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I feel so sad when I put my girl down in her crib and shut the door on her

Posted by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 2:36 AM
  • 26 Replies
I love my little girl so much. She is almost 7 mo old and she has slept in her crib in her room since she was born. I would loved to have slept with her, but I had a really rough delivery and I was a medical mess when I got home. So she started her little life in her crib... Apart from me, her mommy, and all exposed in her big crib.
Now every night when I put her down I am so sad. I'm so sad to leave her there alone. I know she is safe and I am right down the hall and I come when I hear her on the monitor. I just think if she were sleeping with me, she would never wake and cry and feel those scary feelings before I come and get her in the night.
I love her so much! I don't ever want her to have scary feelings of being alone. I'm sure I'm extra emotional but I feel it almost every night. Am I heaping guilt upon myself? How do I make peace about this?
by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 2:36 AM
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Replies (1-10):
redcarnelle
by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 2:38 AM
I would love to just bring her into our bed, but it is too small, and the room is too small for us to get a bigger bed...
frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Dec. 6, 2012 at 2:59 AM

Understand that you started from the beginning so she knows no different.  As long as you get her right away when she cries, she will be fine.   IF there is space in your bedroom, you could move her crib there with you so that she is closer but not in actual bed.

piwife
by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 8:32 AM
Hugs . Can ou bring her to your bed. I have never used a crib. (3kids) my youngest is 7 mts and she sleeps in my bed. How big is your bed
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atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Dec. 6, 2012 at 8:52 AM
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You need to learn now that you are doing the right thing. Also get a backbone because discipline helps children and doesn't hurt them. You seem the type to let kids run over you. Mine were in a crib just fine at 2 months and falling asleep on their own.
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Bmat
by Barb on Dec. 6, 2012 at 8:53 AM

Probably at this age she isn't having scary feelings. The crying is her way of communicating, especially if you pick her up right away.

mamalusbear
by Bronze Member on Dec. 6, 2012 at 12:20 PM
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So sorry you had a rough beginning Mama :(.  I had a rough delivery with my son too (emergency c-section, breastfeeding issues, etc.)  for awhile I had him in a co-sleeper in our room, then I just moved his crib into our bedroom for a few months...it was really comforting and if your SO is in agreement, maybe you could try this?  My LO is now 12 months and in his own room....but the time he was in the same room with us was very healing for me.  Don't be so hard on yourself, you persevered and now you have a beautiful little girl....you deserve to be proud of yourself.

MamaDee2Bee
by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 2:12 PM


Quoting mamalusbear:

So sorry you had a rough beginning Mama :(.  I had a rough delivery with my son too (emergency c-section, breastfeeding issues, etc.)  for awhile I had him in a co-sleeper in our room, then I just moved his crib into our bedroom for a few months...it was really comforting and if your SO is in agreement, maybe you could try this?  My LO is now 12 months and in his own room....but the time he was in the same room with us was very healing for me.  Don't be so hard on yourself, you persevered and now you have a beautiful little girl....you deserve to be proud of yourself.

Try what she said..or is there room in her room for a bed? you could sleep in there just to be close to her.....

deviljrswifey
by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 2:19 PM
Once they sleep in your bed they never want their crib.
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redcarnelle
by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 3:00 PM
Quoting frndlyfn:

Understand that you started from the beginning so she knows no different.  As long as you get her right away when she cries, she will be fine.   IF there is space in your bedroom, you could move her crib there with you so that she is closer but not in actual bed.




Thanks for this. You make a good point. I think I am extra emotional at night, which of course is when I put her down in her crib. I nurse her lying down in bed a couple of times during the day, and I just joined a baby wearing group, so hopefully I can start wearing her more during the day too.

The other mom said how healing it was for her to sleep with her baby after her rough delivery. I think I haven't recognized how rough mine was and that being physically close to my baby would be healing for me. I guess better late than never. I will remember this for my next baby for sure.

Thanks all ladies for your support!
CoeyG
by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 5:33 PM

My daughter started her life in her own crib.She was on a heat monitor.  It  was the best for the both of us.  During the day she was up and her and I spent lots of time together and at night she slept straight through. 

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