Moms with alchole abuse experience
My father was an alcoholic. It was not at all a fun life. He grabbed me by my throat and lifted me up and push me against the wall and choked me for a while before letting me go again. I went to school with horrible bruises around my neck the next day. . .
I have no love of alcohol. I do not allow even beer into my household. I don't like the way alcohol makes me feel and I have no desire in having alcohol around my kids.
After my parents divorced, I lost contact with my father. I found out this summer he drank himself to death at the age of 48. You know what? I didn't shed a single tear because I had absolutely no love for that man and resented him for the horrible things he did to us.
Alcoholism is a demon that is very good at consuming people. If you don't want to hurt your children, you will be finding the willpower to defeat your demon by ANY means.
This Thanksgiving my little sister cannot be with the rest of us. She is in prison for a year, for her fifth or sixth D.U.I. She's not at all sorry that she drinks and drives - she's only mad that she got caught. And yet I know people who have lost loved ones - babies, children, parents - because some idiot decided to drink and drive. The problem is that my sister is an alcoholic. She cannot admit that, will not admit that, so she comes up with all kinds of excuses why she has to have a drink.
She lost her job - they finally fired her. They stood by her the last time she went to jail for six months and got Huber release, so she could still work during her prison sentence. She lost her S.O. who didn't want to go through this crap with her again. She's going to lose her house, too, because she and her boy friend had bought it together, and he cannot make the payments without her help. She's lost everything! And she still won't admit she's an alcoholic.
Don't let the alcohol ruin your family. If you think you might be, then you are. Give it up forever. Do not ever allow yourself even one tiny little sip ever again as long as you live. Some people cannot eat peanuts - they are allergic to it. Peanuts are not bad, people who eat peanuts are not bad, but people who are allergic to peanuts could DIE if they eat them. So it is with the booze. Booze is not bad. People who sometimes drink booze are not bad people. But for the alcoholic, it is as though you are allergic to booze. You cannot ever have it ever ever again. Period! It will "kill" everything that is good about you, your life, your family. You will lose it all.
If you do not know why you are self medicating with booze, then you may wish to get some counseling. There are low-cost alternatives, you do not have to spend big bucks if you do not have it. If you have a job, counseling is often covered by health insurance, since mental issues can eventually cause health issues. If you are low-income, many preachers, priests and ministers are licensed counselors, and will accept whatever donation you can manage - maybe even nothing, if you become a member of their congregation. Not all are GOOD counselors, though, so stick with it. If you don't click with the first counselor, look for another one! and another one... you will find one that works for you.
There is also Catholic Family Services, available in many towns and cities. They offer counseling on a sliding fee scale, with a $10 minimum payment, and you do not need to be Catholic to go. But the Catholic Church stands firm on the issue of protecting the family, and offering low-cost counseling is one of the ways they can help.
Finally, start keeping a journal. Jot down your thoughts, feelings, desires, wishes, dreams, ambitions. Do this daily for the rest of your life. Periodically, review the things you've written. This can help you to see patterns, uncover potential problems, reveal secret fears... this may work, if the counseling doesn't. Besides, it can also be your "happy book". It can be the place you record all the GOOD things in your life, to remind you when things are really down.
Get help, and it will be the best gift you can ever give your children.
http://raisingcreativechildren.com/nail-biting/
Am I going to regret letting my mother be so involved in my children's lives?
- whoodathunk
Bronze Member on Nov. 21, 2012 at 7:00 AMSounds like you already know youhavea problem. Try to stay out of situations where alcohol is involved until it's easier to say no. If offered, say I don't drink. No shame in that. Drink soda if you feel better with something in your hand. Some people justcantdrink, no shamein that. If it's too difficult, seek help. AA, doctor, hospital, support groups...whatever works for you. stay strong& good luck.