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How do I tell my kids that Grandma has cancer? piog

Posted by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 1:50 PM
  • 7 Replies


I just found out that my mother-in-law has uterine cancer.  They can do a hysterectomy and hopefully get it all, but the problem is that they are not sure she will make it through the surgery because of her heart.  How do I tell my 10 year old and 6 year old about this?  I don't want them to be surprised as well as heartbroken if she doesn't make it.  I love her and I am hoping she makes it through this, but I have to be strong for my kids.  I really need advice.

CafeMom Tickers
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 1:50 PM
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LuLuRex
by Bronze Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 4:58 PM
1 mom liked this

Wow that's really tough especially at their ages. I would tell them that she's really sick and the doctors are doing the best they can to make her better. 


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Momof2Stepof3
by Bronze Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 5:00 PM

I agree. They suppect that I have cancer also and for now were just telling the kids I'm just very sick once we know more on the 12th. I'll find away to explain it better. Mine are a bit older.

Quoting LuLuRex:

Wow that's really tough especially at their ages. I would tell them that she's really sick and the doctors are doing the best they can to make her better. 


Enjoy a Coffee Break Every Tuesday with Us!



Mommy2justone
by Mommy2justtwo on Nov. 19, 2012 at 5:08 PM

Just tell them. 

I told my 4 year old that Grandma was sick (She had had cancer since before my daughter's birth). She always knew Grandma was sick, but not the "don't give kisses" kind of sick, and that she needed extra hugs and kisses when we visited. 

When she was moved to Hospice I told her that Grandma was going to a special place in the hospital so she could be comfortable till she was ready to go to heaven. 
She then had the choice to go to the open casket funeral, and chose to go. She was fine, asks about her occasionally, misses her terribly, as do I.
This was in February of this year.

 

balagan_imma
by Bronze Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 5:12 PM

We just went through this a couple of weeks ago. In our case it'm my mom and breast cancer. My kids are 7, 13, & 14.

It really depends on what you think they can take and understand. We are really transparent here and tend to give them the honest truth. We told the older 2 together before the younger one. I have let them absorb it and ask questions. My little one cried a bit when I told him. I just hugged him and said that the doctors were going to do everything they could to make sure that she is with us for a good while longer.

I would stress to your kids that while grandma is very ill (don't use sick or they'll think they can catch it) everyone is going to do their best to help her get well. That includes them loving her and sending her notes and cards. And if things tend to look more bleak let them know that everyone is doing their best for her but sometimes the world just needs another guardian angel.

ChancesMommy07
by Silver Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 5:25 PM

Just tell them in the simplest terms possible. I was diagnosed with Cervical cancer in June 2011 and we just told our son that Mommy was going to be sick for awhile and that I was going to need him to be my helper. I have just tried to answer any and all questions that he has had in a way that is easy for him to understand. He is 5.

Mommi3-Sarah
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 5:28 PM
Id tell my DD's that grandma is sick and needs surgery. Id also say she might not wake up after the surgery because she was too sick, but not to be too sad. Because grandma will be happy and will always watch over us and love us. At least thats what I would say
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CoeyG
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 5:45 PM

Tell them the truth.  That she needs to have a surgery but her heart is very weak and it may not hold up during surgery.  

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