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venting about baby dad & custody (kinda long)

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I won't get into too much detail about what happened before Dd was born because it is a lot (unless you want to know and think it'd help with anything). I just need to vent because dd father is being a jerk right now about things. She was born the 14th so she is only 2 weeks old. Her dad wants to take her for a few hours to overnight already. She is ebf and I don't produce extra milk to be able to give him any for an overnight stay or a visit. He is saying that out of spite I am trying to keep her from him, which is not the case. Also, the pediatrician told me not to take her out much during winter, wait 3-6 months or until winter is over because of the flu/rsv season. Well her father doesn't believe me and wants proof which I am getting, but now he wants to take me to court. He had threatened me before she was born that he was going to take me to court and get primary.

He decided not to sign the acknowledgment of paternity or for her birth cert/social at the hospital. He's done a lot of stuff lately that makes me unhappy such as he has only seen her 3x since she was born,(twice in the hospital but left right after delivery) he puts his gfs daughter over her and he only asks about how shes doing MAYBE once a week. 

I'm extremely attached to her, and I am also afraid to let him have her for an hour or even overnight because he has anger issues.. I also don't know his gf, and with how he is I'm afraid he would basically kidnap.her and not bring her back to me. He won't let me have his address where he is currently living either which makes me very uneasy.

There's probably a lot more to tell, but ill start with all this first and see if anyone has opinions or suggestions. Please don't be mean about stuff though.

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Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers
by on Nov. 29, 2012 at 9:40 PM
Replies (31-35):
flowerfunleah
by Member on Dec. 2, 2012 at 1:04 PM

DON'T give her to him until you go to court.

Please please please don't give her to hime until after you go to court. The court will side in your favor for a number of reasons but mostly because she's ebf, she's 2 weeks old, and because he refuses to give you his address and MOSTLY because he didn't sign the birth certificate.

This game is in YOUR hands, don't let him have you thinking that he has control because he doesn't. She's an infant, not a child, custody is different for newborns because newborns NEED their mother physically.

Promise me you won't give her to him until after you go to court. Don't worry about lawyers, there are a TON of lawyers that will take cases pro bono (for free) if you really need it.

starmoonlight
by on Dec. 2, 2012 at 1:07 PM
Not on birth certificate... No legal obligation.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
starmoonlight
by on Dec. 2, 2012 at 1:09 PM
This completely


Quoting flowerfunleah:

DON'T give her to him until you go to court.

Please please please don't give her to hime until after you go to court. The court will side in your favor for a number of reasons but mostly because she's ebf, she's 2 weeks old, and because he refuses to give you his address and MOSTLY because he didn't sign the birth certificate.

This game is in YOUR hands, don't let him have you thinking that he has control because he doesn't. She's an infant, not a child, custody is different for newborns because newborns NEED their mother physically.

Promise me you won't give her to him until after you go to court. Don't worry about lawyers, there are a TON of lawyers that will take cases pro bono (for free) if you really need it.


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
lv_my_babies
by on Dec. 2, 2012 at 1:12 PM
1 mom liked this

My ex wont provide me with his address and that is one of the big reasons why I wont let him keep my kids. I would rather know where they are then to worry about where they are. Stick to your guns on this, if you don't trust him then don't send her. 

Clove8
by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 2:18 AM

I know exatly what you are going threw.. My daughter was born on January 7th.. Her father has only seen her 2 times since she was born and that was at the hospitial,. He always threated to leave me when we were together and always would say that I cheated on him and that she was not his .. Well when he saw her for the frist time almost 6 hours after she was born.. ( He could not put his hatred for my father aside long enought to be that the hospital while he was there) He  looked at me and said yah she is mine.. He signed both the bc/ and ackanledge ment paper stating that she is his.. He had also threated me that he was going to get vistation rights.. Well heres the thing.. He has 3 other kids ..He has 2 sons who he has not had contact with since 08 (  They live with there gradparents )( His ex wifes mother and father)  And he has a daughter who he has not seen since I wanna say late 08.. But not sure.. He shares rights for his daughter but has no rights for his sons.. All he does is pay child support for his daughter.. He has not been there at all for our daughter..  He to has an anger managment problem ..Along with not telling me  exatly where he lives.. Cuz he does not have his own place...He works but would rather sleep on someones couch then have his own place And he wont take her to where he stays cuz they smoke both cigs and iv had people tell me they smoke pot  in there living room.. Which is where he sleeps.. .. He  does not take care of himself or anything and he spends all his money on scratch tickets( Whats left after he pays his rent a center for his play station) .Hes  never once asked to see her.. Only a photo a day.. Thats all.. ..We had agreed to keep it outta courts cuz neither one of us has the money or the time to go to court.. And on top of it...I know he wont take me.. Cuz that means he would actally have to be a father.. And not just someones BD ..His own family has said he doesnt see his other kids and doesnt try.. ..Sorry for the long comment.. If you want to talk more.. Message me.

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