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dissatisfied with sex life

Posted by on Nov. 23, 2012 at 12:59 AM
  • 6 Replies
So my df and I never seem to be on the same page with our sex drives. ill go several days in a row where sex is all I can think about (i have a pretty high drive, and he used to) and guys won't be in the mood or gets annoyed that I'm coming on to.him too much. that happened this past week, I was ready to go all week and practically had to bug him for sex. then I got a nasty cold and felt like hell, couldn't be less interested and he was all over me. even rolled me over onto my stomach and "put it in" as he phrases it despite the fact I said I was tired and.didn't really want to. for the ladies that might throw the rape care out there I was laughing at him when I told him no so I don't think he really took me seriously. Another problem is that he sometimes goes through phases where he rarely wants to do it and when he does its a wham bam thank you ma'am kind of thing. today he was all over me, I'm still getting over a cold, was in the kitchen, his son was running around, and again I just wasn't feeling it. he tends to get locked into his video games for days at a time and doesn't understand why I am.not so turned on when.he. finally turns. it off and is ready to have sex real quick. tonight we had the house to ourselves, which is a rarity and I thought we could take our time some. he used to like to do that. but nope he just dove right in so to speak and I was left unsatisfied...again. and yes I've talked to him about it more than once. He's one of those who doesn't see the need for one on one time or quality time.because we live together and that apparently.extends to the bedroom. any ideas? Thanks for reading I know this was super long!
by on Nov. 23, 2012 at 12:59 AM
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by on Nov. 23, 2012 at 1:01 AM
*He wont be interested. and any other errors. autocorrect is a pain!
by on Nov. 23, 2012 at 1:10 AM

Well, I guess you could do him partially and then say, okay, I'm done, and mean it.  If he says I'm not satisfied, you then say,well, that my life right now, you don't care to satisfy me anymore.  I would also take it out of the bedroom and ask him what's going on and try to get him to take more time.  I'm your husband in this case. Although I always went ahead and had sex frequently with my husband to accomodate him.  He wanted to go for hours though, and I like a quickie once in a while.  His idea of a quickie was thirty minutes of foreplay and 30 minutes of the main event.

by on Nov. 23, 2012 at 1:17 AM
See I've asked him what's going on and he just says he's going through a phase. but its a 3 month minimum phase. I WISH he would take time. he used to be all about "making love" and making sure my needswere met. he still wants me to get mine,but isnt really trying that hard. and then he's mad when I say I didn't get mine. smh

by Ruby Member on Nov. 23, 2012 at 7:42 AM
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by Barb on Nov. 23, 2012 at 11:43 AM

It doesn't sound like a loving relationship. It should be more about both of you trying to please the other.  From your description, it sounds as though he wants it when he thinks he may not be able to get it, and the aggression when you told him no, even though you were laughing, - he should have taken you seriously. The aggression is a worry.

by on Nov. 23, 2012 at 9:51 PM

Have you ever heard of Dan Savage, he talks alot about GGG. It means to be Good Giving and Game with your partner, and life in general. He gives the best advice, and just listening to his podcasts put you in a better frame of mind when it comes to your relationship and you and your partner's flaws.

He is gay and a lot of his podcast is about taboo, and not main-stream sex, but all of his advice is applicable in a man-woman mono relationship. Here's the link to his podcast He is amazing and somewhat of a relationship guru. I need to warn you this is not for the faint of heart or conservative person (they will not enjoy hearing this)

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