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Weed on school grounds really? *update x2

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My 17yo dd was suspended from school. She told me they randomly check her and her friends at lunch while they were all talking and found a pipe and weed on one of the other kids so they all got suspended. Well according to the school official that called me. They were all standing in a circle passing the pipe on school grounds. Wtf on school grounds? Well I am totally outgrageously not happy about the smoking weed which I already knew about and have told her over and over not before or after school. Well now she is in drug & alcohol classes which I hope deture her away from it. She has been grounded durring her suspension working on all her missing assignments. What else can I do?



*guess I stated this wrong as Mommies are getting the wrong impression. No I do not allow her to do it. Yes I have gone over the side effects this has. I did find it in her room (under matress) and made her watch me put it down the garbage disposal. I check her room & backpack on a regular basis. I am afraid of complete control of forcing her every move on it that she will rebel.


* I called today and registered her in Youth 'n' action. I told her which day she would be going she told me she is not going. I said if I have to take you on the bus with me you are going. She said well I am bigger then you and you will have to take me physically by forceable action.


* I also called at risk youth. It told me to leave a message so I did.

* ok we have decided together to send her back to Arizona for the rest of her Junior year and the summer with my grandmother. She will attend school online. Then she will return back to me and continue her senior year online.
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by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 1:56 AM
Replies (41-50):
snowangel1979
by Silver Member on Nov. 16, 2012 at 11:51 AM
1 mom liked this
LMBO. Hurry get her to the ER she's going to overdose on pringles.
Sorry.

OP she's your DD if you say no weed, then she needs to respect that. If she does not choose to follow your rules she has a year untill she's old enough to make all the decision she wants- in her own home.


Quoting CoeyG:

So what are the side effects of smoking pot anyway?  Since all I can think of is the munchies...


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aj_mom
by Bronze Member on Nov. 16, 2012 at 2:00 PM

I think some of the drug store carry drug testing kits, maybe randomly test her

AnAngelsKiss
by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 4:23 PM
Yeah they run $35- $55 for 1 test depending on what I want to test for. I am a single mom on disability. I can't afford to buy that weekly.

Quoting aj_mom:

I think some of the drug store carry drug testing kits, maybe randomly test her

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xoxRachelxox
by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 4:29 PM

There is something called a CHINS. It's a child in need of services order. You can go to court and ask them to put one on her. They will make her go in to see a probation officer. The probation officer will talk with her and if they feel she needs to, she'll go in front of a judge. That SHOULD straighten her out. The judge will tell her, if she keeps this up and can't be controlled at home then she could end up in a residential home. She will NOT want that.

It sucks to have to do this. My mother had to take one out on me, as well as the school. It did scare the shit out of me. Maybe look into a CHINS for her.

Good luck.

AnAngelsKiss
by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 5:09 PM
1 mom liked this
CHINS is part of the at risk youth. I talked to the lady she said she is sending the paperwork to me that I have to fill out and when I turn it in to the courts I have to call her back and schedule an appt to meet with her.

Quoting xoxRachelxox:

There is something called a CHINS. It's a child in need of services order. You can go to court and ask them to put one on her. They will make her go in to see a probation officer. The probation officer will talk with her and if they feel she needs to, she'll go in front of a judge. That SHOULD straighten her out. The judge will tell her, if she keeps this up and can't be controlled at home then she could end up in a residential home. She will NOT want that.

It sucks to have to do this. My mother had to take one out on me, as well as the school. It did scare the shit out of me. Maybe look into a CHINS for her.

Good luck.

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TinasTribe
by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 10:34 PM

Go to connections academy . com and try K12.com 

TinasTribe
by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 11:12 PM

I personally, I again this is just  my opinion, would never get the cops or CPS involved in my family. Once you open that door it never closes. I also would feel as if I was not being my child's advocate, She is behaving this way for a reason. It could be your realtionship with her, or her relationship with her father, a boyfriend, something is going on in her life for her to show these behaviors and I think talking to her is the key to understanding what the real problem. is

CoeyG
by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 12:08 AM


Quoting snowangel1979:

LMBO. Hurry get her to the ER she's going to overdose on pringles.
Sorry.

OP she's your DD if you say no weed, then she needs to respect that. If she does not choose to follow your rules she has a year untill she's old enough to make all the decision she wants- in her own home.


Quoting CoeyG:

So what are the side effects of smoking pot anyway?  Since all I can think of is the munchies...


