So, I`ll try to cut the long story shorter - my dad`s was and still is an alcoholic. He left me when I was 2 months old. By now for 32 years I`ve seen him no more than 10 times. I grew up in poverty and he never helped. As long as I remember all he gave me for my whole life was a pair of jeans and a box of chewing gums when I was in 4th grade. He never gave me any attention, advice or emotional support as well. I don`t blame or judge him, he made his choices or may be he` s a sick man, doctors consider the dependences as sickness, or may be my mom led him to his situation. I don`t know. All I know for sure is my parent`s faults are not mine, but I suffered from them for the greater part of my life. Now I have my own family and it`s the only thing that matters for me.
The thing is being a lawyer and having an access to the local property register I realised that my dad has donated his summer cottage to my cousin, i.e. to his brother`s daughter. He didn`t buy the cottage, it`s a heritage from his parents, i.e. my grand parents. Probably I`ll have to mention they were in solidarity with my dad`s divorce and I have never seen my grandma, I`ve seen grandpa 2 or 3 times, including a time I met him on the street and he didn`t recognize me. According to our legislation, in case of a donation me and my brother we have a preserved part from the heritage. Means if dad has sold the cottage then we could do nothing, but since he made a donnation we could try to cancel it in court and ask for our preserved part. Such a case would be easy for me and ten to one I`d win. Then the cottage would be mine and my brother`s with equal parts. But I`m not sure what to do. On one hand I have everything and don`t need desperately the cottage. Plus I don`t want anything from a family who didn`t care about me. On other hand I have a daughter and I want her to have everything I was deprived of. I`ve already provided her with our own home and some commercial properties, but as every mother I want her to have everything. I don`t want her to struggle as I did. On third hand my brother has nothing and would never go to court to ask for his part because he can not afford paying neither the court fee, neither a lawyer other than myself. Not that I even think of asking him a fee.
So, this is the situation. I don`t know what to do. I don`t wan`t to be greedy, I want to be a good Christian. What would you do in my situation?
Based upon the way you present yourself here I find it difficult to believe that you are a lawyer. And if you were a lawyer you would know that such an inheritance would be given to any blood relative and since your father's brother's daughter is his blood relative he she has every right to accept said property. By the way him giving the cottage to his borther's daughter was not a "donation" he bequeathed it to her...if you were a lawyer you would know the difference.
Quoting nessac1987:
I think i would just have to ignore it. You didn't have much growing up yet you became a lawyer. Your children don't need things handed to them but earned for their hard work. And your brother will egh.. Tuffy situation.. Its his choice if he wants to fight for the cottage. Let him decide.. Either way good luck to everyone in this situation
Thank you for your reply. Hard work could be very different. It could be humiliating, as it was mine when I was younger. It could be creative, constructive and purposeful when you have your home and some funds besides you and when you don`t have to struggle for every bite of food. This is what I will give my daugher. The question is should I add another 20 000 EUR to her future, or should I leave it to my cousin...
Quoting CoeyG:Based upon the way you present yourself here I find it difficult to believe that you are a lawyer. And if you were a lawyer you would know that such an inheritance would be given to any blood relative and since your father's brother's daughter is his blood relative he she has every right to accept said property. By the way him giving the cottage to his borther's daughter was not a "donation" he bequeathed it to her...if you were a lawyer you would know the difference.
Thank you for your reply. I know exactly what the documets say and I don`t need a professional advice but a spiritual one. If you have noticed I had emphazied several times that I`m talking about my LOCAL law and legal procedures. Since I live and work in Europe and our laws are much different from yours I`m pretty sure you know nothing about them. However, I don`t care if you believe me or not. Based upon the way you present here your opinion is not important to me.
I would just leave it alone since you have set up a possibly good future and have invested wisely due to how you unfortunately went through struggles. As a good christian (your words), you should forgive and forget that property even exists and keep the contact to a minimum with said family members. Be happy that another child may have a chance at success using that cottage as a home they otherwise may not be able to afford.
IMO, you are being greedy. Try and reason all you want but it's not yours and your father didn't want you to have it. You don't need it. You are just being greedy and spiteful.
Quoting haute_couture:
Quoting nessac1987:
I think i would just have to ignore it. You didn't have much growing up yet you became a lawyer. Your children don't need things handed to them but earned for their hard work. And your brother will egh.. Tuffy situation.. Its his choice if he wants to fight for the cottage. Let him decide.. Either way good luck to everyone in this situationThank you for your reply. Hard work could be very different. It could be humiliating, as it was mine when I was younger. It could be creative, constructive and purposeful when you have your home and some funds besides you and when you don`t have to struggle for every bite of food. This is what I will give my daugher. The question is should I add another 20 000 EUR to her future, or should I leave it to my cousin...
Do you mean the house was yours when you were younger because it has never been yours. It was your grandparents and then your fathers, never yours.
Quoting haute_couture:
Quoting CoeyG:Based upon the way you present yourself here I find it difficult to believe that you are a lawyer. And if you were a lawyer you would know that such an inheritance would be given to any blood relative and since your father's brother's daughter is his blood relative he she has every right to accept said property. By the way him giving the cottage to his borther's daughter was not a "donation" he bequeathed it to her...if you were a lawyer you would know the difference.
Thank you for your reply. I know exactly what the documets say and I don`t need a professional advice but a spiritual one. If you have noticed I had emphazied several times that I`m talking about my LOCAL law and legal procedures. Since I live and work in Europe and our laws are much different from yours I`m pretty sure you know nothing about them. However, I don`t care if you believe me or not. Based upon the way you present here your opinion is not important to me.
I happen to know a Solicitor in Great Britan...I can tell you that you're not one there...and most European civil laws arent' that different from those in the U.S. I also stand by my assessment that you are not indeed a lawyer (or European since you used the term "Lawyer" rather than "solicitor" which is what Europeans use) and obviously you do care aboiut my opinion as you have tried to counter it with your claim...
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- haute_couture
on Nov. 15, 2012 at 2:45 PM