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cant make up my mind

Posted by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 9:53 AM
  • 14 Replies

PLEASE FIRST OFF THE LAST THING I NEED RIGHT NOW IS BASHING!

Im so depressed I love my husband but idk what to do about the skeletons in the closet.. so to speak.

My husband was sexting girls the whole time we were together before we got married (i didnt find out till after we were married and i was pregnant). We talked about it and he said he stopped 2 weeks before we got married. (im not making excuses but alot of stressful things happened to him and he was depressed alot the whole time and never got help). A few days ago I went to get a phone # off his email and I found a bunch of girls email addresses in his contacts. Well that peaked my interest so i snooped a little more and found he sent 1 message to a girl since weve been married all it said was can i have more pics.(she never answered and he said it stopped there) she had some sexy(slutty) pics up on craigslist and thats what he was talking about. ( now when this was sent i was at my families vacation home with my kids for about a week a little more 10 days). 

(TMI) and just so everyone knows we are very passionate still neither one of us can even kiss the other without getting a little HOT lol

I know i have a right to get upset but I also dont know how to really proceed now. We obviously talked about it and he said we can go to counseling because he feels he needs it to deal with his past as well as his present.

Can anyone give me any advice?

by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 9:53 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Mommy2justone
by Mommy2justtwo on Nov. 19, 2012 at 9:58 AM

I would be pissed too, but stop trying to find issues (snooping).
I suggest some marriage counseling. 

jnw2992
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 10:01 AM

sorry but i would rather know if or if not my husband is cheating! when u see 7 girls emails on his contacts yes im gonna see if he message any of them recently

Quoting Mommy2justone:

I would be pissed too, but stop trying to find issues (snooping).
I suggest some marriage counseling. 


Mommy2justone
by Mommy2justtwo on Nov. 19, 2012 at 10:03 AM

Why were you in his email account in the first place? That is an invasion of privacy IMO. 
I understand wanting to know if your husband is cheating on you, but why don't you talk to him, instead of invading his privacy?

If there isn't trust in a marriage, then there isn't much of a marriage.  

Quoting jnw2992:

sorry but i would rather know if or if not my husband is cheating! when u see 7 girls emails on his contacts yes im gonna see if he message any of them recently

Quoting Mommy2justone:

I would be pissed too, but stop trying to find issues (snooping).
I suggest some marriage counseling. 



jnw2992
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 10:05 AM

For one he told me i could go on it to look up the phone # i needed so sorry but no invasion of privacy

Quoting Mommy2justone:

Why were you in his email account in the first place? That is an invasion of privacy IMO. 
I understand wanting to know if your husband is cheating on you, but why don't you talk to him, instead of invading his privacy?

If there isn't trust in a marriage, then there isn't much of a marriage.  

Quoting jnw2992:

sorry but i would rather know if or if not my husband is cheating! when u see 7 girls emails on his contacts yes im gonna see if he message any of them recently

Quoting Mommy2justone:

I would be pissed too, but stop trying to find issues (snooping).
I suggest some marriage counseling. 




Mommy2justone
by Mommy2justtwo on Nov. 19, 2012 at 10:16 AM

He told you that you could go on there to look up a # you needed. Not to get into his contacts, and read his messages. 
Invasion of privacy.


 

Quoting jnw2992:

For one he told me i could go on it to look up the phone # i needed so sorry but no invasion of privacy

Quoting Mommy2justone:

Why were you in his email account in the first place? That is an invasion of privacy IMO. 
I understand wanting to know if your husband is cheating on you, but why don't you talk to him, instead of invading his privacy?

If there isn't trust in a marriage, then there isn't much of a marriage.  

Quoting jnw2992:

sorry but i would rather know if or if not my husband is cheating! when u see 7 girls emails on his contacts yes im gonna see if he message any of them recently

Quoting Mommy2justone:

I would be pissed too, but stop trying to find issues (snooping).
I suggest some marriage counseling. 





jnw2992
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 10:33 AM

phone#'s are in contacts and he should have those skanks emails still in his contacts and stop being so catty my husband doesnt even care that i went through it

Quoting Mommy2justone:

He told you that you could go on there to look up a # you needed. Not to get into his contacts, and read his messages. 
Invasion of privacy.


 

Quoting jnw2992:

For one he told me i could go on it to look up the phone # i needed so sorry but no invasion of privacy

Quoting Mommy2justone:

Why were you in his email account in the first place? That is an invasion of privacy IMO. 
I understand wanting to know if your husband is cheating on you, but why don't you talk to him, instead of invading his privacy?

If there isn't trust in a marriage, then there isn't much of a marriage.  

Quoting jnw2992:

sorry but i would rather know if or if not my husband is cheating! when u see 7 girls emails on his contacts yes im gonna see if he message any of them recently

Quoting Mommy2justone:

I would be pissed too, but stop trying to find issues (snooping).
I suggest some marriage counseling. 






ceciliam
by Cecilia on Nov. 19, 2012 at 10:46 AM

Sounds like a tough situation, I'm sorry. I hope you guys are able to get the help you need and work things out.

jnw2992
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 10:48 AM

ty

Quoting ceciliam:

Sounds like a tough situation, I'm sorry. I hope you guys are able to get the help you need and work things out.


Mommy2justone
by Mommy2justtwo on Nov. 19, 2012 at 11:42 AM

Not being catty, I just think it is really sad that there is no trust in marriages any longer. 
If you suspected that he was cheating, why didn't you talk to him about it, if you saw that there were contacts you didn't recognize in his contact list, then you should have asked him without going in and "snooping".
Easy as that.
"
The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them everything else becomes self-flagellation" 
 


Quoting jnw2992:

phone#'s are in contacts and he should have those skanks emails still in his contacts and stop being so catty my husband doesnt even care that i went through it

Quoting Mommy2justone:

He told you that you could go on there to look up a # you needed. Not to get into his contacts, and read his messages. 
Invasion of privacy.


 

Quoting jnw2992:

For one he told me i could go on it to look up the phone # i needed so sorry but no invasion of privacy

Quoting Mommy2justone:

Why were you in his email account in the first place? That is an invasion of privacy IMO. 
I understand wanting to know if your husband is cheating on you, but why don't you talk to him, instead of invading his privacy?

If there isn't trust in a marriage, then there isn't much of a marriage.  

Quoting jnw2992:

sorry but i would rather know if or if not my husband is cheating! when u see 7 girls emails on his contacts yes im gonna see if he message any of them recently

Quoting Mommy2justone:

I would be pissed too, but stop trying to find issues (snooping).
I suggest some marriage counseling. 







CoeyG
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 6:05 PM

Sounds like the both of you are very immature, and shouldn't be married let alone parents...sigh You gave yourself away by saying what you did about getting "hot" when you kiss....grown ups are a wee bit more realisitic when they get pissed a kiss isn't going to do anything when they know their partner has been cheating whether physically or not. 

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