My faves were pork rinds and meet sticks LOL, my daughter loved Funyums, 

marscella
by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 10:11 AM
Teens are notorious for rebelling~ they think they have the world whipped by the ass and know it all~ when in fact, we know otherwise. I was that teen. I rebelled against EVERYTHING my mother said. I smoked weed, drank, snuck out of the house... OMG. As I sit here today at 34, I can think back to numerous times of my mom just crying and crying and can honestly say my mom disliked me.

Now, I'm a social worker and director of my agency. I chose to work with children for 10 of the 14 years in this field. Then I worked on drug/alcohol rehab helping addicts stay clean and get their lives back together.

Here's the deal~ sorry to be blunt, but there's no nice way of saying this. Had my mom been my friend and gave up on me, I'm almost positive my life would be very different than what it is today.while she struggled with me tremendously, she never gave up. She tried the grounding, yelling, lectures, blah blah blah. Never worked. All it did was make me hate her and actually fed my rebellion. I essentially had the upper hand as does ur daughter. My mom made idle threats. I knew she was never going to follow thru with them. So, her threats lost ther effectiveness. I just said whatever.

Well, one day, she followed through with her threats. As hard as it was, she sent me away. I was shipped from Ohio to Florida. For three very long months. I hated her. But in the end, it worked. Not sayin u need to ship her away... I'm saying u need to gain control of the situation now and start following thru. U need to take a different approach now and show her u r serious and the parent.

I'm not sure where u live, but Im almost positive there's a detention center near u. Call them. While its ideal to say u can buy drug tests now at Walmart, it's not ideal to think u can force her to pee in a cup to drug test her. U have to take action now. Shake her world up. Surprise her~ and u will one day when she's sitting in a detention center more shocked than anything. They provide counseling, drug counseling, drug testing..... If u keep on this track ur not going to grab ahold of this situation.

As hard as it is, sometimes u have to let them learn by their own mistakes. My ds knows I will not tolerate this type of behavior. He knows I love him with all of my heart and soul and I want nothing but the best for him. That being said, the usual parent/child set up is threatening to tell their dad and dad is usually the harshest and " scariest" parental figure. Not in my house. That would be me. It takes a lot to get me mad but when he pushes and pushes my buttons, my dh will tell my ds u think I'm bad, make ur mother mad.

U have to set boundaries and guidelines ~ spelling out the consequences clearly for her. When she breaks them, follow through. There are programs and places out there to help u. When I worked in the drug rehab, u would be surprised to see how fast an adult would crumble when they failed their urine test, went to court and were sent to jail for 3 days. There's no room for error. They would beg and plead with us and the judge but, everyone stuck to the rules and we shook up their world.

Most of them had jobs, they were scared of jail, they didn't want their jobs to know, etc... But they were in drug court. Drug court meant groups and meetings and random drug screens. If they failed to show for a screen, they faced the judge.

It's hard enough dealing with teen attitudes ~ but when u throw something like this into the mix, it 10 times worse. Sometimes being the parent involves very tough heart breaking decisions. And unfortunately this is where ur at.

While my take on marijuana is that of I don't think it's " bad" per se... Yes most states its illegal but crack, heroine and other drugs r far worse... It's illegal, yes, she's a minor, yes, she needs to her herself in check. I would much rather deal with a marijuana addiction than a heroine addiction ANYDAY. That being said an addiction is an addiction is an addiction. Good luck to u.
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AnAngelsKiss
by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 1:49 PM
I know where it stems from. Her behavior and grades started failing when we moved to Washington from Arizona. I took her from my grandmother she was and still is my grandmothers favorite grandchild. my grandmother became ill after we left. She is still alive but struggles. She is able to go spend every summer with my grandma if she chooses. Grandma has offered to send her a plane ticket. My husband and I seperated last year. That is when things got worse with her. He keeps saying he doesn't want anything to do with the kids then about a month later he tells my dd I was trying to keep them from him that it is all Mom. Well I noticed her starting to have ultimate hatred towards me.

Quoting TinasTribe:

I personally, I again this is just  my opinion, would never get the cops or CPS involved in my family. Once you open that door it never closes. I also would feel as if I was not being my child's advocate, She is behaving this way for a reason. It could be your realtionship with her, or her relationship with her father, a boyfriend, something is going on in her life for her to show these behaviors and I think talking to her is the key to understanding what the real problem. is

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