Okay ladies, I'm 19. I have 16 month old daughter, and im currently 5 months pregnant as well. I'm young I know. but I am married, i got married at 17 to my husband he was 20. well.. we have not had an easy marriage. one thing after another. nothing seems to work out right for us. So he cheated in July, and I was devestated, and about a month later i had positive pregnancy test, so we decided to go to a marriage class for christians. it was working out, for me atleast.. but two days ago, i found out he was on a dating website, and trying to "have some fun." He works out of town every week with a tower climbing company, I'm devestated and don't know what to do. We live in Arizona with his family, and my family is in Virginia.. I want to leave because honestly, who does that to their pregnant wife?!? I can't stop crying, I hate myself and him. My family obviously wants me to come home to virginia, which looks like a great option, but his family is telling me to work on it, but i did the first time he cheated, and he did it again. I feel like they only want me to stay so I wont take their grandkids away, and they aren't seeing how hurt and disgusted I am. It's like everything is on me to work it out, but no one is chastizing him for what he has done. oh and I haven't talked to him, because he shut his phone off. he wont be home till tomorrow night, so i have no idea what he's doing three hours away. I'm just very confused and would love an outsiders point of view, should i stay or go?
I'm sorry mama. I would go to live with your family and don't fall for his ploys to get you back. They can be so charming when they want something, but two times is too many for me. Third time, shame on you I think how it is worded.
You need to make this decision for you. He is the one treating YOU this way. Not his family, not your family and not even the kids. So take out all of those other factors. If you no longer want to be treated this way, do what you feel is best. Whether that means staying and working it out or moving back to Virginia with your family.
"Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification" Romans 14:19
You should go sweetheart. Go be with your family until you get your mind right. Its not necessarily ending it completely between the two of you, but you need a break for your own sanity. If you want, maybe you could let your dd stay with her grandparents while you go back to virginia just so you can get things straight. Most importantly, you need to get your mind right before anything else can take place. Take atleast two weeks, that way he wont be clouding your rationalization. If anything, you can go see a counselor when you get back to virginia and that should help with whatever decisions you shall make. I know it can be tough, when youre constantly thinking and assuming what hes doing while away. But the best thing is to let it go for now. Let him come to you babygirl, show him you dont need him & that youre done taking his crap. I'm here if you need someone to talk to. Goodluck (hugs)
If I were you, I would go back to my family in Virginia. You tried once and the problem still persisted and in hindsight it seems that he agreed to go to these classes just for show. His family is trying to ignore the problem and sweep it under the rug and have no real concern for you other than you have the power over the kids. You have to do what's best for you and your family, so I would start packing and surround yourself with the support system that you need right now.
I would tell your inlaws you gave him a chance but he clearly cannot stay true to you. Better you leave now when your child is little. So sorry this has happened, good luck!
Oh, and tell them if they are going to get mad, get mad at their son!
A question for those who have kids close in age..
When was your due date and when did you give birth?
- Emmas_Mommy2011
on Nov. 29, 2012 at 1:09 PM