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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

Announcing a baby advice?

Posted by on Nov. 14, 2012 at 7:47 PM
  • 14 Replies

My sister is a very important person to me. At the beginning of the year she was told by her doctor due to her seizures, carrying a baby will be too high of a risk so she could not carry her own kids. I agreed to carry a child for her. Recently she has been put on new medication and has been told she can now carry her kids because her seizures are controlled. They have been trying for almost four years with no luck. My husband and I agreed to wait until next summer to have another baby, just in case I would still be needed for carrying her baby. I just found out I am pregnant, and although I am very excited, it breaks my heart to tell her because I don't want her to be sad that we are having our second before she has one. She is going to be the godmother of our new baby. Any ideas on how to tell her this news without making her sad?

by on Nov. 14, 2012 at 7:47 PM
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Replies (1-10):
frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Nov. 14, 2012 at 8:05 PM
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There is no way to soften the sadness.  if she is a good sister she will be happy for your news and understand her time isnt here yet for a child.

mamalusbear
by Bronze Member on Nov. 14, 2012 at 8:18 PM

I'd think she'd be happy for you.  She can have a baby now, not that long until next summer.  I'd tell her privately, ask her how she feels about it.  Sounds like both of you have good things coming your way.

CoeyG
by on Nov. 14, 2012 at 8:26 PM
1 mom liked this

And why would you assume she would be sad?  I know if it were me I'd be very happy that my sister was having her 2nd, or thrd or 4th for that matter, even if I had none.  In fact all three of my sisters have more children than my one and I'm very happy for them...and me as well 

SlightlyPerfect
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 9:37 AM
1 mom liked this

Think about if the roles were reversed. What would you want her to say to you? What type of tone would you appreciate?

slightlyperfect

la_bella_vita
by Gold Member on Nov. 15, 2012 at 11:02 AM

 

Quoting SlightlyPerfect:

Think about if the roles were reversed. What would you want her to say to you? What type of tone would you appreciate?

 I agree

whoodathunk
by Bronze Member on Nov. 15, 2012 at 1:24 PM

Tell her when it's just the two of you together so she can react however she feels comfortable.  Remind her that if it's God's will, she'll carry a baby.  If it is not, that you still intend to hold your promise adn carry a baby for her.  The most important thing she needs to do is relax and not try to hard.  Pray for her, pray with her, ask others to pray as well.  Congratulations on your pregnancy!

DarlaHood
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 1:52 PM
3 moms liked this

Just be honest.  Let her know that you love her and want more than anything for her to have a baby, and you wish the timing were different because you fear it may be difficult.  But also let her know that you cannot wait to be cheering and celebrating soon when it is her time.  Let her also know that she can be honest with you if she's trying to work through difficult feelings that might not even seem fair or just.  Feelings are feelings, and sometimes they don't match with what we logically think is right.  Let her know you're o.k. with listening if she has things she needs to work through, and that you won't judge or be offended.

You will all get through it.

kirbymom
by Bronze Member on Nov. 15, 2012 at 2:49 PM

This is great  sister advice.  :) 

Quoting DarlaHood:

Just be honest.  Let her know that you love her and want more than anything for her to have a baby, and you wish the timing were different because you fear it may be difficult.  But also let her know that you cannot wait to be cheering and celebrating soon when it is her time.  Let her also know that she can be honest with you if she's trying to work through difficult feelings that might not even seem fair or just.  Feelings are feelings, and sometimes they don't match with what we logically think is right.  Let her know you're o.k. with listening if she has things she needs to work through, and that you won't judge or be offended.

You will all get through it.


ZOOMZOOMCANTOR
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 6:20 PM

All you can do is tell her alone I agree may be good there is no reason to stifle your happiness she will have to be ok with it. I do not mean to sound harsh but I see to many times myself included people softening stuff for someone else and not enjoying thier lives to the fullest

Congrats by the way

SRUsarahSC
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 6:24 PM

Just be honest with her and do it before she hears it from someone else...do it with just the two of you alone, at home not in public.  My SIL had issues and miscarried right before I got pregnant...we were honest with her right away and gave her space until she was ready to talk about it.  Their sadness for themselves doesn't deter from their happiness for you.

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