Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

he doesn't want to be alone with our kids...

Posted by   + Show Post

We have a 3year old daughter and 2month old son and he refuses to be alone with them for more than 20min.

 

hes gotten to go out with his friends by himself which im extremely jealous of because every time I try to go anywhere by myself he doesn't let me :( I either have to take one of the kids usually both or the whole family goes!!

I'll ask kindly or say its ok baabe I can go shopping by myself you can stay home and he always says no I'll  go.

 

One time I asked if he wanted to go to the store with the kids and I or stay home his response was "if I stay home is mason staying with me?" masons our son I said yes so he said he wss coming.

 

I just want alone time/me time :(:(:(

 

How do I get that through to him???!  

by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 11:08 PM
Replies (11-20):
navewife
by Member on Nov. 18, 2012 at 8:32 AM
Tell him to suck it up.....you do it and figured it out now he has to.....tell him point blank just how you said it here and that he needs to pull his weight with them or he is no longer allowed to go out without you either. Fair is fair if he wants to go out then he needs to let you go too or he cant go...PERIOD
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
atlmom2
by Platinum Member on Nov. 18, 2012 at 9:26 AM
Wow, was he this way with your 3 yo too. He seems to want his cake and eat it too. I would set him straight real fast. He is taking advantage of you. Does he help when he is home?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
jabs54
by Platinum Member on Nov. 18, 2012 at 9:47 AM

 You don't mention WHY he doesn't want to be alone.  I'm assuming you've asked him?!

DaniandTom
by Bronze Member on Nov. 18, 2012 at 12:55 PM

Have you sat him down and told him how you feel? Explain to him that everyone needs some time to themselves and you don't have any problems with him spending time the way he wants to so you think it's only fair that you get some time to yourself or with your friends. If he doesn't agree, tell him you'll be glad to hire a sitter to take care of them but that's going to stretch the budget and HE won't be able to go out anymore with his friends. If he asks why he has to be the one to sacrifice tell him. Explain it to him like he's a small child. YOU'RE doing all the sacrificing right now! Once he agrees, set some time each week or every two weeks for him to take care of the kids and you get to do whatever you want--whether it's going to lunch with your friends or going shopping or just taking a nap. If he still doesn't understand, abandon him for the day with the kids. Let him see what you're going through on a daily basis and maybe he'll understand why you need time to yourself. 

CampClan
by Bronze Member on Nov. 18, 2012 at 1:01 PM

Start denying him things.

lovinmyboys...
by Bronze Member on Nov. 18, 2012 at 1:05 PM
Wow...really bad advice!
Talk to him. Ask him why. If he has no good answer, just tell him you are going somewhere...BY YOURSELF!


Quoting CampClan:

Start denying him things.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
CampClan
by Bronze Member on Nov. 18, 2012 at 1:16 PM

Well I was only half serious about it but... in my personal experience talking to him (in my case my now ex husband) didn't work. I had to start denying him things in order to get it through to him. Even now that we are divorced I have to deny him crap to get a point made (& of course I don't mean sex now)!

Quoting lovinmyboys...:

Wow...really bad advice!
Talk to him. Ask him why. If he has no good answer, just tell him you are going somewhere...BY YOURSELF!


Quoting CampClan:

Start denying him things.


lovinmyboys...
by Bronze Member on Nov. 18, 2012 at 1:22 PM
Obviously denying him did nothing for your marriage considering he is your ex, but it is funny if you are joking.

Quoting CampClan:

Well I was only half serious about it but... in my personal experience talking to him (in my case my now ex husband) didn't work. I had to start denying him things in order to get it through to him. Even now that we are divorced I have to deny him crap to get a point made (& of course I don't mean sex now)!

Quoting lovinmyboys...:

Wow...really bad advice!

Talk to him. Ask him why. If he has no good answer, just tell him you are going somewhere...BY YOURSELF!




Quoting CampClan:

Start denying him things.


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
TexanMomOf6
by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 1:57 PM

If he doesn't want to watch the kids, I don't really think the solution is to force him. I suggest you have him "watch" the kids while you go sit in the tub with a book for a half hour or more. That way you are there but he's in charge. You can get him used to watching the little ones for increasing time periods all the while staying within a few minutes from the house.

Most men do not do well with infants, they think the baby is so delicate and they are so big and strong that they would hurt the baby. It's normal.

erinsmom1964
by Gold Member on Nov. 18, 2012 at 2:29 PM
Finally a reasonable and intelligent response

Quoting TexanMomOf6:

If he doesn't want to watch the kids, I don't really think the solution is to force him. I suggest you have him "watch" the kids while you go sit in the tub with a book for a half hour or more. That way you are there but he's in charge. You can get him used to watching the little ones for increasing time periods all the while staying within a few minutes from the house.

Most men do not do well with infants, they think the baby is so delicate and they are so big and strong that they would hurt the baby. It's normal.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)



Featured