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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

17 year old sister Interfering while I was disciplining my daughter

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I am currently livid with my 17 yr old sister. I am at the lake w my family for the weekend with my 4 year old daughter and she has been being a pistol all day and when I discipline I do not spank hit or verbally abuse my daughter. My daughter got upset bc I said it was time for a nap and no we weren't gunna make a tent so she says I'm gunna go sleep n there ( the other room with my sister) and I said no bryleigh you are not, I normally wouldn't care but she had not been listening all day. So she starts on her tantrum and screams at me I'm quiet letting her calm down and my sister comes in picks her up and starts for the other room. I said don't bring her in there she's in trouble and I told her no. My sister looks at me and says your not my mother and I don't care if she sleeps w me... Um I snap and say give me my daughter and she walks out with her so I follow and try to get her to let her go. And my sister starts screaming saying your scaring your daughter. And proceed to walk out of our cabin, with my child. Not wanting to cause any more problems with my daughter being in the middle I let them leave.  I honestly don't know what to do, this is absolutely unacceptable I am going to talk to our father but I know he won't do anything about my sisters complete lack of respect for me. 

by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 8:07 PM
Replies (31-33):
aasmith88
by Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 11:29 AM

I liked what one post said.. Tell her if she ever leaves or takes YOUR child without permission the police will be called. That she is not to interfere with your parenting. Her interfering will just confuse your daughter and possibly promote more tantrums if your daughter sees her auntie as a side kick. 

I wouldn't suggest spanking your 17 year old sister, she comes across as the type to fight back.. Do you really want a physical confrontation with her? Sounds like your dad doesn't do much, the mother is out of the picture... I'm sure this has a lot to do with her issues.. It's not an excuse for her behavior.. Just keep that in mind if you cut her out. 

I would have a serious deep talk with her and be stern about your rules when it comes to your daughter. I would also let your dad know that if such behavior persists you will take further actions. This girl is 17 she's gonna be an adult soon and needs to learn to grow up and be ready for the real world and she's going to need guidance for that. 


I hope it works out for you and things get better! --these are just suggestions on what I think/feel; I hope it helped! 

spotsmom
by on Nov. 22, 2012 at 11:41 PM

Whoa! ABSOLUTELY unacceptable! I don't know how you handled that....the thought of someone grabbing my child like that and walking away from me like that wouldset me off...I don't kno how I would have handled that. Bur, she's a child herelf, and doesn't know any better. I would just try to have a conversation with her, knowing of course, that it will go in one ear and out the other. But if it ever happens again, I would have to start limiting the amount of time you spend around her, as difficult as that might be. That's just something that I couldn't have happening on a regular basis. 

Jenner8
by on Nov. 23, 2012 at 12:12 AM

Oh L no.  When mommy isn't there, aunts get to let them get away with most anything, but when mommy is around, aunts are only allowed to try to diffuse the situation, NEVER second guess or over rule mommy.

Your lil' sis needs to be put in her place.  The kiddo doesn't need to witness it, but you have to confront sis no matter the drama that it may cause...

My uncle tried to over rule me at a family b-day party a few months ago.  Yes, every other child there was ripping the paper off the b-day girls gift, but mine was not going to get away with it.  I had picked her up and carried her away kicking and screaming, he tried to take her from me to allow her to go right back to opening gifts that were not hers.  I hate drama and making a scene, but I did for the sake of my kid.  It was not pretty, but it is MY job to ensure that the child I am responsible for grows into a healthy and mannered adult, and I am not going to allow myself or my child to disrespected in that manner.

Good luck, but in all honesty if someone in my family pulled that stuff, they wouldn't be around my kid until they could agree to respect us both.  At the very least they wouldn't be put in the situation to allow them ANY say over what the kiddo could do. You HAVE to stand up to your lil' sis if you expect your daughter to respect you.

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