnt much help

My hubby was in the navy for 8years. He was gone for weeks sometimes and the longest was 9 months. You just do it. We never lost the magic. The kids love and adore their dad. It was hard but I kept busy, joined the y, just did my own thing. You'll make it work because you don't have another choice!

Before we had our daughter, my husband used to travel once to twice a month (4-5 days at a time). It was definitely hard at first and we had many fights. We spoke on the phone while he was gone, but sometimes I got jealous that he was out drinking with coworkers and having a good time while I was "stuck" at home. After a while, I began to appreciate the time to myself. I could eat dinner when I wanted, watch what I wanted on TV, and go to bed whenever I wanted to without him complaining! I took our time apart as a time to miss him, and to appreciate him when he returned home. I always made sure to slip a card into his suitcase before he left telling him how much I love him.

Now our daughter is 9 months old, and he will be leaving for a week in a few months. I know it's going to feel like a long time because ALL the responsibility for childcare and the house will fall on me - the same as you will experience. But I think if there are single moms out there will multiple kids who can do it, then surely I can as well! I think the hardest part for me, and maybe this will be for you to...is not to be resentful of your husband when he IS home. You'll have to figure out schedules as you adjust to this new lifestyle. When he's home obviously you want to spend time with him, and your son will too! But you'll also want him to chip in with housework so you can have a break. You'll just have to find a new balance. I think that communication will be the key so that you both are happy! And while your husband is gone, definitely reach out to your church community. I find it's good to have some company in the evenings and on the weekends, even if it's just for a meal or a quick chat. Good luck :)

It helps to know what you are getting into when you marry him. My DH and I have been married now for almost 25 years we've known each other almost 27 years. We met when we were both overseas in the Navy. I got out at just shy of 5 years because we were wanting children and I had already had 3 miscarriages. The Doctors determined that I was miscarrying due to too much stress. Regardless of that I knew that since he was on shore duty when we met that his next duty station could be sea duty. Once we started having kids (we have 3 total) it just became routine when he would leave. We knew that on Sea rotations that he would have weekends or two weeks here or there for little work-ups to the bigger cruises. We were lucky, out of 20 years of service he only had one maybe two cruises that went longer than 6 months. But they never lasted longer than 7 months. We figured that once he retired he would be working a day job that had him home every night. Instead he was hired on by a company that did the samething he did in the Navy, including the traveling. The difference being now he's gone maybe once or twice a year and for no longer than 60 days at a time. From the beginning we agreed to have each other's back. We don't let the kids try to play one of us against the other. I have learned to take care of somethings on my own. If it can wait I will put it aside for him to do when he gets back or find someone who can do it for me. Because our life has always been like this the kids have adapted to it and while they miss him, they aren't too upset with his being gone. For us we also had good neighbors around us who helped each other when needed and acted as family to each other. My kids have many honorary Aunts and Uncles now. I have been lonely when he is gone but with cell phones now being the norm, he calls every night to talk to the kids and say goodnight. We also stay in contact by email and messenger. YOu can do this. Just keep to your normal routines. It may take longer to get the kids in and out of the car but you can do it. Also, if you have a good babysitter it's a big help. Hire her once or twice while DH is gone and go out with a girlfriend or two for a movie or dinner or shopping. Also make sure that he gives you a date night or two when he gets back. Which reminds me... My DH still owes me a dinner out from his last trip. :) He was only gone a week but it's nice to get out of the house with out the kids from time to time. Bit of advice....While he's gone... Don't let the kids sleep in your bed. A sleepless night for you because he's gone is better than trying to get them back into their own beds once he's back. Speaking from experience here on that one.   

My husband traveled a lot until this past year. I went to many school concerts and activities with the children on my own.  I made sure we had good locks on the door and my cellphone beside the bed in case I needed to make a quick call. I established that he would call me every evening.  Household emergencies almost always happened when he was gone, so I learned what companies we had come for repairs. When the kids were little, they camped out in my bedroom- on the floor- and we kept one another company this way.

Communication is the key!  Make the most of when he is home.  My husband use to be gone on a basis and we kept the lines of communication open.  You adjust and keep yourself busy with everyday things.  The loneliness is something you adjust too because this is what you have to do in order to survive, there are so many luxuries that my husband and I didn't have back then.  All we had were weekly phone calles and hand written letters.  Now there is everything from texting to skyping!  

My husband was recently gone for over 3 months in January for post and was allowed to come home on weekends.  You just do what you can during the time he is gone and when he comes home make sure the house and all your errands are done that way you, husband and your son can just spend the time together doing the things you want to do.  

If you need someone to talk to there so many of us who go through this on a basis.  :)

Things will be fine! 

I'm comin in late on this....

My dh has always traveled...he's gone about 50% of the time.

its hard...there's no getting around that fact.  But you really do adjust.  

My dd is 12. She's a wicked daddy's girl. They text all the time.  And when he's home they spend a lot of time together. Sure she misses him...but she's never known another way.

the worst part for me is that there is no referee. Dd and I went through a hellish patch where we'd bicker and fight the whole time he was gone. It's not like you can bother him at work cause we can't be civil. Kwim?  And every disaster seems to occur when he's gone. From dead pets to leaky pipes. I try to get control of the problem the best I can (duct tape is my friend) and put it on the list for when he gets home.

dh knows when he gets home that there's stuff that needs his attention, signatures, repairs, scoldings ... 

Try to keep your routine simple.  Try to enjoy the downtime. And try not to bother them to much with stuff that can wait.

My hubby was in the navy for a few years in CA and since we wanted to live in TX We bought a house here so i was here and he was there 90 percent of the time. He got out and got a really good job but travels. This whole time 7 years still hate when he leaves but at the same time do REALLY enjoy the time to miss him. Also love that the kids dont care when we eat as long as we do. lol They help me not feel so lonely and also if he knows that im really lonely if he is gone for more then 2 weeks he has staid on the phone with me till i fall asleep.I do all of the house work but take out the trash and i also care for the kids most of the time because i am a stay at home mom so that part is not bad at all. I always text him on trash days and ask him why he is slacken on his job and he knows what i mean and we both get a laugh. He will be leaving for Seattle this Sunday and will be gone for a month if not longer. I might get my mom to sit the kids for me one weekend and fly out to see him. Find ur silver lining and think of that when he is gone. One day when the kids are older i will be able to go to really cool places with him. And the awesome extra money is a plus. LOVE having a good savings.