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Holiday Despute Between Siblings UPDATE

Posted by on Nov. 21, 2012 at 9:07 PM
  • 31 Replies

 

Poll

Question: Which house would you go to as the parent?

Options:

Sibling A

Sibling B


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 33

View Results

Sibling A lives near parents. Sibling B lives 30-40 minutes away.

Sibling A has a 1 story home with one step up into the home. Sibling B has a multi level home with several steps up into the home.

Sibling A would not have to rearrange rooms to make accomadations. Sibling B would have to bring dinner room set (table & chairs plus all food) down onto the main level.

Sibling A has children. Sibling B does not.

Sibling A has Christmas Day off with no children until around 1pm. Sibling B has to work til about 4pm on Christmas Day.

Mother of sibling has medical issues which cause her to be wheelchair bound for an indefinite amount of time (most likely will be in wheelchair at Christmas). Both siblings are willing to make Christmas dinner & have parents & other sibling over for Christmas.

If YOU were the mother which house would you prefer to go to that day? Mind you the sibling not hosting would be coming to the other sibling's house as well.


Someone suggested I make everything & take it to my parents' house. I think this is a great idea & I am going to run it by my mom. All she would need to do is let me use her kitchen around 4pm. I have everything already planned for dinner.

And another thing I remember from years past... My ex & I have the only grandkids on his mom's side of the family. ExIn Laws always served dinner around 11 or 12... like LUNCH time! And they would want us to be there around 10am. It's an hour drive to their house. Which means if we had to be there at 10 we would have to leave at 9am. In order to make that happen ex & I would have to get up at 7am to get everyone ready. My mom always said that was ridiculous. Especially on Christmas Day to have the kids rush through opening gifts with us & from Santa. She said everyone should come to US or do it on OUR time, not theirs. So why shouldn't I do it here then?

by on Nov. 21, 2012 at 9:07 PM
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Replies (1-10):
CampClan
by Bronze Member on Nov. 21, 2012 at 10:41 PM

Thanks ladies! I thought it would be a no brainer but our mother pretty much said to figure it out ourselves. I of course am Sibling A & my brother is sibling B. Both of us have offered to make Christmas dinner & have our parents & the other sibling over (with the kids of course). I am trying to insist that he let me do it by saying I am going to be home all day & the kids will be with my ex til 1pm so I would have no interuptions. He works at a movie theatre & will have to owrk until 4 or 5 that evening. He says his girlfriend will do all the cooking & cleaning & they will only have a few things (i.e. snacky type stuff). I want to go all out & make a huge spread.

This is my 1st Christmas as a divorced mom. In the past the kids & I would do Christmas with my parents on Christmas Eve after church then Christmas Day we would spend the day traveling with my ex to his side of the family functions. My brother thinks I should come over to his house this year because there is more space. I think considering our mother is in a wheelchair & can't walk up many steps we should have it at my house. PLUS, I would be the one who has to haul 5 kids there to his house PLUS them & their gifts back to my house! My brother says he doesn't have a problem bringing the gifts back to my house for me (he has a pick up & I have a van). My thinking is if he is willing to come out here to drop off the gifts for me then why can't he just do dinner out here!

Another suggestion he had was that my parents come do gifts with me & my kids after they have dinner over at his place... as if he was uninviting me.

Aslen
by Silver Member on Nov. 21, 2012 at 10:42 PM
Dafaq did.i just read?!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
AubreeGrace17
by Member on Nov. 21, 2012 at 11:21 PM
Sibling a
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
CoeyG
by on Nov. 21, 2012 at 11:33 PM

Well I have three sisiters.  I know that two of them my mother would not want to see at this time of year...they are my "half" sisters, dad's daughters from his first marriage and my mother never really cared for them even when they were kids.  As far as my home, my mother lived with my younger sister in her declining years because she had Alzheimer's and since my younger sister and I never did see eye to eye mom wouldn't be on a plane heading east to visit my family over the holidays and considering that my younger sis and I never saw eye to eye I doubt I'd be welcome in her home LOL.  So there ya go.  

I had only one child but if I had two it would depend on whether or not I had my own home.  If I was still in my own home I would have both families come to my home, they could do all the cooking and preparing and everyone could stay with "Grandma".  Thus not having the battle between the sibligns other than who's stuffing rexipie they would be fixing. 

ZOOMZOOMCANTOR
by on Nov. 22, 2012 at 9:38 AM

I think you as newly divorced  should get out of the house this year

Dont make Mom mad or she'll just stay home lol

image description

Bmat
by Barb on Nov. 22, 2012 at 9:43 AM

What I would do would be to go to one for Thanksgiving and the other for Christmas. Since you didn't mention Thanksgiving, go to one for Christmas and the other for New Years or Easter.

Bmat
by Barb on Nov. 22, 2012 at 9:44 AM


Quoting CoeyG:

...

I had only one child but if I had two it would depend on whether or not I had my own home.  If I was still in my own home I would have both families come to my home, they could do all the cooking and preparing and everyone could stay with "Grandma".  Thus not having the battle between the sibligns other than who's stuffing rexipie they would be fixing. 

This is what I do. I prepare a meal and invite everyone. Whoever doesn't want to come, it is their decision.

StrawberryCool
by on Nov. 22, 2012 at 9:53 AM
I was just told id be homeless whwn I got home.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Pink.Frosting
by Member on Nov. 22, 2012 at 9:56 AM

I would make dinner and take it to my mother's house so the person in the wheelchair doesn't have to leave home!

CampClan
by Bronze Member on Nov. 22, 2012 at 9:59 AM


Quoting Bmat:

What I would do would be to go to one for Thanksgiving and the other for Christmas. Since you didn't mention Thanksgiving, go to one for Christmas and the other for New Years or Easter.

My family has always done Thanksgiving before (due to the fact that I used to do day of with my ex & his families). My mom has never cooked Thanksgiving dinner & there is no way in the world either my brother or I will (I have burned a turkey before & he doesn't like turkey). So my parents have taken us to dinner at an all you can eat place for the past 5 years. We have done Easter dinner at my parents' before & IDK about this coming year.

My 16yo DS says the reason my brother wants to do it is because his roommates have finally moved out & he has his house all to himself again & he wants to show it off. I honestly could care less about what his house looks like now. He lives 30 minutes away & we never see each other except for special days like birthdays & holidays. We are both way too busy. I don't want to go over there because I have a Dodge Caravan that fits me & my 5 kids... I barely have room for groceries if I take all 5 of them with me. Having to haul back 5 kids plus gifts is not going to work for me.

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