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What's worse...over disciplining or not disciplining enough?

Posted by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 10:38 PM
  • 14 Replies
My sister and I were talking about the different ways people parent their kids. Some will often over discipline and correct everything, while others let everything slide and don't discipline enough. We all know that somewhere in the middle is best, but which is more detrimental in the long run, in your opinion?
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by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 10:38 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Firenygirl180
by Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 10:44 PM

I can swing to both ends of the spectrum.  there are times I should tell DS not to do something, but if it won't seriously injure or kill him then I let it slide for a little bit. There are other times he has been told 15 times not to do something and he continues to do it and that is when I feel like I'm being too harsh.  He is only 17 months right now and I used to use time outs but we have no where for time out right now so I lost that ability.  Once we move I am going to figure out a time out spot and go back to that.

I don't know which is more detrimental.  I think it depends on the behavior.  If a kid is doing something to test the boundaries then it is okay to an extent, but if a kid is blatantly doing something they know they shouldn't then there should be a consequence of some sort.   

missamanda86
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 10:46 PM
1 mom liked this

I think it can go either way. Not disciplining at all is what gets too many people, or waiting too long to start a discipline strategy

-PB
by Gold Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 10:48 PM

 Thats a tough one but I'd say not disciplining enough is worse.

CoeyG
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 10:56 PM
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I don't consider "correcting" a child's actions to be discipline.  Discipline is a form of teaching and redirecting.  A child might not be doing something you want them to do however that doesn't always make them "wrong" or "bad" I also don't think there is a "worse" here.  To not discipline at all is simply bad parenting in that it does a great diservice to the child by not teaching the proper way to behave.  I've yet to witness any over discipline

-PB
by Gold Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 11:50 PM

 Well said.  ;-)

Quoting CoeyG:

I don't consider "correcting" a child's actions to be discipline.  Discipline is a form of teaching and redirecting.  A child might not be doing something you want them to do however that doesn't always make them "wrong" or "bad" I also don't think there is a "worse" here.  To not discipline at all is simply bad parenting in that it does a great diservice to the child by not teaching the proper way to behave.  I've yet to witness any over discipline

 

SparklingHope
by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 12:09 AM

this.

Quoting -PB:

 Thats a tough one but I'd say not disciplining enough is worse.


sreichelt26
by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 1:01 AM
Agreed.

Quoting CoeyG:

I don't consider "correcting" a child's actions to be discipline.  Discipline is a form of teaching and redirecting.  A child might not be doing something you want them to do however that doesn't always make them "wrong" or "bad" I also don't think there is a "worse" here.  To not discipline at all is simply bad parenting in that it does a great diservice to the child by not teaching the proper way to behave.  I've yet to witness any over discipline

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emmy526
by Silver Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 6:19 AM

i think  over discipline causes a child to grow up and be more fearful of everything, due to having to watch their back their whole lives...it also causes a child to be more sneaky, too...i've seen this type of parenting, and the kids are really screwed up.....

on the other hand, i've seen NO discipline at all, and now grown kids are in jail, having their kids taken by cps, and their offspring are just as badly behaved, and no doubt, going to be another burden on society.  

Bmat
by Barb on Nov. 20, 2012 at 7:34 AM

This is similar to the impression I have also.  That the over-corrected child may be nervous, and the under-corrected child thinks the world is his oyster.

Quoting emmy526:

i think  over discipline causes a child to grow up and be more fearful of everything, due to having to watch their back their whole lives...it also causes a child to be more sneaky, too...i've seen this type of parenting, and the kids are really screwed up.....

on the other hand, i've seen NO discipline at all, and now grown kids are in jail, having their kids taken by cps, and their offspring are just as badly behaved, and no doubt, going to be another burden on society.  


aubreesmamma12
by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 9:37 AM

I correct my step daughter constantly she is six so if she is in trouble she gets timeout for six minutes. she is always testing me to see how much she can get away with. I always give her 3 warnings sometimes 4 if its not that bad. she hit me the other night and hit me 3 times so she was put in timeout. no discipline is not good because they will not know what is right or wrong

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